Sister moved out of parents, i moved into her room, AIBU to not want her to just come in looking for stuff

[Makemeaname]

My sister moved out maybe a month or 2 ago, shes not taken everything with her but enough stuff that its now very definitely "my room" rather than hers.

Shes come round tonight, and has just basically ransacked the room while I was in the shower, looking for some post she received just before she moved out.

Now, I have no issue with her looking for stuff in the room, I appreciate theres still a fair bit of her belongings in here. But, AIBU to expect her to say "make, is it ok if I look for X in there?" Anf then give me 10 minutes to put some more personal items away, rather than just barge in while I'm not there to stop her?

Go through everything, find her things, pack it up and put it somewhere safe (under the stairs?) Let her know, and ask her to ask you before she goes through your personal things again.

It's your sister. It's your parents' house, not yours. You.sound very young: take a step back and get some perspective.

Sisters rooms are fair game while you’re still living with your parents

In all serious ness though- why didn’t you pack up her stuff and set it in another room? You knew she would need it at some stage.

How old are you both?
Has she moved out permanently or is there a chance she'll move back?
If the move is permanent perhaps you could tactfully suggest that her things are packed up and stored elsewhere (either at your parents house or her new place) and you could offer to help do this.
What's happened to your old room?

Yep!! Sort her stuff out, put it tidily away somewhere and tell her where it is.

Seriously are you 13 years old ?!

Shes moved out permanently, her stuff is confined to one drawer and the bookcase (and half of my old bedroom) so not like she needed to actually go through any of my stuff.

My mum has moved into my old room, which still has things I dont use in there along with my sisters stuff, I wouldn't go in there without asking my mum first.

I also assumed (obviously mistakenly) that she would have taken anything she thought she'd need soon with her when she moved out.

I'm not saying I want to ban her from the room, just would prefer a bit of warning to hide stuff and so I dont walk out in just a towel from the shower to find her in there annoyed that I've appeared.

Yabu and ridiculous.

I've just moved back from uni, so yes fairly young although not 13 , we haven't lived together in that house for maybe 5 years - and when we did we wouldn't wander into each others room without knocking.

Move all her stuff into a cupboard elsewhere in the house, tell her you’ve done that then she has no need to come in there. Pretty straightforward.

Hide stuff? Because you think she'll steal them or are they 'embarrassing/dodgy stuff?'...

Has she moved off to uni by any chance? (coz a month or 2 ago would be about right timing) If so does she still see it as her home?

I have 3 siblings at uni and 3 still living at home, I moved out and have my own flat. In term time the 3 at home have their own rooms, in the holidays it is very clear the uni 3 still consider those their rooms so they will barge in, I wouldn't because it's not my home anymore, so I think really if yabu depends on if shes moved out temporarily to go to uni and is likely to come home for summer, Christmas etc in which case YABU, or if she has moved out permanently and just not got round to moving her stuff, in which case YANBU.

I’m 33 and still go into my sisters room without asking (usually to steal socks when I’m at my parents house) I haven’t lived with her in 14 years.

So what's happened to your mum's old room?
I'm very confused about the musical rooms!
Just put sister's stuff in spare room (if there is one) or in a cupboard (if not) and move all your stuff into your new room.

It's not that hard!

Oh sorry, cross posted, no she shouldn't be rummaging through your stuff in that case.

What are you hiding 🤔

Please tell me you're both around the age of 5. Because I'm reading this in horror that I will have to still be putting up with these arguments so far past that age.

Pack up everything of hers and return it to her.

I don't think it's ridiculous. I think people's personal space is exactly that - and ok, it's your sister - but do the rest of you want YOUR sister rummaging through your bedside drawers and moving your vibrator, or your doodles of 'Mrs Chris Hemsworth...me and Chris forever'?

You might have nude photos of a strange woman but you haven't yet told your parents you are gay. You might be single and yet taking the pill. I wouldn't want my sodding sister taunting me with 'Ooh! Do Mum and Dad know you're having sex?' as she found my packet of contraceptives. (Unlikely...I'm mid 50s). You might have a positive pregnancy test you've just done and are panicking about what the fuck to do. And you don't want your sister coming across it because it's none of her business.

Whatever. You might have NO FUCKING SECRETS whatsoever - but just feel like your space is yours and not want your bloody sister messing up all your stuff.

OP I'm with you. It takes a 10 minute wait for you to get out the shower and a 'Mate - can you check if my post is in your room?' Either way - I'd do what others have said and pack her stuff up and tell her it's under the stairs/in the lobby/in the shed.

I don't understand why people are asking the OP if she's very young.

Just because she's living in the house owned by her parents doesn't mean she has no right to a room of her own and a certain level of privacy.

I most certainly would not have allowed one of my DCs to have gone into another one's room - it's the OP's room now, not her sisters and they are not sharing it - and search for stuff, they might have left in there.

Agree with pps saying pack up the stuff she's left and put it somewhere safe for her to come back and search through when she feels the need.

Otherwise ask your parents for a lock to put on your bedroom door.

Given you have a university education, I think this is something you ought to be able to sort out yourself without asking MN first.

OP sorry for the rude replies you're getting here. Mumsnetters seem to be a mixture of people who genuinely like conversing and helping others and people who just take any excuse to condescend and be rude to others.
I expect your sister is just in old habits and meant no harm but I think you have a right to some privacy too. Can you talk to her calmly about it and perhaps find a place to store her things so that they're easily accessible to her without impinging on you?

@NarwhalsNarwhals nah she's older than me, moved out with her partner so definitely sees it as a permanent thing rather than just term time.

@AnotherEmma musical rooms sounds about right - my dad has remained in what was my parents room as they both snore and annoy each other.

@TimeforanotherChange yes this is exactly it - I have medicines for things I'm not necessarily keeping secret, I just wouldn't want to discuss with anyone in my family. It shouldn't even matter though, I could literally have nothing vaguely personal in here and would still like her to at least acknowledge that shes moved out and I live in here now.

@recrudescence I did try asking gently if she really needed to barge in unannounced, and she had a go at me,- hence me wondering if I had unreasonable expectations, as she clearly thinks I do.

Happy to accept I'm wrong, and need to have a proper sort out over the weekend, although i highly doubt everyone on this thread has nothing at all private in their bedroom that they wouldn't want other people going through.

She thinks you’re still a child. She’s acting the big sister role she probably did as kids. It’s not being helped by you living at home, therefore she’s slipped into an old habit easily.