Sister moved out of parents, i moved into her room, AIBU to not want her to just come in looking for stuff

[Makemeaname]

My sister moved out maybe a month or 2 ago, shes not taken everything with her but enough stuff that its now very definitely "my room" rather than hers.

Shes come round tonight, and has just basically ransacked the room while I was in the shower, looking for some post she received just before she moved out.

Now, I have no issue with her looking for stuff in the room, I appreciate theres still a fair bit of her belongings in here. But, AIBU to expect her to say "make, is it ok if I look for X in there?" Anf then give me 10 minutes to put some more personal items away, rather than just barge in while I'm not there to stop her?

I think she was rude to ransack your room and i think it was a display of dominance. A bit shitty and immature really

I dont understand why as soon as its clear its a young person writing, so many people reply in a really condescending way

OP I picked up on this I dont walk out in just a towel from the shower to find her in there annoyed that I've appeared. in one of your earlier posts, and I was going to ask if you were really sure that she was annoyed you'd appeared, because if so she was out of order.

Then I saw you posted later I did try asking gently if she really needed to barge in unannounced, and she had a go at me.

One of two things. One, she still sees it as her room, and hasn't got over the idea it's yours now even though she's moved out. You know how some people, after the break up of a relationship, a break up they initiated, they still don't like it when the ex moves on? They don't want him/her, but don't want anyone else to have them either?

Or two, she's realised she's left something behind that she doesn't want you or anyone else to see, and was hoping to go into the room when you weren't there, get it, and get out again with you none the wiser. And she was annoyed because she was already feeling on edge about getting whatever it was back.

Let it go this time, but pre-empt it happening again by removing all her stuff from the room at the weekend. And if she has a go again, don't start questioning yourself. Your expectations that it's your space now aren't unreasonable.

Can't you just box up all her stuff and have her bring it to her new home, or store it in the attic?

I don't think, if you both occasionally stay with parents, you can expect the level of privacy you'd have if you were permanent residents and/or if you lived in your own place.

She moved out a month or two ago - come on! What gives you the right to decide how she or your parents should act in a house that doesn't belong to you?

I moved out and my brother moved into my old room if not that same day then by the weekend

I never went into what was then his room to look for my things (although in fairness a) my stuff was either with me or not in that room - I suspect he saw to that and b) a 17 year old boys room is pretty rank

Did confuse the kids though as that room is still referred to as brother's room, and his old bedroom is Nan's room (because she would stay there) - the old spare room is no longer a bedroom - kids got very confused as to which was my room and thought we shared

@SarahAndQuack if my parents had a reason to go in my room, I'd be less annoyed as it is their house, although as I'm paying rent I think I should have some rights over my room.

Shes been living with them permanently for 3 years, I've just moved back in and will probably live with them for about a year - they say the limit is 2 years post uni but hopefully will be out before then. But not occasional visits

You can’t expect the same level of privacy in your parents home if you aren’t paying the bills. It clearly isn’t just your room if her stuff is still there

Can you put a lock on the door? I couldn't handle that sort of behaviour.

YANBU. It’s your room now, she has moved out, even if her belongings are still there, there should be a basic expectation of privacy.