Charging Son Rent?

[ThrowAwayQP]

This is more of a is my friend being unreasonable?

My friend’s oldest son has not long turned 17. He has just dropped out of college to peruse an apprenticeship; and I’ve just learnt that his parents are going to charge him £400 a month to live with them. (Baring in mind he’s a child so can’t actually move out!)

They are also cutting off his phone contract and bus pass; as “he’s working now.” The son came round to mine to babysit the other day; and was telling me how he has had to get a second job in a takeaway in the evening to afford his driving lessons.

I mentioned this to my friend the other day and she told me it was because she is losing over £300 a month from their universal credit because of him dropping out and taking the apprenticeship so she “needs to make it back”

Aibu to think that charging your, still a child son, to live at home is just not right? Tbh it’s made me see my friend in a new money grubbing light; and is making me reconsider the friendship.

Charging is ok but that amount sounds excessive.

She may need the £300 to make ends meet. You quote her as saying she needed to make the money back.

So there may be an argument to charge £300 in rent, £400 seems excessive.

Btw, he may still be a child technically in law but it’s not the case that he can’t move out at 17 (assuming you’re in the UK). You don’t need parental permission to leave home at that age.

It's bearing not baring.

He is old enough to move out if he wanted. It is a lot of money but rent and bills would be a lot more. Perhaps he should negotiate with his folks over that especially if he's covering other costs.

Of course he can can move out. Who would stop him? Absolutely agree with her charging him board. But not that much. I wouldn't pay for his phone or bus pass either. I had 2 jobs when I was 17. Worked in a shop at weekends. As soon as I was 18 I worked in a pub at nights for extra money.

How much does he earn a month? some apprentices earn a good wage.

I’m trying to think what I’d do with my own DC...

I think I’d stop paying for the phone and other costs like that. I’d maybe charge a nominal fee once they were 18 toward food; but charging a child to live at home just doesn’t sit right with me.

The other way I look at it is; what happens when he moves out? Surely he alone can’t cost £300-400 to have in the house each month? She has several other children so it’s not as if the cost of utilities, food etc is going to suddenly drop when he goes?

I honestly hadn’t thought about it from the what if she needs it to make ends meet tho (I’ll admit the privilege there - if we lost £300 a month it’d be a bummer but we’d still make ends meet.)

Do you really get that much for one child?

@Dawninglory he’s on the standard apprenticeship wage... £3 something an hour?

If he’s working full time, then charging rent isn’t uncommon. However, that does seem a lot, and some apprentices don’t get paid a lot. The current minimum wage for an apprentice is £3.90, so taking £400 is quite a lot.

I wouldn’t be charging and think it’s very unfair that as a child he now has to effectively self support. It’s just gone from the state to him doing it but it should be the parent/s.

Hopefully he will gain a job at the end of it and make a decent start for himself in life.

In any case it is not your business. That, your comment about "really that much for one child" and you "reconsidering the friendship" suggest she'd be better off without you as one in my opinion.

I think that's a shocking amount for someone doing an apprenticeship.

I know there's teaching life lessons, but really......?

Mumsnet's line is generally that your DC should be paying a fair whack once they've left school. IMO if your DC are in education/training and, crucially, you can afford it, you shouldn't be charging them, certainly not that amount. Different strokes for different folks I suppose!

He only gets £3 per hour?! That's how much I got 25 years ago when I was his age. Something has gone wrong here 😢

I think children should pay board once they start working- if nothing else it teaches them that nothing in life is free!

Because all young adults are incapable of understanding that if they want things when they're not at home they have to pay for them 🙄

Has his DM got a job? Probably not if she has several kids. What’s she going to do when they’re all grown up and left home? Clearly sees her DCs as her income.

My son is doing an apprenticeship earning the same amount. It's very low pay but it's definitely been worth it as they have told him they are going to offer him a full time position at the end. I make him pay for his phone contract and he pays his fares (London zones 1-6). Nothing else but once he is on a proper salary then definitely will ask for contributions to household per month.

Nah, I think that's shit of them to charge him that much.

If he's working, it's fine to charge some rent, but that's totally excessive IMO.

Would never dream of charging a child rent. Even if I couldn't afford not to - I'd prefer to struggle greatly to make it work somehow.

Unpopular opinion but if you don't want to support your kids for life, why have them in the first place!? Never accepted the bullshit about 'forcing kids to be independent.'

YANBU, OP.

I’m in a similar position to your friend, or will be soon. My DS will need to contribute to the household when he starts earning.
£400 a month seems a lot but £300 a month is a lot for your friend to lose from her family budget.
She’s not unreasonable asking him to pay board at all.

I think the amount she’s charging is too much though, way too much.

£3.90 is the min apprentice wage.
I’m not sure how many hours he gets paid for but estimating 30 hours with 1 day a week at college that’s £468. I can’t see how £68 would last the lad a month to be honest. His mum might be “losing” £300 so why is she insisting on £400? Even if he did pay £300 that should mean he wouldn’t need to take on a part time job while juggling the work and college just to survive. He’s going to burn out

My mother had to do the same, I was charged £340 a month because that was exactly what she had lost in benefits (but this was the old system).
When I moved out she was able to rent my room out to cover that cost, I honestly don’t see the problem here if the alternative is the family struggling? It is what it is.

I think it’s pretty mean to charge a 17 year old apprentice to live in the family home. Especially £400 a month. Some people unfortunately only care about what their children can give them

Also OP says “over £300”, so I’m assuming it’s more likely mum is losing £340+ (biased by my own experience).