Charging Son Rent?

[ThrowAwayQP]

This is more of a is my friend being unreasonable?

My friend’s oldest son has not long turned 17. He has just dropped out of college to peruse an apprenticeship; and I’ve just learnt that his parents are going to charge him £400 a month to live with them. (Baring in mind he’s a child so can’t actually move out!)

They are also cutting off his phone contract and bus pass; as “he’s working now.” The son came round to mine to babysit the other day; and was telling me how he has had to get a second job in a takeaway in the evening to afford his driving lessons.

I mentioned this to my friend the other day and she told me it was because she is losing over £300 a month from their universal credit because of him dropping out and taking the apprenticeship so she “needs to make it back”

Aibu to think that charging your, still a child son, to live at home is just not right? Tbh it’s made me see my friend in a new money grubbing light; and is making me reconsider the friendship.

This is unreasonable - poor kid

I think that if I was really desperate I might charge £200 and keep buying phone ext for him. That way I would be £100 helping me get used to not having the child support in a year's time. If I could manage without I wouldn't charge anything at all during an apprenticeship but would make him responsible for own phone ext. Kids in college often get massive financial support from parents ...not always because they can afford it but because parents are stretching themselves to help with their kid's future. Know not always possible but speaking from experience. Dd did uni living at home. She took a part time shop job which provided her pocket money bus fares ext but didn't have to pay us anything for living at home. We were certainly not rich. Dad a process worker in a factory and I was also at uni so quite tough. Not thinking he should pay nothing if mum struggling but think £400 is definitely steep.

That way I would be £100 down. [missed the word down out]

Why can't he move out I moved out at 16.

400 is WAY too excessive! 100 max.
Is she sure about the UC? Apprenticeship is still an education, isn't it?

Unpopular opinion but if you don't want to support your kids for life, why have them in the first place!?

There's unpopular and there's downright ridiculous - are you seriously saying that no one should have a child unless they can guarantee that they will have the resources to support that child for ever?

I can see the parents POV although it sounds like they're trying to 'teach him a lesson' or aren't happy that he dropped out.
£400 does sound excessive if he's taking home £468 like someone suggested might be an apprentice wage. If he's taking home like £600 then this figure is not too bad.

If they desperately need it to pay bills ( if the household is losing money) then I would charge him the £300.

It does seem unfair. Your friend says she needs £300 to make up what she's lost but charges him £400. He won't be earning much.

He is old enough at 17 to leave home in the UK as long as he can support himself. In his position I'd look for student digs/house, good hostel).

She will be in for a shock if he decides to move out. 300 may be a lot to lose but she would be losing it anyway when he left school. My eldest is charged 50 a week, he is 23 and had to move back from uni. This boy sounds like he has his head screwed on, he left college for an apprenticeship, he isnt sat on his ass. He may as well and go for a house share which can be less than he is paying her

I thought you could still get UC if children did apprenticeships?
Anyway, I'm in a similar situation. If my child leaves school he HAS to contribute to enable US to keep our home.
I'd love to be in a position to not take money or do the MN favourite which is to save it and give it back to them but such is life. If he can stay in education until I qualify in my chosen profession he'll probably have an easier ride

My MIL used to charge my oh an obscene amount. Even on apprenticeship wage. My mum and dad didnt charge us till we were full time and even then was £25 a week which i felt was reasonable x

Surely a couple should be able to support themselves by working, and not be relying on their DCs to support them? If she doesn’t work I’d be suggesting she get her lazy arse out there and get herself a job.

and he's got a second job for money. Hopefully he should go far!

@ThrowAwayQP

Northernsoullover and what will you do if they leave school and move out? Its a bit unreasonable to make your DC responsible for keeping your home?

Anyone who is in the position that needs their child to pay for what they lose in benefits when they become working adults needs to have a plan for the future in place as surely can’t be going to rely on them staying home forever and top up the family income.
In this case £400 is unreasonable if he is only earning £3.90 ph.

I know a parent who takes the full wage from her adult working child and gives her back pocket money. She is 19 and working a minimum wage job but her mum still takes about 95% of her wages. If she want to go out then she has to still ask her mums permission and for extra pocket money to spend. I don’t know how long she will put up with this as I would be long gone already.

Dontsweat that is shocking example of financial abuse.

OP your friend is charging way too much, poor kid. Apprentices are paid so little while they are training it's a really unfair amount to charge. Viewing your child as a way to make £300 per month whilst at college is awful p, let alone then charging him £400 is outrageous. Children are not there to make a profit from. Shocking financial abuse too.

I had to do this at 16. My mum's boyfriend moved in and didn't make up the financial loss. I had a part time job which should have been for clothes and social stuff etc. Instead she took most of it and I was always broke. She didn't use any of it to get clothes or bus pass for me etc. I ended up leaving school to work full time because I was so tired of having no money. I still resent her for it.

This is why I joined the forces at 17, charging for what it costs to feed is one thing but £400 is far too much. They need to work out how they will survive if they are reliant on his wage. This will be trouble for them in the future.

It’s not just that he will be paying his bills, he’ll be costing less presumably. He won’t need ‘pocket money’ travel costs, phone, clothes etc. So even though she’s losing £300 it wouldn’t be unreasonable to ask him for say £200 and let him pay his own things. She’d still probably break even.

That is way out of line poor kid. He is obviously trying to make a career for himself. Perhaps the parents should get a second job to replace the benefits

I would certainly charge him for his keep as he is working but I think £400 is way too much. I would probably charge £150 per calendar month.

I would also check the deduction from UC was calculated correctly as it seems a lot. Do DWP calculate UC based on total household income?

Well done to him for getting a part time evening job to pay for driving lessons.

@aweedropofsancerre I'll downsize accordingly. I'm not being an arse I just can't afford to live in a 3 bed house. My son isn't responsible for keeping a roof over our heads. I rent a property that suits our needs. One less at home I'll need a smaller property.