AIBU not to give my DD (16m) anything else for dinner

[MeadowHay]

She's a fairly fussy eater and often only eats certain components of a meal. This evening she went to her high chair, signalling hunger, and cried the whole time I was heating her dinner (leftovers). I gave it to her and she picked off a few chunks of a veg she likes (it's a soup) and refused to eat any more and threw a huge tantrum. She has eaten this soup fine before a few weeks ago but she is getting fussier and fussier as time goes on. I absolutely do not want to reinforce this by making her an alternative dinner and then having to continue doing this when she learns she can get away with it. But I feel awful at the thought of her going to bed hungry with her being so small.

More of a WWYD really.

Solidarity meadowhay - and I've also seen that attitude a lot, so you're right that it's not some cruel outlier. I do think there's a difference between giving them some bread or a bowl of Weetabix and giving them chips every night, though!

Also, I totally know that he's not big enough to be manipulative, but he does know that there is food that he'd rather have and I do think he's sometimes holding out for that. The other day at my parents' house he refused his dinner entirely but as soon as he got down he started pointing insistently at the cupboard where they keep biscuits!

We always find DS eats well-unless tired or overly hungry.
We constantly now have a stash of little cheese sticks/babybel type snacks which I often give at the first sign of hunger, before the proper dinner a little later. Or mini platters, with a small sandwich, some fruit and veg sticks, a couple crisps, sliced boiled egg etc.
We do similar for breakfast with dry cereal, fruit, yoghurt, toast sometimes too-finding a choice works well.
He’s captain independent, so it needs to be stuff he feels ‘in control of’ To eat.
Have you tried her with things like bread sticks and a pot of homous. Do you let her feed herself the soup etc?
DS is currently absolutely mad for smaller things. I.e the tins of beans with little sausages in, boiled egg and soldiers. Anything he can do/spoon himself. Or anything messy. Chinese noodles with his hands, you’d think it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted.
He also loves ‘picking’ his own food. So can eat me under the table at the likes of a Pizza Hut buffet & salad bar.

When all else fails. Try really cold sliced melon/watermelon/pineapple etc from the fridge. It could be teething or a sore throat or whatever and these are easy to eat and comforting for her.

Good luck-and don’t stress. She will eat. Just make it fun and let her feel in control

Yes she mostly self feeds. I tend to give loaded spoons as she struggles to spoon stuff herself and then tries to eat soup, porridge etc with her hands, not a huge problem but easier, quicker and less messy with loaded spoons. I tend to do that and she feeds herself then when she's eaten half of it or whatever j will give her the bowl to eat with her hands too. Anything that isn't mushy/liquidy I just give her her plate and she eats with her hands. She likes noodles too

Difficult to know when/if she's hungry tho as she doesn't seem to be able to regulate her appetite well. She ate so much she vomited a few weeks ago, I felt awful. She will eat and eat and eat certain fruits, cake etc and will shout and cry if you stop her sometimes.

Lisa yes DD is only 16m but she will now point at her snack shelf in the larder or point at the fridge and cry if she wants food and this includes wanting different food. I don't even give her alternatives as such (until today!?) but you're right she still knows where other food is. I only very recently started letting her into the kitchen sometimes and I feel like I regret that now!

I've just found the thread "Why won't my child eat?" in the parenting section and I think lots of the replies on there are the opposite of what I had on this thread. It's so weird.

Lisa have you tried a child sized chair and table? That's what Janet Lansbury advises (I am very into her this time around!) I haven't used this one myself as DS2 is quite happy in his high chair but it might be worth a shot?

Yeah mumsnet can be a bit like that sometimes. The first few replies on a thread seem to set the tone one way or another and you get a total echo chamber effect. I haven't seen that one active tonight, was it a recent one?

It seems much more like this than it used to be. I think because in the past you'd generally see every thread (thereabouts) if you were on all evening whereas now it's so busy you only ever see a cross section and keep coming back to the same ones so you get totally different posters on different threads.

If you like the advice on the other thread I wouldn't think there's much harm in following that either.

I haven't Bertie - I'm a bit reluctant because I really like us all sitting round one table for dinner, and also because I don't know where we'll put an extra little table! I should probably get over it and try it though - that's what he does at nursery and the childminder's house, so it probably is what he would prefer.