Carer turning up early

[redwitch5]

Hi, don't know if this is the right forum for this but here we are.
I have carers 4 times a week to help with showering and in the mornings. I do my grocery shop on one of those mornings, and the carer that does that and the next morning always turns up early. I'm usually still having breakfast! I know I get up late most mornings, but still, early is early, and I am trying to get up earlier.
I'm sure she's just trying to be helpful, but you'd think that if she turns up, and I haven't finished breakfast, that would tell her she's coming too early, help! Is there a polite and non-confrontational way to let her know this is getting frustrating? I don't like a scene, and her dog just died over last weekend

Yeah, so early is okay then. Right, so just to say that DM and I have worked out to get me up earlier on "shower days". I would just like to point out that I'm not lazy, getting up later than everyone else. I can't sleep well, usually don't fall asleep until about 3 am. No one said "lazy" on here but just pointing it out, no judgey on my part, just pointing ountness, in case someone asks

Um, someone mentioned SN thread? Should this go there? How would I move it there?

I really think that the fact this is in NZ should have been mentioned in the first post.

RB68 No you can't specify that. ( 5 mins either side!! ) 😮😮 They will usually notify if care office is aware carer is running more than 30 mins early or late, or longer if a block one. It's not OP's contract, it's a public service funded one. (And few care agencies would sign up even a private client who had that level of unreasonable expectations, or would give them notice after a few unsuccessful chats if it became problematic)

redwitch5 you've had some good advice on here from multiple PPs (it's easy to spot other professionals in the field) . 15 mins early is pretty "spot on time". Your care agency will already going to great effort achieve that, and you have an action plan how to deal with your practicalities around it, that you've come up with.

You don't need to get this moved, unless you really need to prevent having other unhelpful unrealistic suggestions from those who would happily encourage you to waste scarce public resources, or those that might be rude to you. Aibu isn't great for that, but you've had an usually helpful level of knowledgeable posters in the mix here already.

"An unusually .." not " an usually. "

vivacian
The specific legislation will be different but principles in community care in NZ , Aus etc are fairly similar to UK with respect to this aspect

So advice to take the personal budget and to employ a PA directly would be just as relevant in NZ @WillLokiereturn ?

vivacian I wouldn't want to be drawn into appearing to advise in any way on NZ's direct payments system (tho's NZ has Individualized Funding DPs), my generic comments were limited to 'may' find employing a personal assistant directly gives more control over care call arrivals (if PA doesn't have numerous clients) as another PP suggested that. Options of alternative care models would be for OP to explore with her caseworker, as multiple issues.

My comments were general about (public funded) care agency logistics, which have similar generic wider picture issues. The nub of which is detailed above.

Can you put the coffee in a flask and the milk in a jug that you can have when the carer is done?

@WillLokireturn I was just referring to your point that the fact that OP is in NZ wasn’t as relevant information as I felt it was.

vivacian I didnt say it wasn't relevant, I said principles in community care in NZ , Aus etc are fairly similar to UK with respect to this aspect -hence my wording!- to point out ' it wasn't entirely inapplicable. (Eeek I 'd thought your question on your last but one post had been genuine!)

OP If you want your thread moved just report your own message (click "report" where it says

Add message | Report | Message poster

and ask them in the "report" to move to www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnetters_with_sn or www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs_chat or similar.

But only if this thread is not helping you. You're not at all obliged to move the thread! You can post where you want.

When I worked for a care assistant for Social Services we could guarantee a time it was just not possible. The families I used to visit really didn’t like this but there wasn’t anything that can be done. Sometimes I’d get a call saying a person had just been discharged from hospital and could I fit them in. Other times an emergency happened it I’d have to wait for an ambulance. I usually had 11 people to visit in the morning. Now I do care work privately and arrive at exactly the pre arranged time as can arrange my own schedule.

Doesn't matter where the carer is coming from, when her other clients are, whether she is being paid for travel (some only get mileage) or any other lame excuse that several of you here have come up with, she is scheduled to arrive at X time, and stay for X length of time. If she gets there early, she bides her time in her car until her scheduled time.

If you know one of your carers will be earlier than the others, can't you wait to have breakfast until after her visit, OP? No, she can't and shouldn't have to.

The op, being the customer, is the one who dictates times, not the carer.

If the carer is from a specific company op, call her line manager and tell them this is an ongoing issue. If she is independent, be honest and say she is arriving to early, and it's inconvenient. In future, refuse to let her in until the scheduled time.

FWIW, I work in an environment where I schedule carers days, and the care we offer is consumer directed. In other words, the consumer decides timings etc, and carers would be reprimanded for continuing to turn, and wanting to access the consumer's home early, because as op said, it makes them feel rushed and uncomfortable.

@redwitch5 So just to understand, 10-15 minutes is an okay thing? You really need to ask the office. No one really can answer this here, as they are UK based, and things vary. In my company, being 10-15 minutes early is not OK, because some of the clients need the predictability of knowing when carers are going to arrive. Some of our clients do no like opening the door, so being as on time as possible is paramount.

@DonKeyshot I appreciate your point but don't think I'd be too fussed over 10-15 minutes either way Timings are very important to people who rely on others for their care. This is op's routine, she needs to know that her carer will turn up when requested, it offers predictability, routine, and a relaxed situation. Turning up early, or late causes those things to fail, and the unpredictability for some is not a nice place to be.

Op IS worried about timings, and as such you "not being fussed" isn't really the point here.

@Mummyoflittledragon I think it’s difficult to arrive at an exact time especially during rush hour True, so she sits outside, in her car and catches up on admin/checks notes/etc. It's not fair on OP being unsettled and disturbed because the carer is early.

@Sostenueto But carers are allowed to be 15 mins early or late In which case that should have been explained to op, and it doesn't sound like it has been.

different not every carer has a car. Some bike, use public transport or walk. And what do you think happens to all modes of transport in 3 foot of snow like 2 years ago? Would the carer be expected to arrive at exact time then or stand out in the snow if no car? Or if the client before the visit had decided to pass away during night? Be realistic FFS!

@Sostenueto Yes, carer is still expected to keep to their time as closely ass possible. However, all our carers have cars, it's a requirement of the job role.

No need for the FFS, And I am realistic. As I said, I schedule carer's days for a living. We work with older people, and most of them will not answer the door if the worker is early because they do not like opening the door. Being on time is hugely important to our customers, and it is doable.

Sorry you're getting stressed but I'm a carer and regularly start my first call 10 minutes early. You may not see it (or care) but I have 6 clients after you with only a 20 minute break in 8 solid hours. It only takes one or two people being slow for that break to go completely. 10 extra minutes can make the difference between break or no break.
FWIW I have a client whose live in relative complains if I even pull up on their driveway early. I end up waiting in the car round the corner. He was quite happy for her call to overrun and get care for free though.
It's the way the care system works. Our company has recently been taken over and we've had our weekend pay cut, are expected to work Christmas day for no extra pay and not allowed to have any working weekends off at all.
That's why I'm getting out of this sector. As are many of my colleagues

Ex community carer here.
It might just be the way her rota works.
Ide have clients
9-9.15
9.15-10
10-11
11-11.30
then ide have 30 minutes until my lunches started at 12.
I wouldn't get any time for travel so your carer is probably just trying to make up time.
If that doesn't suit you just speak to the company. They may be able to swap your times around.
Also I'm not sure but check your care package we could come within an hour of our time. This is due to if we have to pick other calls up if people are off sick etc.
As the service user they will try to accommodate you. Hope this helps.

Hey, so just an update if anyone wants it. I was up earlier this week and had good time for breakfast before she turned up. Hope I can keep this up. As long as I've had breakfast and it has time to settle a bit I'm good.
(what happens when food doesn't have time to settle is a whole other story, trust me)

That's great, redwitch.

At some point in the future you may be living alone or organising carers for one of your parents and learning to deal with situations that have the potential to cause you stress can only be of benefit to you.

Tweaking your routine to ensure that you remain first on the carer's list was a great idea and I hope you able to stick to your new regime.

Here's to an early morning coffee...