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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think there are benefits to not being on social media?

73 replies

Mcbj86 · 31/10/2019 20:45

Just that really.

What are the benefits (if any) of not using social media.

Personal experiences welcome

OP posts:
EleanorReally · 01/11/2019 05:14

Time

billandbenflowerpotmen1 · 01/11/2019 05:22

I feel a greater sense of contentment and gratitude with the life I actually have. I was becoming discontent, jealous and also stressed reading who'd done what on FB
It was the best thing I've done for my own mental health

filka · 01/11/2019 05:31

Huge waste of time, also why do you want to display your life to the whole world - or anyone, really?

DonKeyshot · 01/11/2019 05:32

I've never been on social media.

I sometimes read the odd tweet if my attention is drawn to it through other media sources or this site, but I don't have any accounts of my own and have no intention of changing that happy situation at any time.

In short, I don't have time for it and I don't see the point of it. If I want to know what friends/family/acquaintances are up to I email or call them.

duckme · 01/11/2019 05:38

@billandbenflowerpotmen1
I think you have got the nail right on the head. Everything you have wrote, I feel. I feel constant jealousy and bitterness and guilt and irritation. I feel like a shit mom because my kids hate crafting so we don't get the #craftafternoonwiththeseguys photos. I feel irritation when people post political views that I don't agree with. I'm in a constant state of jealousy when I really have no rights or need to feel jealous. I'm happy with my life until I see what other people have or are doing. It honestly brings out the worst in me. I'm not a stupid person, I know that most of these posts are set up and it probably took about 13 attempts to get that perfect photo, but it still makes me feel inadequate.
Plus, Facebook now has the marketplace so my house is filling up of crap and my bank balance is suffering.
I really wish I had the guts to just delete the lot, but I've got so many lovely photos on there and I do enjoy the time hop element of it.....

surlycurly · 01/11/2019 05:38

I wish I didn't have it. I makes me lose respect for people that I like as I see how banal or petty they can be as they share areas of their life that I think they shouldn't. And knowing they probably think the same about me just breeds insecurity and detachment. I have several friends I no longer visit because there doesn't seem to be a need to as they know what I'm up to and vice versa. I miss the physical presence of them.

GeorgiaGirl52 · 01/11/2019 05:39

Privacy

Cuckoobananas · 01/11/2019 06:05

As a previous poster said, being happy with what i have and i am no longer comparing myself to others.

Weekday28 · 01/11/2019 06:16

I had social media for years but stopped about 18 months ago. I am happier as I don't compare my life to others, which means I have made decisions with what works for us instead of what other people might think. I dont share any photos of my children which when you stop you realise it's a total invasion of their privacy to be sharing their life without consent.

There are down sides like not knowing about upcoming events in our area but school tends to email things and people talk about it at work so we dont miss much.

Bluesheep8 · 01/11/2019 06:20

I read this somewhere recently and for me it's so true:
" once we kept diaries where we wrote all the details of our lives and inner thoughts. We would have been mortified if anyone took and read that diary. Now we write it all on Facebook and are mortified when people DON'T read it"
I've never had facebook btw

Countryescape · 01/11/2019 06:20

There is no benefit to being on social
Media! Aside from making you feel envious and that your life isn’t good enough. You are definitely not being unreasonable.

Wildcat88 · 01/11/2019 06:21

I take regular breaks from social media and feel better for it. I find that I have more to chat about with friends and family as I haven't seen everything they're up to already!

Pukeworthy · 01/11/2019 06:21

There are no benefits TO social media.

Crotchgoblins · 01/11/2019 06:27

I waste a huge amount of time and end up checking facebook whilst doing things like boiling the kettle to make a cuppa rather than looking out the window and enjoying the garden etc or just thinking. Doesn't sound much but those moments of downtime are good to just clear your mind.

@duckme I don't feel a sense of inadequacy from it as I know it is a 'showcase' of the best moments of people's lives and highly filtered, but if I did I would delete it straight away. I think social media is designed to make you compare and feel bad. No one puts their child tantruming or their messy house on. Print out your lovely photos, put them on your wall, enjoy them everyday and back away from social media!

I know someone who posts lots about stuff her childs fantastic homework, how fantastic they are, loads of smug family loved up pictures to the point I find it a bit saccharine. I then found out the couple had seperated and were under social services for investigation if how they treat the child. The poor child was traumatised after such a difficult time. I think the pictures and posts are sometimes put on due to try and convince the world life is rosy when it far from it!

Applesanbananas · 01/11/2019 06:29

I have social media - FB and Instagram. I'm not active on there at all. But I find it invaluable for finding out information in our area, I'm part of many groups, helpful activities for my toddler etc.
If SM is affecting your life such that you become jealous, angry, bitter over other peoples lives, then that's more about you.

Useruseruserusee · 01/11/2019 06:29

I came off about 2 years ago and have never regretted it.

I have kept in touch with everyone I would want to keep in touch with and actually see/ text close friends more regularly. I’m happier now I’m not comparing my life to other people’s.

ColaFreezePop · 01/11/2019 06:33

A mixture of what previous posters said. I've caught people I've worked where we have done exactly the same thing not telling the truth on their social media accounts as I don't post on my accounts they aren't caught out.

Fastandfree · 01/11/2019 06:35

I got ride of social media in haste a while ago. I didn't post loads but did post pics on Instagram. 6m down the line I'm gutted as I've lost some brilliant pictures. I got facebook back as a means to see what was happening in the area but indont go on every day

Fastandfree · 01/11/2019 06:35

Meant to add limiting use has been good for my mental health

ShakeAndSnatch · 01/11/2019 06:36

You all know that mn is social media, right?

How can you be commentating on a forum saying you don't use social media 😂

araiwa · 01/11/2019 06:38

There are costs and benefits to being on social media and also not

Up to you which are more important to you

Fuckenstein · 01/11/2019 06:41

I have deleted my social media accounts in the last few days. I found it difficult the first day as I kept reaching for my phone just to scroll out of habit!

I am hoping to spend less time looking at my phone and more time interacting with the people around me.

zen1 · 01/11/2019 06:45

The only social media I’m on is WhatsApp and Mumsnet. I’ve never seen the attraction of plastering my life / thoughts all over Instagram / Twitter / Facebook and I have no interest in looking at those platforms to see what anyone else is up to. I have friends who are addicted to them and are constantly checking their acccounts. If I want to catch up with people, I’ll meet with them or drop them a text or email. I have two teens and neither of them are on any social media at all, which I’m very relieved about.

Ginfordinner · 01/11/2019 06:48

As there is no phone signal in DD's room at university I am thankful that we are able to stay in contact via Messenger.

SimonJT · 01/11/2019 06:54

I use MN obviously, apart from that I only use instagram, it’s a private account with just close friends added, although I follow a few accounts like bake off etc.

I did have a few bad incidents a few years ago, my partner at the time copied my story onto his story without covering my username. It was up less than five minutes before he changed it but enough people had seen it to copy it and so then came hundreds of requests, and hundreds and hundreds of comments, I only read a handful, most were nice, some were vile. It didn’t bother me, but I can see how some people would have found it very upsetting.