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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think there are benefits to not being on social media?

73 replies

Mcbj86 · 31/10/2019 20:45

Just that really.

What are the benefits (if any) of not using social media.

Personal experiences welcome

OP posts:
MaryBoBary · 01/11/2019 07:00

I stopped using social media 3 months ago after it caused a huge row in my family. I feel genuinely content now. For the first time in a long time I feel so happy with my life that I genuinely don't care what people I vaguely know are posting on social media. I just don't care and I feel so liberated for it. I would have deleted my accounts completely but I like to still have access to the photos I have on there. It is the best thing I've done and has as others have said, stopped me feeling envious of others which is such an ugly way to feel.

Morgan12 · 01/11/2019 07:14

I liked that noone knew I had had my son except my family and my friends. It was funny meeting people with him and them asking who's baby it was.

Also done wonders for my mental health.

EleanorReally · 01/11/2019 07:23

my dc also communicate via messenger

however there are people on fb who undoubtedly give me the rage, anti Corbyn, pro brexit idiots, I should just delete them

Frazzlerock · 01/11/2019 07:24

It has helped my mental health massively.

I stopped using FB and Instagram as there were constant pregnancy announcements and births which I found incredibly painful given I've had 3 MCs in the past 3 years plus suffering sub-fertility.
People were popping them out like it was the easiest thing in the world and I was becoming a horribly jealous and bitter shitbag, and I was deteriorating fast with awful anxiety.

The one thing that bothers me is that everyone expects you to have seen stuff on social media that they've posted. For instance, I am on a Messenger chat with a group of local friends and they talk about stuff that I'm clueless about. I have to ask them what they're on about half the time, and they say "keep up Frazzle!", but then I discover that
what they're talking about was on FB Hmm

I think people have lost a sense of real life, I know I had. I just want to talk to someone without something from FB or Instagram being brought into the conversation.

Mumofone1962 · 01/11/2019 07:28

More time, less drama, not taking photos when you are out with the idea of social media!

footballmum · 01/11/2019 07:29

I recently had a social media detox and found that I used my time much more productively. I also think it is much better for your mental health-no comparing your life to others.

But It also made me realise how it has become ingrained in daily life and how we’ve become reliant upon it. For example, my kids are in clubs that communicate via social media platforms, school also uses it a lot. I realized how much I rely upon it for birthdays of distant relatives and acquaintances. I was also looking for a local beautician and practically none have websites but all have Facebook pages! I ended up going back on it just for the information side of it but it has done me good as I am definitely using it less.

Drogosnextwife · 01/11/2019 07:30

Yes, no one knows a single thing about me, and I don't need to see any of the shite they post.

Northernsoullover · 01/11/2019 07:31

I love my social media (only Facebook though) and its useful for finding out things to do with my interests. I'm in a few online support groups which I would find life difficult without. However, outside of these I waste far too much time look at the banal and trivial on there. Sometimes I wish I didn't have it (that I'd never signed up) getting rid of it now would be difficult.
I don't believe all the crap on there though and I don't post crap either.

Drogosnextwife · 01/11/2019 07:31

Oh and Im 29 and have NEVER had social media, even the days of MSN etc when I was about 14. Still wasn't interested.

doldrums13 · 01/11/2019 07:37

I came off Facebook in the summer and while for other reasons I'm not feeling the best, I love having the space from people that I should have lost touch with.

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 01/11/2019 07:42

I love Facebook. It helps me stay in touch with friends and family all over the world (I live in Oz, so far away from family) and I love to see everyone's photos. My mum is in Greece at the minute, and its great to see her holiday photos! It also makes me laugh a lot, my friends are a funny bunch and some of the shit they post is hilarious! I don't get the angst about it, if someone annoys me, I just block them. And another plus side is that I have won loads of stuff on Facebook, including a 5 star hotel stay, a huge box of Easter eggs, and festival tickets. So, different strokes etc. My teenage son isn't on it, he says FB is for old people, and he's probably right.If you don't like it, don't use it, but its just plain wrong to say it has no redeeming features.

lazylinguist · 01/11/2019 07:43

I don't seem to have some of the problems some people have with social media - no toxic relationships, no lifestyle envy. The two things that bother me about it are the wasting of time (actually far more on MN than on FB or Instagram for me) and the worrying level of influence that big media corporations like FB and Google have over individuals and society.

Ginfordinner · 01/11/2019 07:47

Neither do I lazy
I don't have thousands of "friends" on FB, and am only friends with people I want to be.
I can unfollow (not unfriend) people who post boring stuff. I use FB, it doesn't use me.

TemporaryName123 · 01/11/2019 07:48

It’s my dream to not be on social media! But I am a social media manager as a job so I can’t not be on it. But honestly I do hate and the pressure to check it etc.

historysock · 01/11/2019 07:54

Is I've a friend who has ditched social media-which is all well and good and I can see why she has. But she then doesn't make the effort in other ways to stay in touch with people and has become a bit isolated as a result. So it swings both ways for me. I would like to come off it all I think. Not least because I find it quite addictive and that can never be a good thing. But I also don't want to end up missing out on things or failing to stay in touch with people.

LoyaltyBonus · 01/11/2019 07:56

MN is actually most harmful to me, it's here that I find all the disatisfactions and insecurities, plus a terrible time hoover, but I come back, usually because I have a practical problem that I know MNetters will have the answer to, so it does serve a purpose too.

I find FB ok. My friends list is well curated and I don't see much bitterness, or "my life is better than yours" posts and I can easily hide posts from people who are annoying or upsetting. It's a nice way to keep in touch with what's going on in friends lives and I find that if I don't follow it, I don't know things I "should" know. It's also much improved my social life. Before I was on FB, I was only aware of social events organised by very close friends. Now, people from a couple of clubs I belong to will post about events and ask who fancies joining them. It also very good for local knowledge.

So, on balance, I think FB has improved my life, although I do occasionally acknowledge I'm getting too involved in one of the groups I belong to and have a break.

Kaykay06 · 01/11/2019 08:02

I have twitter but I don’t use it, I deleted Facebook but kept messenger. Absolutely do not miss it, it’s utter rubbish. My sister now sends me pics of the kids.
We managed to keep in touch before social media and I will again if people are important enough to us we will.

TheMarzipanDildo · 01/11/2019 08:09

I don’t use anything other then MN-just have no interest in it.

Pinkblueberry · 01/11/2019 08:20

I agree that you probably have more time and more satisfaction in real life experiences. I sometimes find myself scrolling through FB while watching tv and then realised I’ve missed bits that I’m watching and what I’ve been looking at on FB hasn’t even been interesting Confused social media used to be better I think for sharing experiences and communicating with people. Now it’s a lot of advertisements and baby spam and just random videos/memes and pictures of people’s dinner Hmm

DickAmbush · 01/11/2019 08:27

I rarely bother with social media. It's a waste of life. DH drives me nuts with it - any spare second he's got, he's scrolling through it mindlessly instead of having an actual conversation.

I know a woman who regularly posts about her son, who has significant physical disabilities. She'll often post stuff like 'DS shit the bed again last night ffs' - this kid is in his early teens, and fully able to read the awful things she posts about him. She has no respect at all for his privacy, or his dignity.

SafetyAdvice0FeedWhenAgitated · 01/11/2019 08:35

If you were the type of person who doesn't like others' boasts or even gets upset over posts, then there are obviously massive benefits to not having SM. Or if you were spending way too much time on it. There is no point making yourself feel bad when you don't have to.

However, as one pp pointed out, you can miss quite a lot. I actually got my own Twitter now because there are things going on in my area and they are discussed on Twitter with the people affected raising awareness and getting support. I follow local artists, parks and businesses on IG and have only about 50 friends on FB which are my close friends and family incl DH's. I enjoy their boasts a out their achievements and they enjoy mine. We don't see each other more than once a year so it's nice to keep in touch.

Also, I am not afraid to tell people who ask to connect that it's nothing personal, but it's a no. No one actually had a problem with it.

SM can be horrible or great. Depends on how a person uses it.

BTW I really don't think WhatsApp is SM. It's like saying normal texting is SM...

Greatorb · 01/11/2019 08:41

It's quite ironic the amount of posters using social media to insist that they don't use social media Grin

Ginfordinner · 01/11/2019 09:08

Indeed Greatorb Grin

I have found my local Facebook pages to be such a useful resource - selling DD's old toys, obtaining recommendations for local tradesmen, finding out about local events. I just don't have toxic people on my friends list, and quite frankly don't undertsand people who do. Just ufollow them and you won't see their posts. It isn't difficult. They won't even know that you have unfollowed them as they still have you on their friends list.

My SIL won't use Facebook, then gets miffed that I know stuff about her family that she doesn't. It's because we keep in touch via Messenger.

I think some people cut their noses off to spite their faces out of some high minded, superior principle.

As I said earlier - use social media sensibly. Don't let it use you.

billandbenflowerpotmen1 · 01/11/2019 10:32

You all know that mn is social media, right?
Really? I'm not sure. I think of MN as an anonymous forum of mostly women discussing various topics
I've always thought of SM as non discussion on the whole and certainly not anonymous or it wouldn't make sense . More of a putting your life out there for everyone to see or comment on ( rather than discuss)

Tbug · 01/11/2019 10:34

I used to be obsessed then got rid for a month and that was a year ago, I feel so much happier without it, no pressure to do things or feel inferior!