...to ask DH not to interrupt bedtime?

[broceaulys]

I’m on mat leave with baby twins and also have a toddler. Most of the time DH doesn’t get home before the kids are in bed but when he does he always comes up to “help” but ends up over-exciting the kids and bedtime takes three times as long. I can’t leave him to it because I’m still BF the babies.

If he comes home and hears that bedtime is underway I would like him to stay downstairs rather than coming up. He thinks I’m “robbing him of a chance to spend time with the children.”

It’s only about 2 nights a week. The rest of the time he misses it entirely.

Yup YABU it's hard being the working parent and missing out on time with your children.

Let him get on with it but tell him he has to do the whole bedtime - if he works them up and gets them excited he has to stick it out up there until they fall asleep

Not enough info....I.e. are babies asleep for the night when they go down, or wake multiple times. Are you getting enough time to di what you need ir does him coming in delay you an hour and therefore baby diesnt sleeo well and you are late for bed when akready tired. Mine don't sleep well if excited before bed for example. If thats the case yanbu. Tiring having twins and toddler, much more tiring than being at work for the day.

However sad being at work missing babies, so as everyone says maybe try quiet story time and cuddles. See if this works.

I think he should go and see them but is not allowed to excite them. I'd be massively pissed off it bedtime was prolonged by so much just because of dh coming in and exciting my dd, instead of being all calm. What has your dh said when you've asked him to be calm and unexciting?

Yabu

Well, you are OP. He won't get that time back, sounds like he works a fair bit, so suck it up and cut him some slack.

He thinks I’m “robbing him of a chance to spend time with the children.”

He thinks right, you are. Certainly have a discussion about winding down rather than exciting the children but to ask him not to come up to see the children is pretty sad, for the children and their father.

YUBVVU He wants to see his kids.
You'd be on here whinging if he came home and didn't even say hi to you and the children as if he didn't care.
You can't have it both ways.

YABU, it's 2 nights a week, I don't understand this precious THE ROUTINE MUST BE DONE THIS WAY approach to parenting, it's always the same mothers who wonder why the dads don't do anything!