To be upset by being told to f*** off by my dp?

[Kaylasmum49]

My relationship with my dp is extremely rocky, we argue a lot. Sometimes about petty things but also about more serious issues. Nearly every time at some point in the arguement he tells me to f* off. It upsets me and i've told him this but still he does it! Am I being pathetic to get upset over this?

While i'm grateful for all the helpful replies I didn't post on here to be insulted and made out to be a bad parent.

I am a 53 year old mother of 5 and have always tried to do the best for my children. Just out of interest, how many of you have been in my situation? The financial side of things are a huge worry for me, I already stated that I have applied for a multitude of jobs but without much success. I also explained why it would be difficult to work full-time given the fact that I have to spend so much time in school with my ds. It's the schools decision to have me there with my ds, he spends 1-2 hours there a day.

While I don't doubt that our relationship is having a detrimental effect on my ds he is almost definitely autistic which is linked with anxiety. I also want to add that we try to shield the dcs as much as possible from our relationship issues. My ds has had problems with leaving me since he was about 2 year old, our relationship problems became an issue a few years into our relationship.

For the person who asked if I spend 18 hours a week on housework, I don't add it up but if you look at cooking meals every day, clothes washing, ironing, shopping and cleaning the house I think it's a considerable amount of time. At best my dp puts out the bins, hoovers once a week and washes dishes very occasionally. So, he probably does 5%.

I left an abusive marriage, and many women on MN have also left, which is why we advise you to leave him, and we do know just how hard it is to leave.

Children do pick up on abuse, no matter how you try to hide it.

@Kaylasmum49 if your DS spends 1-2hrs a day at school does that mean you’re there the entire time he attends per day? No judgment, just want to understand how long you are at school with your son each day

Yes I am there every day with him, this is the plan that has been made for him by the support teachers, educational psychologist etc. He has just started his first year in secondary school. In primary school his attendance was very poor and he would have huge meltdowns in school in the mornings because he didn't want to leave me. He had to wear ear defenders and can't cope with large crowds. I'm concerned about his schooling but I am doing everything I can.

Another thing to add is that my dp had a serious head injury when he was 21. He had a lot of serious mental health issues due to this and had to be sectioned on two occasions. I'm not making excuses but this does have an impact on his behaviour and I think this is the reason I haven't left him before now because I know he is a decent man.