13 year old trick or treating without parents.

[DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou]

Never had a 13 year old before (pfb) so no idea what I'm doing.

He's 13 (JUST!) and wants to go trick or treating with his friends. He usually has to be home before it's dark.

DH is taking the other DC out about 6.30 but 13 yo DC wants to go out at 5pm with his friends because that's what time they are going.
Funnily enough they are the year above so a year older. This is a constant bone of contention.

He says I'm being over protective.

He didn't have to trick and treat with DH, just arrive with DH, go off with his friends and meet DH back and get a lift home safely.
It's the the to and from home part I'm worried about mostly. Busy roads, darkness and not much common sense....

Fuck all common sense actually.

More than once I've seen him walk out in front of cars trying to cross a road, being cocky, not looking. Scooting in a busy road to get past people walking.

There’s a thread onhere about what age is too old for trick and treating.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3729072-When-did-your-DC-grow-out-of-trick-or-treating
I know that you are concerned about your son, but a lot of people find teenagers treat and tricking intimidating.

Yes I agree with that too!! I think it is too old. They aren't there for the fun they are there for the begging.
It changes.

I think 13 is fine! My 8yo is trick or treating with friends tonight. I suppose it depends a bit on what your area is like, but surely a 13yo is ok at 5pm in most places?

He would be fine. Though most people feel uncomfortable with teens knocking, I know it should be fun for all, this is the age you need to have private Halloween parties for early teens to enjoy.

I think 13 is fine too!

Since when did littler kids get the monopoly on a bit of fun?

I disagree. Round here we get teenagers trick or treating and not once have they ever behaved anything but impeccably. There's a bit of a rule that they only knock on houses that are decorated, they don't go out later than all the little ones and their manners are always lovely.

I tend to think if teens want to hold onto a little part of their childhood I'm not going to begrudge them a bag of haribo.

I'd lay down ground rules (and the thing about the road sense would have me furious and making him practise crossing roads holding my hand til he could cross sensibly because that's just laziness and so dangerous) but I'd let him go so long as he could be trusted to behave.

I really don’t think that ‘most people’ are uncomfortable with teens knocking!

If a house is decorated and accepting of trick and treaters then they should be just as welcome as the cute 3 year olds are!

It’s the over bearing mothers dressed up, and pushing their reluctant kids to the front door that I find more alarming tbh

The area is vair naice.

It's the roads I'm worried about. The cars. He's a cocky show off with his friends and I don't trust him not to get squashed. I've seen with my own eyes how stupid he can be.

I just want him to get a lift to and from the area they are going to. And he can go off by himself.

I think it is different though having cute 5 year olds accompanied by parents to groups of teenagers in scream masks. Around here it is very much a primary school activity and tends to be over and done with by about 6pm with kids only going to lit houses with pumpkins. It feels safe and fun because it is controlled and supervised.

It’s normal round here - a gaggle of parents and Young children, and also small groups of younger teens - up to about 14-15. I have no problem at all with it. It’s nice to see them hold on to their childhood for Another year or two, they’re always polite, and most of them have made the effort to dress up a bit. As long as everything is done and dusted by 8pm it’s all good 😊

You're all answering the other thread.

I'm asking whether he's old enough to go out totally himself.

I'm not asking whether he's too old to go
Trick or treating.

That's the other thread.

Follow them around dressed as Friday 13th Jason with the hockey mask. Don't tell DS you're going to. Just follow at a distance and stare.

That made me smile. They would shit themselves.

I think teens are fine, not intimidating. They are beautifully behaved round here.

In which case yes. 13 is fine. On his own. ie without your parental care. He'll be in a group of other 13 year olds. = fine.

My 10 year old ds and his friends are going trick or treating by themselves this year but this only an extension of the freedom he now has when he plays out so it’s not a massive leap. I’ve said he needs to be in for 8pm and I’m trusting them all to be sensible! Luckily I live in a village with old values where other parents aren’t afraid to tell children off if they’re misbehaving or report back to the parent.

I think 13 is absolutely fine if it’s not a rough area and he can be sensible.

I think people should be so biased against teenagers. We have teens trick or treating here and they are perfectly behaved. I can't see any reason why they shouldn't be able to join in with the halloween fun.

A 13 year old trick or treating with friends is completely fine, so long as they know to only to go the 'participating' houses. There will be lots of parents out with the younger DC, so it's not like a 'normal' night.
But sounds like you're more concerned about the traffic in your area? So long as there are footpaths and he crosses properly, surely he should be fine - 13 is more than old enough to be able to know the rules of the road. For me, it would not be a problem at all - but you know your own child best.

I think most 13 year old would be fine but he has proven himself untrustworthy on the roads. I would insist on dropping him off and picking him up and explain exactly why. Maybe he'll stop being such a muppet next to busy roads in the future if he realises there are parental consequences.

He doesn't cross properly. I think that's my beef.
A week ago I saw him walk out in front of a car and have to dart back in.

About 6 meters away from a zebra crossing. 👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻

I've seen stupidness like that before as well.
This area is nice but people speed and it's not well lit.

I can see why you would be concerned if he’s not yet crossing a road safely. Could you take him to the area and pick him back up?

My 10 year old is fantastic crossing roads and being sensible when I’m with him so I had no concerns yet 3 times in the last few weeks I’ve happened to see him when out with the pushchair or driving and he’s messing about near the road or crossing with barely looking! Luckily the roads he’s allowed near are pretty quiet but I understand your concerns,it only takes one I’ll judged moment for an accident to happen.

My ds is 13 and went trick or treating with a friend (unsupervised) for the first time last year. He's doing it again tonight. I am absolutely fine with this but he knows the area well, is sensible with roads and is going with one calm and sensible friend. I can see your worry over the cars, but by 13 he really should be able to go out in the dark without a parent - in the winter it can be dark by 4pm!

I also have no problem at all with teens or even adults trick or treating as long as they have made an effort with a costume and are well behaved. Quite a few go out round here and they are no bother at all, polite and kind to the little kids.

My friends dd is 13. Her dad is going out and hovering. Tell your ds he can go out alone in the dark when he learns to cross roads safely.

My dd is 11 and wanted to go out in a killer clown mask. I told her it would scare the younger kids and refused to buy one. I agree teens frighten the little kids and for that alone he should be supervised.

Maybe next year have a party at yours. If you have the time / money, maybe consider doing an impromptu one tonight.