To ask when you became ok with being unattractive?

[Mysteriocheerios]

I'm 31. I'm not hideous, not beautiful, not 'hot', but not plain. I feel like I spend a lot of my time being ok with it but every now and again I feel down about my looks. Today we went out for the day and someone took some photos. It just makes me sad, that I look like that. I'm overweight, I never have any time or money to spend on my appearance. Honestly I don't worry about it 80% of the time but just sometimes it upsets me.
My friends are nearly all very attractive and sometimes it gets depressing to read all the 'looking hot' comments and mine are just 'you're so funny' or 'you're always so happy.' One particularly beautiful friend commented the other day that 'it must be so great to just not care so much, to not have any anxiety about the way you look.' Except I do. I really do.
When do you become secure with not being a looker? I just want Kathy Burke confidence.

Your friends sound awful OP. I don't drink slimfast and avoid beer and spend ages applying fake tan. My partner would find that hideous

I think people often underestimate how attractive they look, because when you see friends, you see an animated person, smiling , interacting with you. When you look in the mirror you are missing all those things.