I wouldn’t just accept I wasn’t happy with my looks, no. Life is too short, and it’s too simple to make positive changes to feel better about yourself and how you look. I’m not objectively beautiful fresh from the shower, but with a bit of effort I really like the way I look and it’s a great feeling to move through the world knowing I look at my own best, it gives me confidence in how I interact with people.
If you’re genuinely unhappy with how you look, do something to improve it! You mentioned being overweight for example, getting to a healthy weight is one of the main things that can elevate someone from plain or unattractive to attractive, it signifies good health, that you care about yourself and your body, that you are treating yourself well (so you’re worth being taken care of) etc. Clothes fit and hang better, more options for stylish nice clothes available in the shops, you can dress according to what you like rather than just what physical attributes you’re trying to hide or flatter.
Anyone can lose weight barring a serious diagnosed medical condition, and it doesn’t have to cost any more than you already spend on food. If anything I found it was a hell of a lot cheaper losing weight than not as by default I cut out all the spending on junk and takeaways and ate a smaller volume. You don’t have to exercise to lose weight either, just eat at a calorie deficit. My fitness pal is excellent and free. I lost 24lb using it and kept it off.
Being hot is a lot of work. My friends that drink slimfast for lunch everyday whilst I tuck into my leftover curry, my friend who spends every Sunday evening bathing, scrubbing and reapplying her fake tan, my friends that love real ale but will never drink it because calories.
You’re making it sound like doing things to look more attractive are super onerous and unrealistic and out of reach as a way of justifying to yourself doing nothing about how you look (and I’m not saying there’s anything objectively wrong with how you or anyone looks, but you’re clearly unhappy). Not everyone who maintains a healthy weight lives on slimfast 😂 it just takes eating normal sized portions of food, not eating junk and takeouts as a matter of course regularly, people at a healthy weight have treats and alcohol and cake too just don’t go overboard and eat way too much over the course of a week. You don’t have to spend an evening per week in the bath either. I don’t know many people who bother with fake tan.
Get a nice haircut at a local hairdressing college, much cheaper, I spend about £30 every two months on mine. Figure out what makeup suits you if you’re so inclined and look up some YouTube tutorials on attaining a natural look that highlights your features using budget brands (there are some lovely makeup brands very cheap these days). Invest in a cheap skincare routine and stick with it, nothing fancy, Superdrug’s vitamin R range is great and cheap as chips, just use a cleanser each night and moisturiser overnight. Lose the weight and buy a nice piece of clothing each month if you can afford it or charity shops and start figuring out what suits your new figure. Tiny touches like jewellery (yep, cheap jewellery from Primark and Claire’s looks just as put together as anything more expensive) and perfume (again, cheap is great).
If you genuinely don’t feel attractive there’s no reason to just accept it unless that’s what you actively want. I see women every day who probably aren’t objectively stunning if they were fresh out of bed (barely anyone is) but who come across as attractive because they’ve put a bit of effort into their appearance, even if it’s just nice clean straight hair and a bright lipstick. And don’t feel you have to wait until you’ve lost weight to start improving your appearance, make small changes now while you’re shifting the weight and as your confidence improves it’ll spur you on to continue.
Or you can just carry on as you are, up to you. But it’s sad to see a defeatist attitude of ‘how do I accept I’m unattractive’, don’t write yourself off so fast.