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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask how much is enough? (Christmas)

50 replies

letsleepingbabieslie · 30/10/2019 13:51

I love my kids, I want them to be happy and have fun and enjoy Christmas and toys and feel loved and I am not the Grinch....BUT I hate giving them Christmas presents because they just DO. NOT. USE. THEM.
Like all kids (age 5, 8) they love the idea of presents and toys, but in reality they just don't really play with 'stuff'. Every year the presents we (or DGPs) give them cause excitement for one day, and are then ignored for the whole rest of the year. I mean this literally. On a day to day basis what they like to play is mostly 'imaginary' games, chasing their friends, reading a book, etc.
Honestly, the only reason I give them presents is because I know if they don't get them they will feel disappointed and think we don't care or don't love them or something.
So, my question is: how many presents do you give your kids? What's the minimum I can get away with to make them enjoy the excitement of Christmas without creating total waste? DH wants to give them each one book, one DVD and one small toy. I feel like that would be massively disappointing and they'd be upset, but what's the point of giving them stuff which they don't play with?!
Thoughts?

OP posts:
myself2020 · 30/10/2019 13:58

We give one per family unit, so 4 presents per child (parents, 2 sets of grandparents, uncle). at least one of them is a book.
its plenty (and like yours, they are not interested in stuff - i still have wrapped presents from the last birthday party last spring (!) collecting dust

Shooturlocalmethdealer · 30/10/2019 14:03

Dont over do it. You just set a precedent for Christmas to come. I would know. Made the mistake years ago with my 4. Spent thousands of dollars each year. This year I put my foot down said no more I'm done. The youngest is 19. They put up a fuss good heartedly. Adults I'm telling you but they are ok with it. What do they like doing? Give something interactive they wont get bored with quickly. Art supplies, sticker books etc...

ThatMuppetShow · 30/10/2019 14:04

I haven't got a limit either way, but I buy them what they will like.

If your kids are happy with fancy dress, or clothes, or pjs, books, things to do together (using walkie talkie), there's loads you can find.
or tickets to an attraction, annual membership to a farm/ soft play.

I would never buy stuff for the sake of it. Howerver 1 dvd and 1 small toy sounds pretty shit to be honest, I don't really include books in presents. They should be normal not an extra treat.
You might get it wrong, but why buy something you already know won't be used.
If you genuinely think the presents will be a complete waste, add a pack of chocolates or something, but of course don't buy for the sake of buying.

HeyitsPorscha · 30/10/2019 14:08

I have this problem with my two who are the same ages as yours. I'm struggling this year for ideas. I will admit tho that they have a lot of screen time and when forced to turn it off they do play with them so in my case I need to be stricter on that but they already have everything. There is nothing new to buy them toy wise that isnt a pile of crap so it's hard!

HeyitsPorscha · 30/10/2019 14:11

They get a lot of non toy bits mixed in like arts and crafts, pjs/clothes etc

MintyMabel · 30/10/2019 14:19

They get a lot of non toy bits mixed in like arts and crafts, pjs/clothes etc

Same here. Books and book vouchers too.

Raver84 · 30/10/2019 14:21

I think your husbands idea is awful tbh. Unless money is really very tight one book one dvd and one small toy would be disappointing. So what do they do at home just let's pretend all the time? How about board games, craft games, puzzles, tech? Soemthing for the garden like a playhouse to share. Outdoor kitchen?

GuessWhoColeen · 30/10/2019 14:24

Im just getting an art set, books, a teepee & a couple of board games and thats it.

Bellringer · 30/10/2019 14:25

A present for the family, swing or slide for garden? Or something to feed imaginative play, club together and get scooter or bike. An experience to share. They will probably get their own ideas in a year or two

pollyputthepastaon · 30/10/2019 14:26

I guess a lot of their excitement is in the atmosphere and unwrapping. Just wrap up a fe toys in amongst more practical stuff.

New pyjamas, new duvet set, slippers, baking kit, a watch, books, colouring books, felt tip pens, swim goggles, arts and craft stuff, clothes, you can make a big pile that includes things they actually need as well as the few more exciting toys.

Magpiefeather · 30/10/2019 14:26

If they like imaginary games would they like some dressing up costumes? Books, clothes, PJs, all great presents as well I loved getting as a kid.

How about giving an experience as their main present? Trip to a theme park or zoo or a horse ride or whatever they’d like?

Angeldust747 · 30/10/2019 14:27

Something they want, something they need, something to wear, sometging to read x

SunnyupLands · 30/10/2019 14:28

Mine changed from one year to the the next and sometimes only started to play with Xmas toys well into the year.

Can you bulk out more creative toys?
Lego, lego creator, play doh kits, kinetic sand, marble run, stuff like that?

Happyspud · 30/10/2019 14:30

I buy my 4 a main gift each and 2 small ish things and a few fillers that don’t become tat. That is more than enough. They also get clothes from granny, and two more family Kris Kringle gifts too. And other small gifts here and there from neighbours or similar.

PhrightomenaButterfly · 30/10/2019 14:30

Mine get one toy or thing to do (DD2's growing out of toys) and one set of clothes.

maddening · 30/10/2019 14:30

I would also think about getting tickets for an event as a present, last year my dsis and I got both families tickets to the marvel arena tour rather than buy each others kids presents

Kathsmum · 30/10/2019 14:35

Maybe change the presentation? I think this looks good and you choose size.
Think the suggestion was top one filled with treats to eat, middle presents, bottom clothes.

to ask how much is enough? (Christmas)
icecreamsundae32 · 30/10/2019 14:35

I agree with not buying toys for the sake of it.

A board game you can all play? New pjs, slippers, hat scarf and gloves? Books, Lego, art and craft, science kits? New watch like Fitbit type thing tracks their steps and sleep?

ThatMuppetShow · 30/10/2019 14:35

Something they want, something they need, something to wear, sometging to read

I hate that

so basically kids have 1 present, sounds grim. They would have what they need eventually anyway, and books shouldn't be such a treat.

I prefer to give some of the things they ask for, and other things as a surprise.

Kathsmum · 30/10/2019 14:37

Trying again with pic
i.pinimg.com/originals/37/c1/4e/37c14e3d455e3b774e9f1d4b5c7f9e56.jpg

(Basically it’s filled boxes made into a snowman)

myself2020 · 30/10/2019 14:40

@ThatMuppetShow why is one present grim? if its something they want, its great!

Worriedmum1511 · 30/10/2019 14:42

I buy lots of games and crafty stuff but mine love both which helps.

Camomila · 30/10/2019 14:47

Those snowman boxes look adorable Kathsmum :)

I agree presents don't have to be toys to be fun...some kids might like team strips of football teams, or expensive craft supplies, or books, or decorative baking stuff.

I always loved reading a new book at Christmas - the ones I remember getting were one of the Harry Potters and a big childrens encyclopedia - so I guess I would have been 10/11.

x2boys · 30/10/2019 14:47

I had this problem for years when ds1 I would get him stuff that he just wouldn't use or play with ,not helped by the fact his birthday is on Boxing day Hmm as he got older though and wanted stuff like X box,es Tv,s etc it got easier to cut out the crap., .with ds2_it's much harder as he's severely autistic so he just not into stuff like that so I have to get him things I know he will like one got a gravity swing for his birthday which he loved but I'm struggling to.think of what he might want for Xmas .

Stephminx · 30/10/2019 14:48

You’re buying the wrong gifts if they don’t play with them ... buy books, dressing up stuff to aid imaginative play, tickets for days out etc...