to ask how much is enough? (Christmas)

[letsleepingbabieslie]

I love my kids, I want them to be happy and have fun and enjoy Christmas and toys and feel loved and I am not the Grinch....BUT I hate giving them Christmas presents because they just DO. NOT. USE. THEM.
Like all kids (age 5, 8) they love the idea of presents and toys, but in reality they just don't really play with 'stuff'. Every year the presents we (or DGPs) give them cause excitement for one day, and are then ignored for the whole rest of the year. I mean this literally. On a day to day basis what they like to play is mostly 'imaginary' games, chasing their friends, reading a book, etc.
Honestly, the only reason I give them presents is because I know if they don't get them they will feel disappointed and think we don't care or don't love them or something.
So, my question is: how many presents do you give your kids? What's the minimum I can get away with to make them enjoy the excitement of Christmas without creating total waste? DH wants to give them each one book, one DVD and one small toy. I feel like that would be massively disappointing and they'd be upset, but what's the point of giving them stuff which they don't play with?!
Thoughts?

My 7 year old is getting a ticket to Harry Potter studios, the next HP illustrated book, and a mermaid tail blanket from FB marketplace. Stocking will be mini boxes of cereal and watercolour paints.

3 year old getting fairy wings, two books, and Secondhand wooden ice cream set. Again, stocking with mini cereal boxes and crafty bits or stickers.

They have a lot of loving family and friends who will buy them "stuff" and we like to focus on the matching pjs, togetherness, atmosphere and dressing in nice outfits for church.

They have always been extremely excited. That said, if you have a Dudley Dursley who expects 27 presents, you might have already made a rod for your back.

We did £200 each at Christmas when we only had 2 and could afford it. That was when they were younger and there always toys and things they wanted. I have to admit, it was partly because I grew up with a lot and I felt I was being 'tight' if I didn't spend as much as we could afford. I'm older now and we have 3 kids. This year is going to be a much tighter year, we're in the process of buying a new house so we simply can't afford to go mad. I'm hoping this year, spending that big chunk less will get me into better habits and know that they don't need to be spoiled. This year it's a few toys and clothes for the youngest and mainly clothes for the older 2. It's much easier as they get older as they don't want as much 'tat' that they get bored of really quickly.

Same here. I've given away stuff that after being played with on Xmas day was never played with again.

So my answer is firstly get stuff second hand off eBay. So many toys on there in good cojdition and you aren't adding plastic crap to the planet.

Also do they like things like Playmobil or Lego? I don't mind adding to this sort of imaginative play stuff as it can all be passed on when out grown.

You could invest in stuff like board games?

I think a book is pretty stingy- wouldn't he stretch to an annual or two plus a collection from The Book People?

There are small toys that kids like - my kids enjoyed Lego mini figures and Match Attax for instance more than toys in bigger boxes. I think that some kids would prefer stocking type gifts like torch, slime, stretchy man to a big box item.

Experiences might be worth looking into. Depends where you live but there's all sorts like zoo keeping, falconry etc A day doing something like that without their sibling present would be pretty special for most kids.

Something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read

I love that. Children shouldn't be overwhelmed with a torrent of presents. They should be grateful for what they're given!

We give 1 single present to our DD.

Thanks for all the fantastic ideas and thoughts. Sounds like maybe I've felt the need to give them more than was necessary as I was just afraid they'd feel like 'all my friends got more than me so that means their parents love them more'. Hmm, maybe I have some issues here that require counselling.
On the books - DH isn't stingy, he just loves books and chooses really special ones that will be favourites for years, not just a random kiddy story. And they do love reading.
Sadly they are not into crafts AT ALL so none of that stuff works.
I do look for toys secondhand locally or on eBay to reduce plastic waste. DS1 desperately wants a dressing gown (so he can look like Yoda) so maybe that can be something!
HEre's to more fun and love at Christmas, less crappy tat.

Honestly I hate the amount of expectation from adults at Christmas. Who the fuck is to say that anyone else’s choice of gifts is ‘stingy’ or ‘sad’?! Buy your kids what they want and will use, to your budget. Simple. If they don’t use it or like it, don’t bloody buy it!! It’s just rampant, wanton consumerism for the sake of our pathetic more, more, more society. Use it and leave it and damn the consequences. OP your plan is just fine. Do it.

I buy ours approx three things, which definitely will include books for my eldest who is a massive bookworm (so sorry to anyone who presumed that a ‘sad’ Christmas gift.) we could afford to spend thousands on them each. But we don’t. Because that would be silly. I can not bare the Facebook ‘haul’ photos on Christmas Day, kids sitting amongst piles and piles and tat. Personally, I find that sad. But There you go.

Maybe things that encourage their imaginative play, or outdoor play? My ds is getting roller skates. He’s also getting a couple of board games and a couple of books.

Mine always have a fair stack but always things that get used.

There’s usually a few sports things...new football kits or gloves/togs/balls, a set of tennis rackets, a cricket set, basketball hoop (not all at once but these are things they’ve had in recent years).

New bikes or scooters or Xbox/TV.

Plenty of board games for the year to come and a big pile of books.

New dressing gowns. Personalised door signs. V bucks. New trainers or hoodies. Sprays/aftershaves/tattoo kits. Probably something nerf related. This year they have a (proper but cheap!) ice cream maker as a novelty.

Everything always gets used.

And they don’t make lists...they never have.

That's good that the book is chosen with care, I had images of a random one to fulfill the something to wear, something to read poem

I did the snowman boxes suggested above. I put want, need, wear into them and used a selection box for the hat. Their Christmas eve box had a book, hot chocolate, candy cane and their stocking had fun toothbrushes, wash cloths, shampoo etc. I think that's plenty.

If the OP's children choose to read books rather than playing with toys, then I'm going to put forward the Radical Suggestion that to them, a book is a brilliant present.

I played with toys a fair bit as a child (and we didn't have the huge piles that are standard nowadays so we were always pleased to get more) but I loved getting books for Christmas and birthdays. (I still remember picking up a copy of The Little Princess that was lying around and getting three chapters in before it completely disappeared... until my birthday. Honestly, I reckon I aged my mother a little more every day)

Also, I've always been one for buying loads of necessary stuff at Christmas - mostly for stockings rather than wrapped presents, to be fair, but I don't see anything wrong with putting character t-shirt in the present pile.

I asked for specific books every birthday and Christmas. I can still remember how excited I was to open a present that was a book I had wanted to read for ages, or a book token. You can buy them more than one book!

In terms of what do we get the kids - one present from parents, one present from their sibling; they also get presents from aunts, uncles, grandparents. Then they have a stocking, and I do admit there are about 20 presents in there, but small things - stuff that colours or fizzes in the bath, candycanes, a selection box, a book, pens, Lego character that comes in a bag, maybe a CD (they like listening to them in the car) ,personalised stickers, that kind of thing.

I like the idea of lots of small gifts but not encouraging tat, so stock up in charity shops for items they might like - crockery, tops, small games that generally the charity shops get inundated with after Christmas, DVDs and books - half a dozen at least. All in good condition, but doesn't matter if the kids don't like them. Add some sweets and special cereal and some useful items like socks, pants, toiletries, and it adds up.

Family tend to give money or vouchers which is great.

I don’t get a few People saying a book isn’t a present?! How is it not a present? I love a new book (or 2) for Xmas/birthday

DD1 doesn’t play with toys at all (she’s 5) so I don’t buy her toys. It’s also her birthday in November so makes it more difficult! For Christmas I’m getting her a Smiggle rucksack, notebook and water bottle, some bath bombs, loads of books (she loves books), some ‘posh’ felt pens and colouring books and a party dress.

Oh and some Lego.

And she blooming loves books as presents! It’s all she asks for.

Buy what your children like, you know them best. My DS wants a tv, my DD wants a new bed, those will be their main presents. Then they’ll have books, clothes, things to do with their hobbies, togs etc. Merch from their favourite you tubers. Sometimes new bedding. Tickets for a show/ play/ band.
Some people spend £50, some people spend £1000. Doesn’t make any of them right but it’s right for them. I would say buy what you can afford and put some real thought into it, don’t just buy things to bump up the pile.

Well I buy books often but I still buy them for xmas. How is it not a gift if it's something someone will like?

I agree that books are a wonderful present. My mum says she used to laugh as she looked around the room at my siblings excitedly unwrapping their toys while I sat by a pile of unopened presents engrossed in my Christmas book.

I always put either an Enid Blyton or a Chalet School book in my Christmas list as a child. On Christmas afternoon I was happy as Larry eating a bar of chocolate out of the net stocking selection box thing and starting my new book!