To not be enjoying pregnancy

[nicannie]

Just need some reassurance that I'm not alone. I'm expecting a whole varied amount of comments....

I was so excited when I found out I was pregnant, then the exhaustion hit, then the eating everything in sight hit, then the nausea hit, then I bled for around 6 weeks straight. So it's fair to say I've been a bag of nerves with the bleeding which hasn't helped.

I'm now 21w and my back is in bits, my boobs have went up 3 sizes already, I've went up almost 2 stone (I was quite lean pre pregnancy from working out everyday which I've stopped), I can't control my eating at all.

Overall I just feel really unattractive, lazy, find it difficult to speak to people who ask about the pregnancy as I feel I have to lie and say I'm feeling great!

With all that said, this little life I'm growing inside of me, I already feel an incredible bond. I can't wait for her to be here. Me and OH speak about her daily, discuss names, talk about her movements. It's just how I feel about myself. I know I won't be the only one who has felt like this, just looking for someone to tell me they felt similar or how to get around how I'm feeling about myself, sorry for the long post.. if you got this far, thank you and hope this doesn't make me sound like too much of a selfish so and so.

@CatsOnCatnip I'm same as you. I don't have any mega issues compared to how bad some people get it. But I just feel shit all the time and the fatigue and nausea doesn't help

@moita hopefully my labour is also no complications, right now looking forward to it as I know that's when baby will be here!

@blackfriars I feel for you. Sounds exactly like me. I think the exercising to nothing really can hit you as well, as of course exercising makes you feel good - right ??

I absolutely hated being pregnant. I couldn't walk unaided from 16wks with DS2 because my SPD was so severe. I was in a wheelchair or bed from 26 wks. I had repeated hospital admissions, too, because the pain was so bad. I didn't put on hardly any weight though because I couldn't get to the cupboards!

DH went to the doctor while I was still pregnant and got his vasectomy planned. There was absolutely no way I was going through that again.

Thanks @Slomi that makes me feel so much more positive about the after body part! I can imagine I'll be feeling that upset deflated balloon sort of look.... hopefully I'll be able to go back, like you did x

@sunnyblue that's what OH says. He keeps telling me think about it, as soon as baby is here you might feel 100x better which will help with the new arrival too!! Here's hoping

Pregnancy is absolute balls op. I'm 30 weeks and I've been over it for a long time.

I think the problem is that people put photos on social media of lovely baby bumps, and videos of watching the baby kick, but not many post the negative sides.

My friend has just given birth to her second daughter, and all the way through her pregnancy she was posting amazing photos where tbh she looked stunning and happy and radiant. Then a week or so after her birth, she put another post on being realistic, including photos and videos of her in hospital with horrific morning sickness (I can't spell what it's called haha sorry), videos of her walking up stairs holding her back because it was so sore, she had a stick towards the end to help her.. but NOTHING on her social media up until that point would have hinted that things were anything less than perfect and beautiful.

You are doing brilliantly, don't feel you should be loving it or whatever. There's plenty of time for love when baby arrives. Just take care of yourself, don't be hard on yourself, and remember that your body is doing an amazing thing. I am in awe of you :).

Definitely a means to an end. Enjoyed first pregnancy- no nausea only craved healthy food, easily dealing with ladders and major house project.

Got much fitter after first - had all sorts of plans for carrying on with fun and running ... nope ... anaemia, baby's head wedged in diaphragm, hard work chasing 1st born and I was seriously glad to not be pregnant once he was born.

Not a hint of broodiness for another and 2nd born is a year old

Venger so you really lost 2 stone in the first 6 weeks? That's really incredible and gives me some hope, thanks again!

I gained three stone in total. I lost one stone in the first six weeks without really doing anything which I put down to no longer carrying the weight of DS (9.5lb!) and fluid, etc then I had two stone of weight left to lose.

I didn't gain anything in subsequent pregnancies thanks to HG getting worse each time and by the time DC4 came around I ended that pregnancy lighter than I started it.

@nicannie
Part of it could also be that I stopped pretending and saying "Oh yes I feel WONDERFUL, carrying a little bundle of joy has changed my life, the bond I have with our little darling already is ground breaking, I'm so grateful for every second" and just started being honest and saying e.g. "You know what Sandra actually last night I vomited so hard I gave myself piles and now I feel like I've been punched in the ring piece, but we're over half way there now and I couldn't be more excited to meet her!"

Yes I did actually vomit so hard I gave myself piles.

I know it's the most cringey and annoying thing in the world to hear right now, but it really will all be worth it in the end. Also if you just don't feel well enough to carry out plans cancel, and if you don't feel well enough to work just take the day off sick, and stick it to anybody who says "you're pregnant, not ill!" (Yaaaaawn)

@TheFairyCaravan sorry u had such a shit pregnancy. All sounds awful, I couldn't even imagine having to go through all that! No wonder you didnt want to go through it again x

@shrutefarm not long for you to go! Your in the home stretch, but ur right, I need to come to the realisation that I am NOT enjoying it and be honest

@SunshineAngel good in your friend for coming out with all that after the baby was here!! Not enough people do this sort of thing.

Thank you for your kind words... I know I'll get there now, it's just hard some days

@randomsabreuse pregnancies can be so different, even two for one woman if that makes sense! Sounds like u might not do it again... but hats off to you for doing it twice, and now you have two very much wanted and loved DC x

@Venger that's crazy really isn't it. Were you worried with the 2-4 pregnancies that you would gain all that 3 stone weight again with each one ?

@Wubbawubba love the honesty reply in that message hahah! I might adapt it!! Sorry u got piles from vomiting, I have had the part where I vomited so hard I did wet myself - OH found that part amusing of course! Which made me laugh too, probably needed the laughter.

I've definitely been a canceller if plans with friends but I'm yet to take a sick day from work, I really struggle as I'm a PA and my boss DEPENDS on me way too much!! I have over an hour travel each way, by the time I leave my house at 6am to travel I don't get home until 5pm. It's exhausting. No wonder my back is in bits!!

I hated it, I too had just lost 3 stone, think that was the main reason, ive gained all 3 stone back and a little more and hes almost 2! No idea when I'll lose it.....

@Amber2019 oh I feel you. I'm glad ur baby is here and 2 and growing and your healthy too! But just gutted about the weight, I honestly feel your pain

I had 7 years of infertility before i got pregnant out of the blue totally unexpected so i wouldn't care if someone said my moaning was insensitive to infertile women because i already have that t shirt. It's a long hard 9 months and i don't believe women actually do glow or enjoy it as the majority seem to struggle with it. Oh and OP if you do get heartburn you'll know about it there isn't a medication strong enough to rid me of mine its literally like an erupted volcano has gone off in my chest sometimes

@LucaFritz I'm so glad that you did conceive after all those hard years, that must have been so hard going so I am sorry. But I'm also glad ur on the same page with it being a bit tough and shit!!

I hope the heartburn doesn't strike, really sounds horrific