To not be enjoying pregnancy

[nicannie]

Just need some reassurance that I'm not alone. I'm expecting a whole varied amount of comments....

I was so excited when I found out I was pregnant, then the exhaustion hit, then the eating everything in sight hit, then the nausea hit, then I bled for around 6 weeks straight. So it's fair to say I've been a bag of nerves with the bleeding which hasn't helped.

I'm now 21w and my back is in bits, my boobs have went up 3 sizes already, I've went up almost 2 stone (I was quite lean pre pregnancy from working out everyday which I've stopped), I can't control my eating at all.

Overall I just feel really unattractive, lazy, find it difficult to speak to people who ask about the pregnancy as I feel I have to lie and say I'm feeling great!

With all that said, this little life I'm growing inside of me, I already feel an incredible bond. I can't wait for her to be here. Me and OH speak about her daily, discuss names, talk about her movements. It's just how I feel about myself. I know I won't be the only one who has felt like this, just looking for someone to tell me they felt similar or how to get around how I'm feeling about myself, sorry for the long post.. if you got this far, thank you and hope this doesn't make me sound like too much of a selfish so and so.

@VanillaSmile that all sounds like a lot to go through! I'm glad you and your baby are ok now and happy.

Your right, I shouldn't have to put a brave face on and like you say just because I don't enjoy the pregnancy part doesn't mean I'm not looking forward to the being a mum part

It’s more than ok to not enjoy pregnancy! Don’t feel you have to put on a brave face, pregnancy has been likened to being an endurance athlete- we are absolutely pushed to our limit in pregnancy. I wish more women spoke out about how it’s not always “amazing”. Yes be greatful you are pregnant but you are allowed to feel how you feel! It’s quote a tough 9 months!

@purplepalace thanks for your lovely and honest comments. I should have added that part, what gets me through is the fact that I have this incredible gift and me and my OH were able to create this life and I'm able to carry her for 9 months until she arrives and I know some people never get the chance, but that's what also makes me feel like I should fake the enjoying of it all!

The stretch marks also get me down, I had a few previously nothing anyone else notice, but I'm worried that they will come in thick and fast soon and will always just be there and noticeable. But it happens to majority of women, sometimes without being pregnant so I should try put this to the back of my mind

YANBU. I'm now 33 (34?) weeks and I'd be lying if I said I'm not relieved it's nearly over.

I love our little one more than words could possibly express and I'm so happy and excited about the pregnancy, but until I was about 24 weeks I was a ball of anxiety, sickness, heartburn and emotion. The only word I could use to describe it is 'miserable', however I always felt incredibly lonely as if you dare express anything other than euphoria in pregnancy you tend to get made to feel ungrateful and like you're saying you don't want your baby, which is insane.

Hang in there. For me, after about 22 weeks it started to go a lot quicker - appointments were more frequent and there was more stuff you can do to prepare etc which I feel helps pass the time.x

@WooMaWang I think my outlook will be very much the same as yours once our baby is here !

@smartcarnotsosmartdriver sorry to hear things haven't went quite to plan with work etc, but you are so almost there and your baby boy will be in your life! 💙

Thanks @liviadrusilla glad to hear you did eventually feel better. Do you have your thread link? Maybe it would be useful for me to read over

@CatsOnCatnip thank you. I think it's difficult as my mum said to me whilst I complained once 'your pregnant not ill' and I thought, actually I just feel ill, not pregnant !

The only people that I know that enjoyed pregnancy didn’t have morning sickness and barely put on any weight apart from the bump.

@Venger so you really lost 2 stone in the first 6 weeks? That's really incredible and gives me some hope, thanks again! I never think about how heavy everything in there is as well as the water retention side of it

I hated pregnancy so you’re not alone! But when you have the baby you might feel better you might not but that’s ok. Just take one day at a time

I HATED being pregnant. I had HG and SPD and generally just didn't enjoy it. I was desperate to be pregnant and felt wracked with guilt BUT now my little one is here and our bond is amazing! The pregnancy hasn't had an impact on us.

Fingers crossed you start to feel better soon and come here to rant if you need to 💓

@JacquesHammer I agree with you completely! The HR woman in my work is really frustrating she's too much for me and is always at me when she is in the office. And she keeps saying 'your looking well' or 'your glowing now' and I come home and look and feel like a sack of shit, plus I'm whiter than white. My OH can't believe she says these things to me as we both totally acknowledge I look grey and unwell most days 😂

@Witchinaditch thank you! I think your right, I think I'm going to start being more honest when people ask me about it, rather than just be brave and say everything is great and I feel great etc - it's harder lying !

@Wubbawubba I totally feel where you're coming from! So glad to hear it started getting better for u after the 22 week mark, I'm almost there. Your right though, I worry about being honest about not enjoying it in case I'm judged or people presume I'm not looking forward to having my little one here

@misspiggy19 yes! Think those are the sort of people that's coming to me about saying they enjoyed it! That's so not me

@Xyzzzzz I think that's really valid, it's true what they say, it's ok not to be ok..

Thank you @toshbish123 ! I'm hoping I'll be the same as you, the pregnancy won't even come into my mind once baby is here x

yanbu. I was throwing up daily until 25 weeks with both DC. I looked and felt utter shit!

@sunnyblue that sounds horrific!!! I bet that was extremely difficult. I'm glad it got better for you. But yes I feel and look like utter shit 😂

Pregnancy MAKES you ill, so that was an unnecessary comment @nicannie

I felt bad, because generally I had quite a straight forward pregnancy and lots of women have it much much worse. But for me, I felt like shit the whole way through. Never ‘bloomed’ or ‘glowed’. Just felt nauseous and tired from start to finish.

Had two easy pregnancies but didnt enjoy being pregnant. Labour was fine in comparison!

YANBU. I'm 15 weeks and I was SO looking forward to being pregnant - I was pretty active before like you and for some reason just assumed I'd be one of those women who can just keep on leading their normal lives just with an added dose of excitement of what is to come.

Oh how I am now laughing at my stupidly smug former self! I haven't been too nauseous but I have been EXHAUSTED, had incessant terrible headaches (paracetemol does nothing), anaemia, UTIs and terrible constipation (I am certain my piles are in the first class post). It has really been a wake up call, and I will never again under-estimate how hard this is for most women! I cannot WAIT to meet my baby - counting the days - but being pregnant sucks. You have my sympathy.

@nicannie I didn't do anything special to lose weight just tried my best to be gently active and limit sugar a bit. The only exercise I had was 30-45 min walks with baby in the pram a few times a week (DD was a winter baby so every day wasn't always an option). I tried to limit sugar but I wasn't overly careful with my diet either. I lost 1 and a half stone in the first two weeks and the other 2 and a half came off slowly but surely within the year. I remember looking at my body just after DD was born and being upset. I looked like a deflated balloon and was covered in angry red stretch marks. I can honestly say a year later that it has improved almost entirely. My tummy is much flatter and the stretch marks are a very light silver, you barely see them. I feel like me again just with little signs that I'm a mum if you look close enough lol. Be kind to yourself, you are growing a person and it will take time to get back to feeling like yourself but you absolutely will!

sunnyblue that sounds horrific!!! I bet that was extremely difficult. I'm glad it got better for you. But yes I feel and look like utter shit

at least you will look looking gorgeous in comparison when the baby is here

happened to me and I looked like a million dollars despite lack of sleep, leaking bpobs and all.