To wish my baby would take a dummy?

[antonsteeth]

It would make him so much happier!

8 weeks old, is breastfed and regularly uses the boob for comfort. Will wake in the night/early from naps and won't be hungry, but only the boob will settle him, which makes for a very broken sleep for both of us.

In addition, it often means he'll over feed/take in air, which leads to painful wind.
I've tried so many makes of dummy: MAM, tommy tippee, Avent,breast like soothers (the list goes on!) On the odd occasion when he was younger he'd take one for a while and really settle (so I know he can have one), then once it fell out and I'd try to pop it back in, he'd writhe around, gagging and getting upset. That's pretty much what he does immediately if I ever try now.

Should i continue to try? Any tips? Should I leave it and be grateful I don't have to worry about dummy weening later on? If so, is there anything else I can do to soothe him? He likes sucking on my hand, but that only works with him say upright on my knee...

I am in the same situation with my almost 7-month old. I wish I could help but I’m shamelessly following, Id love to be able to settle her without feeding at night, when she’s not even hungry, same as you.

I wouldn't bother if I were you. He'll find his thumb soon enough, and you'll avoid all the horrid dummy negatives like screaming because he's lost the blasted thing.

How long have you tried for? I had to try for 2 weeks to get my 7 month old to have one when she was around that age, I wasn’t taking no for an answer as she started sucking her thumb and you can take a dummy off her but not her thumb 😂 have you continuously tried?

(And I just stuck with the one brand - MAM)

You can't overfeed a breat fed baby, they are able to suck the nipple in a way so no milk comes out, essentially using you as a dummy

Breat = breast

Being a parent who stupidly gave my DS a dummy, I would say just embrace the fact that you don't have to contend with the stupid thing in the future! :) Mine's now 18m and has it for sleep, but would happily have it all day if he was allowed. We have some absolute tantrums when he's refused it. I'm expecting #2 and I'm not allowing one this time around! Hate the things.

I'm sorry, I'm not sure what else to suggest, other than to mirror others that he may find his thumb soon. Has he got a soft toy comforter? I know of some children who were happy enough with that ie stroking the fabric to settle,and didn't need anything in their mouth to self sooth.

Or maybe those teething mitts? (Gummees I think?) easier to get away from his mouth if he wants, but may also help when the teeth start coming through

Show him where his fist is, i.e. when he cries, put it in his mouth. Some babies need some guidance to find it can soothe them. DS did anyway.
He should also know it exists as he should suck it when he's hungry.

Get someone else to offer dummy instead to start with?

I stuck with dummy as didn't want any thumb sucking! You can't get rid of a thumb but you can with dummys

DS1 only gave up his dummy at 3.5 so I was determined with DS2. He's now 17m old and still breastfeeds every chance he gets. It's been exhausting - my boobs are his source of comfort - but he's got lovely straight teeth and I know it won't be forever.

Health visitors will tell you to start weaning off a dummy at 2-3 months old anyway so not much point in starting now.

He's not "using you as a dummy", the babies with dummies are using those as a nipple substitute!

I understand it's hard when you're not getting enough sleep, but 8 weeks is still so tiny (though I'm sure he already seems so big to you!), he's still just going on instinct and his instincts say mummy is the best! He doesn't want any second rate substitute!

You're doing a great job so far following his lead. He'll change his patterns in no time and you'll be on to the next hard bit

Is there another way you can catch up on some sleep? What support do you have?

Thank you everyone for coming back to me! It does seem to be a fairly mixed response. To answer some qs..

• I probably try every other day, maybe I need to increase this and stick to one type of dummy...
• it is a good point that the weening at a later date could be bad - I'm so conflicted!
• I like the hand / teething mit idea - will look into those
• my DH is a good support, but works FT so naps are when he naps (which aren't very long or he's in the sling)

I just want him to be settled and happy, I see lots of content babies with their dummies and mine sometimes gets upset if we're somewhere I can't pop my nipple out easily Eg. walking around tescos, in the car, in the sling/pram! As well as cutting short sleep as I mentioned before.

Instead of dummies both mine had ‘tags’ to rub between their fingers and suck. They only sucked them for a short while and got into the habit of rubbing the tags. Only problem was only ‘certain’ tags would do lol but I preferred it over a dummy and thumb sucking.

Today 09:20 AlmostAlwyn

He's not "using you as a dummy", the babies with dummies are using those as a nipple substitute!

This x 10000

He doesn’t want one, he’s making it clear. Please don’t be one of those horrible parents shoving it repeatedly in their babies mouth despite them spitting it out.

@Theresnobslikeshowbs so would this be like a little label on a comforter/blanket or another type of tag? This could be a nice option!
I also agree with PP that I don't want to force something he doesn't want /like

Have you tried to warm up the dummy by giving it to him?

My DC didn't have a dummy until 6 or 8 weeks but it was a life saver when she took it. I sucked my thumb as a child for a long time and subsequently needed a brace, I definitely want to avoid that.

I have a 17wk old BF DS and the only dummy he can keep in for any length of time is a big cherry shaped tit. My other two children were the exact same. He still let's it fall out his mouth 7 times out of 10 but I couldn't be without it

Some just don't take dummies. Mine didn't and I was gobsmacked, I had one for years, never occurred to me she'd refuse them.

8 weeks is a gassy age but it passes when they can move about more.

Sorry. I should have written 'warm up the dummy before me.

My youngest DD was like this. Flat out refused a dummy and only wanted me. She eventually found her fingers and sucked them to soothe herself. In the long run it was for the best as I didn't need to take a dummy off her. But I understand your frustration at the moment though!

Mine EBF babies didn't take dummies. They were excessively gassy at that age which calmed down when they rolled over/sat. Both were contented without dummies.

Lack of sleep is to be expected at 8weeks. I've got a 6 week old and I breastfeed laying down safely with her so we both doze in the night.

Your baby doesn't want a dummy. Stop trying to force it. Neither of mine have taken them. 8 weeks is tiny, they're used to living inside you so it isn't inconveivable that they will want to use you for comfort. They're tiny for such a short time, the best thing for your sanity is to embrace it all!

Unfortunately breastfeeding mums only realise the benefits of a dummy when it's too late. They need to be introduced immediately to have the baby accept one.

That's ships sailed I'm afraid.

@yellowallpaper i agree, we introduced a dummy at 2 weeks to make sure dd would take it.

I breastfed, but did not want to have her attached to me 24/7. No baby feeds constantly for hours, they are sucking for comfort, which a dummy can easily provide. If you are happy to have them attached to you then great, if not introduce a dummy. Both give the baby the comfort of sucking