To wish my baby would take a dummy?

[antonsteeth]

It would make him so much happier!

8 weeks old, is breastfed and regularly uses the boob for comfort. Will wake in the night/early from naps and won't be hungry, but only the boob will settle him, which makes for a very broken sleep for both of us.

In addition, it often means he'll over feed/take in air, which leads to painful wind.
I've tried so many makes of dummy: MAM, tommy tippee, Avent,breast like soothers (the list goes on!) On the odd occasion when he was younger he'd take one for a while and really settle (so I know he can have one), then once it fell out and I'd try to pop it back in, he'd writhe around, gagging and getting upset. That's pretty much what he does immediately if I ever try now.

Should i continue to try? Any tips? Should I leave it and be grateful I don't have to worry about dummy weening later on? If so, is there anything else I can do to soothe him? He likes sucking on my hand, but that only works with him say upright on my knee...

crispysausagerolls FYI it doesn’t make you a ‘horrible parent’ because you’ve chosen to give your child a dummy rather than them getting buck teeth by using a their thumb

@yellowallpaper we started trying during week 1! I think her continuous refusal to take it is probably an indicator that she's not going to change her mind,

I totally appreciate the comments about her wanting/needing me, and of course I will not take that from her. I just see other babies so content because they can be comforted anytime, anywhere. I also think she'd get longer naps which would also benefit her immensely and stop her getting overtired. I do let her nap on me a lot, but occasionally I just need a few mins to have a shower, put a wash on, eat something etc!

@antonsteeth that’s exactly what they used. They had fav silky ones, that rubbed together easily. A family friend bought a blanket and cut of silky tags from her families clothes, and attached it around the blanket. I do believe you can buy them pre made now.

Breastfeeding, introduced a dummy at 1 week, still holding it in.

Resent being called a horrid parent. I am a parent who is surviving with a mainly happy growing child and like many women, my mother works FT hundreds of miles away, husband works FT plus, MIL is dead and there is literally nobody else. Judgy parenting is crap. Without a dummy to stop the crying I would be unable to do many of the things that keep me happy enough to keep going (and keep breastfeeding). Such as going for a walk. I find the sound of my baby crying when I am sleep deprived and can’t immediately fix it pure torture.

Good luck OP, I think Avent work best for me in that he sometimes keeps it in. Try settling with them in the day at first.

Have you tried these?

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07LGYCG8W/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_VZwUDbW5EK0JH?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

I’m still breastfeeding and it wasn’t the breast she wanted it was my finger. She once sucked it for so long after a feed - always a windy baby - that I lost all feeling in it. These are a life saver. She only has it for naps and not always for nighttime sleep but post feed for settling her it’s a winner.

@AnneLovesGilbert yes! She actually hates these less than the others, but still starts spitting it out/getting upset after about ten seconds

Are you putting the dummy too far in? You have to put it against their lips and let them pull it in partly themselves, You can't force it. Once they're used to They will open their mouths. Try offering it when babies just been fed and feeling happy and contented, not when babies already hungry/upset. You can get dummy clips which stop them getting lost, and ones that glow in the dark.

Other babies find their hand, thumb, a Teether or a teddy instead so worth trying a few options to see what baby likes. As you already have the dummies, could keep offering Those too. Maybe put a drip of breast milk on there and see if that gets baby to take it. If they've been in million they will taste bad, so steam sterilise instead.

Good luck

My kids love their dummies, but won't take them if hungry or teething, so they might be factors

I didn’t say using a dummy makes you a horrible parent! I said it’s horrid when I see people repeAtedly shoving them in/baby spitting it out. And tbh I do find it sad when baby is rooting for nipple and gets dummy instead. But why should you care about my opinion? It’s just what I think ffs OP asked if she is BU and I think she is.

DS didn’t have a dummy because I didn’t offer. He was a Velcro baby to the extreme who was on the breast constantly (never even lost birth weight he fed so much). He hated the car, the buggy etc. It was tough, but I just adapted, used a sling etc.

It does get easier without a dummy. A lot easier!

Both of mine didn’t take dummies - in about a years time you’ll be glad as you won’t have to do the weaning off battle (i know so many 3-5 year olds who still have their dummy at night....)

The only dummies that mine would take were the tommy tippee cherry teat. Cherry teats are easier to keep in their mouth apparently.

Laughing at 'breastfeeding mums don't see the benefitof dummies until it's too late.'
It's rather dummy utilising mums are making excuses and refuse to see that dummies are ugly, lazy and gross waves

Dummy wars

A quick question as I know there's a lot experienced parents on this thread...

My DS does a really good first part of the night sleep for about 4-6 hours (for example last night he did 8.30-2.30. But then it goes downhill after then (4.15, 5.30, 6.30). I don't think he's particularly hungry then, but always latches on and then will fall asleep fairly quickly (I did try the dummy but he just got upset so I stopped).

How can I try to stop him waking up every hour or so? He's BF, would formula fill him up more for 2.30'feed? Should I do a dream feed earlier (I really worry about waking him up Incase he won't go back to sleep..)

My first had a dummy, so I tried really hard with my second. Sadly she was a thumbsucker. I don’t think it is too late to introduce a dummy and would persevere. My firstborn also really liked those massive cherry teats (not the weird shaped orthodontic ones- still has perfect teeth though!)

I don't think there's anything wrong with dummies, we just didn't use one ourselves, but you did ask for these stories so: he's now 16 months and a lot of my friends are having constant battles over whether or not their toddler can have their dummy in the day and I'm glad I'm well out of all that!

@lalalallalala, how old is your DC? Its technically normal to have worse sleep for the second part of the night at any age because you have less sleep pressure. It could be gas, mine used to wake up gassy at that time.

I second trying the tommy tippee cherry ones with latex teats, they are the only ones my 5 month old will take.

Some of the comments on here are laughable, I wouldn’t be able to care for my 3 year old properly if my (sling hating) baby was attached to me 24/7. Her taking a dummy has been a life saver and means I am able to give my 3 year old a bit of one on one attention too.

We gave my first one and I really regret it, I think we got less sleep overall as a result. The amount of times I had to get up to put the fucking thing back in when she was too young to be able to do it herself.

I completely understand why you’d be keen for your DD to take a dummy, it was a lifesaver for me. I don’t understand PPs who are so offended by them. Perhaps they are all just very tired and worn down.

DD took a dummy from a week old - meant I could settle her without breastfeeding. This definitely contributed to her sleeping so well. She has never had her dummy apart from for sleep, so there has never been a battle there.

My friend has an 11 week old and after much perseverance has just managed to get him to take a dummy, so don’t give up hope! She was at breaking point as he had been unsettled for about 3 weeks, and feeding constantly. He also became very windy which caused him even more distress. She said he is like a different little baby now - very content and no longer so overtired.

Good luck!

@SnuggyBuggy 8 weeks :)

@lalalallalala very usual for the first block of night sleep to be the longest, it usually soon settles but unless you want to Combi feed for other reasons, I'd roll with it for now.

As for dummies, personal preference. I would have had to stop BFing if we didn't use one as I actually couldn't have coped with baby constantly on me. Maybe that makes me selfish, but either way, he sometimes sleeps with it, never wants it during the day anymore, and doesn't stir when it falls out so there's not always huge battles to be had down the line. Some don't take to them though, keep offering but if rejected once I would leave it for now. Has anyone else offered? It might be harder for you as they know you'll be able to settle them on the breast if they reject the dummy.

YANBU as I wished the same about DS2! DS1 has a dummy (mainly to sleep only once he reached a certain age) and I'm sure it's one of the reasons why he was an excellent sleeper. DS2 had none of it though, he's 8 months now. He hasn't found his thumb either!

@lalalallalala, 8 weeks was peak gassy for mine. It gets better when they can sit up and move around more