To want relatives to put money in ds savings account for Christmas?

[addictedtotheflats]

DS will be 8 months at Christmas and I was thinking about asking relatives to put money in his savings rather than buy presents.. I mean does an 8 month old really need Christmas presents? I dont have the space for a load of new toys plus he has plenty. I just dont know if this is rude? I wouldnt be offended if someone asked me to do this, infact I think I would be happy not having to trawl shops/internet for presents..

Thoughts?

Yes it’s rude, unless they ask, and then you could sort of mention it along with oh he doesn’t need anything but if you really want to buy something you could get him clothes or put some money in his savings account. Asking them to do it; no.

I think it is a great idea. I always give cash anyway.

I’d be very happy if I was asked to do that.

You could start off the conversations and see what reactions you get.

If they want to buy something then suggest 12 months + toys.

You can suggesat t, but it,s ultimately there choice.

OP - I quite agree with you. I wish my DH would give his grandchildren money rather than the horrid plastic tat which is forgotten in 10 minutes - but he will not listen to me. What kid is going to say when they are 16 'I remember that Christmas when my grandfather gave me money rather than toys - so boring'???

Another one who would be perfectly happy to oblige.

Saves on the duplication of a bunch of landfill bound tat your baby won’t even appreciate and whose boxes he would doubtless prefer to chew on in any case.

If anyone asks then yes you can state cash is better. But be aware that people like to buy gifts especially for their first nephew / grandchild etc. Maybe if they are desperate to get gifts ask for a larger gift like a toy kitchen or ride on toys that he will like in a few months

Why not say we’ve opened a savings account for DS to use when he turns 18 to help with a car or university, house deposit -

Makes it sound better than - well pocket the cash for days out

Erm honestly I think it's a bit naff and mean spirited. I totally get wanting to keep gifts down...so much unneeded plastic crap.

But if someone wants to give your baby. Gift could you say how lovely we are just doing books as he is so little and we don't have much space...? Or if it's your parents just be honest and say you don't want anything but if they have to could it be useful etc. I think people want to give sometimes.

To add, my 14 month old hasn't really had a bug present from us so far. We know relatives tend to want to buy certain gifts like first bike or pram or kitchen etc. So DH and I just put cash in her account and we try and ensure a good age range of toys. We then add to her toy collection through second hand bargains only. Because I pick up so much second hand when it came to Christmas last year I said please don't buy - soft toys / jumperoo / walkers etc because I had everything

I do "outings envelopes" for toddlers and babies and write on the front "I'm bored take me out mummy"
A fiver in each one multiplied if a close relative. So it's money to pay for entry to a soft play/tea and cake at a park/swimming etc...
You get the idea, always really appreciated

That is what I am doing! My family know dd has a saving account for when she is an adult and are all happy to contribute to that instead of presents that we can't fit in the house. Dd will be 11 months at Christmas

Very cheeky to ask, if they ask you could mention it but lots don’t like to gift cash. I’d happily buy clothes but won’t do cash. Too often seen as free reign for the parents to spend as they please.

I wouldn't like to do it. I like to buy gifts, or to give money for (obviously older) children to choose gifts.

The idea of saving over the 18 years is great for parents, and grandparents if they want to contribute too, but for other people? If I give your child birthday money when they are, say 5, I would want the child to be able to spend it when they are 5, not 18.

In my experience you can’t have enough clothes or books so if anyone asks for suggestions that’s what I’d say.

Hmm mixed opinions. I think I will ask just Grandparents to give money. The rest I will just see what comes my way. It hurts my soul the amount of stuff that gets wasted/never used as a result of unnecessary gifts. Thanks for the replies!

Brilliant idea.

My family done this for me and I was to get it when I needed it past the age of 18. I combined the money with my savings and bought my second car outright no finance needed .

All our family send chqs or money. Occasionally we get gifts, if someone is going to the USA, then they buy smart top/shirt. Works brilliantly.

Most of my family ask for ideas, SO, I tend to buy in the deals things I know they will want that will last the year and they either buy off me, give Next vouchers for clothes, or give money to savings/for spending. Any money received gets either split into half for savings half for spending on toys of their choosing/days out, or of the giver wants it all saved that is what happens.

Rude to dictate what other people should give.

That doesn’t mean I think you are wrong for preferring a cash gift but I loved shopping for all my DNephews & DNieces & I know my family also loved picking things for mine. Several years in, cash was mentioned, the DC’s all now getting cold hard chash and love choosing their own stuff but I think an 8 month old new family member........people will be very offended to be asked for cash.

I would hate it. I like buying gifts and feel people asking for money are taking the piss. Like ‘yada yada yada - how much cash can you give?’

I would have far more respect if someone like you said ‘we’ve not got much room / planet conservation / whatever - please don’t feel the need to buy anything but if you do, books will be hugely appreciated’. And then you buy the Big Ticket Gifts.

When we’ve asked what we want for DS (who will be four months) I’ve asked for money for his account as he’s too young to appreciate and we will only be getting a couple of things too. I explained we don’t have space and I don’t like the thought of the throw away culture of toys etc.

My MIL and others have said I’m stupid if I think they’re not spoiling him. I can’t win.

Yes it's rude. It's also very sensible though and by far the best thing he could be given.

My parents have always done this one token gift giant telly tubby etc then cash for us. Ds has a November birthday so really hard we normally save it so in summer we can buy bits. One year he got a trampoline in offer in May from Christmas money.