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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what you’d think if you saw someone putting their dog on a lead?

145 replies

LionsShare · 29/10/2019 13:59

I always think they don’t want me to go near their dog so stay away or walk further away from them.

When I was walking my dog today I put her on the lead because she can sometimes be reactive to other dogs. Mostly she’s fine but she was attacked and gets scared if dogs approach her sometimes and I could tell she was in one of those moods today so I put her on the lead as the other dog was approaching and started walking a bit away from them. The man kept coming directly towards me, he had a big husky so thought I was putting her on because I was worried his dog would be aggressive. He kept walking towards me saying it’s ok he’ll only want to play, I was like I know but my dog won’t want to Hmm

Am I unreasonable in thinking if you see someone recall their dog and put them on a lead you stay away? Not sure what else I could have done to keep her away? She started showing her teeth, she doesn’t go for the dogs just warns them away because of her fear, but I always worry about the other dog reacting to her and things escalating.

We have been going to training classes and she is getting better but doesn’t like dogs who jump around her still. Walking past dogs etc she’s absolutely fine.

OP posts:
k1233 · 29/10/2019 23:06

I've had my dog (on lead) attacked by an off lead dog so have absolutely no tolerance for off lead dogs approaching, particularly as my current dogs are smaller. I generally discourage anyone approaching my dogs with dogs by having mine in tight heel on short leads and powering past. Some polite people ask if it's ok for their dogs to say hello (again their dogs are on lead) and that is fine, I don't mind at all.

I was taking my eldery, very wobbly, dog into the vet one day. A guy was coming out with a young great Dane that he could barely hold. Told me it was only being friendly. I gave him a mouthful. You don't go to the vet because your dog is well and mine was aged and arthritic, so he should keep his bloody dog away as it isn't a dog park!

With a dog reactive dog like yours, I'd probably make safety plates to attach to her harness. That's what I did with my old boy. The great Dane guy ignored the yellow ribbon, which is vet issued for dogs that need space, so I made him disabled plates which worked a treat and kept people away.

To ask what you’d think if you saw someone putting their dog on a lead?
MelbaToast · 29/10/2019 23:24

I never realised it was such an issue. My dog is off lead most of the time in our local park and unless people tell me there's a problem with their dogs I let him play. He's really sweet with nervous dogs and won't go to them unless they approach him.

SnowsInWater · 30/10/2019 05:16

All dogs have to be on a lead in public places here (Sydney) unless at a specified "off leash" area (parks and a few beaches). I love it tbh, both with my dogs and without as I don't have to second guess if a dog is going to run over and jump up or not.

adaline · 30/10/2019 05:53

I hate it when people let their off lead dogs run up to mine when he's on-lead. He's leash reactive and it just makes the whole situation worse as he gets really stressed out.

I don't get why people think it's acceptable to let their dog run everywhere like that. I get it happens sometimes when you have a puppy or young dog who's still learning but it doesn't make it any less frustrating.

notthemum · 30/10/2019 05:59

Hàven't read all through but àssuming that you were in a park as IT IS ILLEGAL to hav3 a dog not on lead whilst on a public street.

shearwater · 30/10/2019 06:04

Not everyone lives in the suburbs. There are lots of rural public footpaths which are suitable for dogs walking off lead, subject to other dogs being on lead, looking out for livestock etc.

WatchingTheMoon · 30/10/2019 06:06

It doesn't really matter what I or anyone else would assume. People all have different assumptions, so you can't expect everyone to pick up on every cue. It might seem obvious to you what's going on, but someone who's never had a reactive or nervous dog is not going to immediately assume what you do.

Just tell the owner directly. You can't blame other people for not picking up on indirect statements/actions.

I personally don't let my dog near other people's dogs unless I know them and he's always on the lead unless we're somewhere isolated or whatever but not everyone is like that. Instead of wishing they were, use your words.

FrangipaniBlue · 30/10/2019 06:08

I never realised it was such an issue. My dog is off lead most of the time in our local park and unless people tell me there's a problem with their dogs I let him play.

But why should I have to shout at you across a park to get your dog under control?

My dog is not reactive/aggressive/nervous but he is only 14 months and I'm still trying to train him. At present he has limited recall but likes to play rough and gets far too hyper/excited around other dogs, so he is not allowed off the lead.

When your dog comes bounding up to us he starts jumping around and trying to run and play with it, almost pulling me off my feet, and the "at heel" training I'm trying to do goes out the window.

but that's because your dogs having fun right?

EleanorShellstrop100 · 30/10/2019 06:41

I wouldn’t change my route. I’d assume that if the dog was on the lead then it was now under control. Seems a bit pointless putting it on the lead otherwise.

rwalker · 30/10/2019 06:43

People like you restore my faith in dog owners.
Rather than the usual people who thinks you will love there precious pooch as much as them when it only wants to say hello .

Soontobe60 · 30/10/2019 06:49

Our dog was fine off the lead in the woods or fields, he loved a good run and would come back straight away when called. In parks where there were more people, dogs, kids, he stayed on the lead. The problem is, if you automatically put your dog on a lead when another dog is approaching, you're teaching your dog to be afraid. Also, when a dog is on a lead it can't run away from other dogs, so it can become more aggressive. Whilst in the woods, if another dog came near ours, he would have a sniff and then run off if he didn't like the other dog.
In the parks when he's always on the lead, we just kept walking and he didn't mind, if other dogs came up to him he'd have a bit of a growl but we'd walk on quickly.

Doggodogington · 30/10/2019 06:51

If I see another dog off the lead I’ll think it’s fine and won’t put mine back on the lead. She is better off than on as for some reason (think she gets protective) she’s more growls on the lead. If I see people walking without dogs I’ll put her on the lead as she’s likely to run up for a sniff and not everyone likes dogs.
My huge standard poodle is fine to walk off the lead as he won’t move more than 2 metres from us as he’s a big scaredy cat dog.

LolaSmiles · 30/10/2019 07:53

I never realised it was such an issue. My dog is off lead most of the time in our local park and unless people tell me there's a problem with their dogs I let him play. He's really sweet with nervous dogs and won't go to them unless they approach him.
That's how people are having poor situations though.
A nervous dog may look like they're approaching but they're scared.

People shouldn't be expecting the world to be psychic and place their dog on a lead because theirs is, but if your dog is off lead then it shouldn't be going anywhere near on lead dogs. It doesn't matter if you think your dog is sweet.

The whole "I just let them play" isn't a good enough reason. My dogs are friendly and confident and have still had moments where they've ran back to me because someone's dog is "just wanting to play" and is "friendly" and yet me and other people out with our dogs know that dog is dominant and liable to snap at other dogs. My confident dogs handle it well. A fearful dog would be terrified.

Maneandfeathers · 30/10/2019 10:03

I never realised it was such an issue. My dog is off lead most of the time in our local park and unless people tell me there's a problem with their dogs I let him play.

But there is an issue. I don’t want my dogs to play with others. I train mine to focus on me and me only, I don’t want them to think it’s okay to go running off playing with random dogs because it’s not what I want from them. My dogs don’t see other dogs as a source of fun and completely ignore other dogs which is how I like them, it makes walks 100 times easier when I don’t have to worry about mine running off to find a playmate.

LolaSmiles · 30/10/2019 10:12

To be fair mane if that's how you want to train them then that's your choice, but part of training is training around distractions and part of dog walking is there will be other dogs off lead with owners who are happy for their dogs to play. The fact some owners let their dogs play together is neither here nor there.

Whilst Melba is wrong for thinking they "oh they just want to play and they're so sweet" is acceptable, plenty of posters on here who think the world should cater to their personal preferences with their dogs are also unreasonable

Mine enjoy playing with other dogs. I don't worry about them running off to find a playmate, because if I don't want them going off they don't go off, if I call them they come back, if we see a dog I don't want them approaching they either sit and wait or they return to me. There are many other dogs who DO enjoy playing with other dogs and that's also totally reasonable.

SuitablyDull · 30/10/2019 10:34

It drives me mad. My dog is fine with other dogs, she is fairly well trained and has great recall...but there are times she is on a lead (livestock, lots of people/dogs, I'm also trying to corral a toddler, lead training to keep her sharp) and the amount of people who just allow their dogs to race up to us drives me mad...the worst 8n our area are the dog walkers who bring 7 or 8 d9gs at a time out walking and have no idea how to control them. We have 3 or 4 dog walkers that if we see their vans we continue to another area rather than risk walking and being mobbed.

I've also been verbally attacked by a Walker with a reactive German Shepherd who lurches on the lead at other dogs and prams because I let my dog off the lead and told her to walk on as I had my toddler who I wanted to carry to keep him out of harms way because despite being on the lead this guy was not in control.

nicannie · 30/10/2019 10:36

I'm one of those dog owners who puts both mine on a lead when I see other dogs, purely because I have one who's reactive to other dogs and one who will approach other dogs and not read warning signs.

If I see people do this, I usually tend to keep my two away, and I'd expect others to do the same for us. We have had people then approach us like what happened with you and say 'our dog is friendly ur fine' but we just respond saying 'one of ours isn't overly friendly'

CuriousaboutSamphire · 30/10/2019 15:24

It's common courtesy to put your dog on a lead if you see other owners doing likewise
Why should another dog owner put their dog on a lead because I've decided to put mine on

Because that is what dog walking etiquette is these days. Every dog trainer on or off line says the same. If you are walking your dog off lead and meet another and see the owner clip its lead on it is polite to recall your dog and, if necessary, put its lead on.

You have no idea whay the other owner made their decision but you can assume that their dog is unhappy interacting with others. So keep your dog well away from them and under control, calm. For may that means putting it on a lead. If yours have absolutely rock solid recall and won't twitch if the other dog is highly reactive then all is fine with not putting a lead on it.

But if you meet me with my boisterous pup and your dog comes over for a friendly greeting don't be surprised when mine starts turning exuberant cartwheels and yours suddenly gets defensive / aggressive. That happens to me daily. Owners stalk off muttering about my dog's behaviour or are shocked that he elicited such a repsonse from their dog. Yep! That's why he is on a lead... and why yours probably should have been!

GeraldineFangedVagine · 30/10/2019 15:29

My dog is always on the lead as she doesn’t really understand recall. She’s quite scared of every other dog that doesn’t look like she does (greyhound) so gets very stressed and tries to bolt when other dogs approach. The number of people who shout that their dog is only friendly is crazy. My dog would never go for another dog but she might run away and get hurt. I would do exactly the same as you op and move away from you if you put yours on a lead.

LolaSmiles · 30/10/2019 15:34

Because that is what dog walking etiquette is these days. Every dog trainer on or off line says the same. If you are walking your dog off lead and meet another and see the owner clip its lead on it is polite to recall your dog and, if necessary, put its lead on.
But you're being reasonable there. That's not what's been seen in places on this thread.
Recall my dog, fine and I do that.
Tell my dog to stop and wait, fine and I do that too.
Being told that I must put a lead on because someone else has put their dog on a lead and I should somehow have the psychic powers to know why their dog is on a lead, not a chance.

No dog should be bounding up to an on lead dog, but it's not for people to decide the options are on a lead or out of control, which is what some have done on here (and I've seen it offline too when damn know it alls with badly behaved dogs seem to feel the need to tell me to control my off lead dogs who walk to heel and return to whistle commands)

Maneandfeathers · 30/10/2019 15:48

@LolaSmiles I don’t really mind if anyone has theres off lead as long as they don’t bother mine. I’ve trained mine around distractions, they would walk to heel off a cliff if I told them too. It’s common courtesy to ask if my dogs are okay to play before allowing your dog to bound up to mine.
If other people want their dogs to run riot then they can but it’s not fair to those with old/injured/nervous/aggressive dogs to force them to interact if they don’t want too!

CuriousaboutSamphire · 30/10/2019 15:50

@LolaSmiles I was agreeing with you but I seem to be losing my first sentences a lot at the moment! Literally, they disappear as I post!

Had it still been there then the subsequent use of "you" would have ade more sense, as in not you specifically, but all the other 'yous' walking around with poorly trained dogs and no idea how to manage them on a walk!

My apologes for further irritating you Smile

LolaSmiles · 30/10/2019 15:53

Maneandfeathers
That's cool then and I agree with you.
I think some on this thread seem to selectively ignore the fact that there's lots of well trained off lead dogs and responsible owners when taking the "if you don't match mine on a lead then you're rude and unreasonable" approach.

Mine are off lead and before approaching dogs with owners they stop and sit and then look to me or the other dog's owner before approaching. The exception is if there's a group of dogs all chasing etc then they'll go and join in unless I give a command. If I want them back then a whistle command has them back. If they're unsure then they trot back to me and wait for me to approach with them if appropriate.

It really annoys me then when I have encounters with people telling me I should have them on a lead because they want their dogs on / their poorly trained off lead dog is choosing to follow mine whilst they give ineffective commands etc

LolaSmiles · 30/10/2019 15:56

CuriousaboutSamphire
I read it as a general "you" don't worry Smile

I feel the same about poorly trained dogs. I just wish more people would do what you (and some others) have done which is be aware and considerate of the fact that it's not lead Vs poorly trained and actually there's lots of decent off lead dogs with responsible owners.

Zaphodsotherhead · 30/10/2019 16:03

Sometimes though the lead is just 'shorthand' for 'my dog is under control'.

If you walk your dog through a field of sheep and the farmer sees your dog is off the lead, they may well shout quite a lot of abuse at you, even if your dog isn't chasing, is walking to heel and is avoiding eye contact with the sheep to the extent of walking in the hedge!

The farmer doesn't know whether your dog is rock solid and will not chase a sheep even if that sheep has half a pound of steak strapped to it. All they can see is a dog that is not on the lead.

However, you could have your dog on the lead walking through those sheep, and your dog could be of a size and temperament that, should it wish, it could whip the lead out of your hand or drag you along as it chased the sheep. But the farmer will not shout at you, because you dog is on the lead.*

unless the dog does* drag you/the lead and chase, of course.