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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what you’d think if you saw someone putting their dog on a lead?

145 replies

LionsShare · 29/10/2019 13:59

I always think they don’t want me to go near their dog so stay away or walk further away from them.

When I was walking my dog today I put her on the lead because she can sometimes be reactive to other dogs. Mostly she’s fine but she was attacked and gets scared if dogs approach her sometimes and I could tell she was in one of those moods today so I put her on the lead as the other dog was approaching and started walking a bit away from them. The man kept coming directly towards me, he had a big husky so thought I was putting her on because I was worried his dog would be aggressive. He kept walking towards me saying it’s ok he’ll only want to play, I was like I know but my dog won’t want to Hmm

Am I unreasonable in thinking if you see someone recall their dog and put them on a lead you stay away? Not sure what else I could have done to keep her away? She started showing her teeth, she doesn’t go for the dogs just warns them away because of her fear, but I always worry about the other dog reacting to her and things escalating.

We have been going to training classes and she is getting better but doesn’t like dogs who jump around her still. Walking past dogs etc she’s absolutely fine.

OP posts:
ArseDarkly · 29/10/2019 15:21

Yes I would assume there was an issue with your dog - either nervous or aggressive/boisterous or both and would give you a wide berth.

I wouldn't put my dog on a lead though as and I don't want to make too big a 'thing' out of it which would tend to make mine nervous and upset.

TheHoundsofLove · 29/10/2019 15:30

I've got a rescue dog who is quite often frightened of other dogs (not always - it's unpredictable) and so is always on her lead if we see other dogs around. I don't expect others to necessarily put their dogs on a lead, as long as they won't approach us. Twice in the last week, I've actually had to turn round and walk back the opposite way as people have let their dogs run up to my dog on her lead and they've either taken ages to get their dogs back or just not bothered. On both occasions, my dog has been visibly terrified and it really sets our training back - she's much better than when I got her but can no way cope with off-lead dogs running up to her. Tbh, I understand that accidents sometimes happen and that people don't always see us in time etc.. so am pretty forgiving as long as people then apologise and get their dogs back quickly. But, too many people just don't seem bothered. To me, it's always been an unwritten rule of dog walking - if you see another dog on their lead, you keep your dogs away.

Orangecake123 · 29/10/2019 15:34

I'd think "good".

I've never let the dog I walked for a friend off it.

doginthemanger · 29/10/2019 15:40

My rescue lurcher is reactive to other dogs that are too close and is always walked on the lead.
I'm still annoyed at myself for apologising to a dog owner who let his dog run up to mine two days running, resulting in mine lunging and barking.
The first time I could understand but the next day he saw us coming and didn't, or couldn't, call his dog back.
No idea of etiquette, and no willingness to learn. He didn't apologise to me either time.

MotherAbigail · 29/10/2019 15:45

I always put mine on leads when I see families with small children approaching as they are big, goofy bulldogs (with only 90% reliable recall so o don’t like to chance it) and are likely to knock them over in their enthusiasm. People see me do this and keep heading directly for us with their small free roaming children, occasionally kicking balls towards the dogs, which gets them excited. I wish they would assume that the dogs are best avoided to be honest, it’s much less stressful for all concerned.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 29/10/2019 15:48

It is a global sign to keep your dog away, isn't it? Dog trainers make a point of sayng it umpty ump times in every puppy class, it's all over internet training pages etc.

I have a bouncy, over friendly, not all that polite, I wanna play puppy. He is on a lead, he gets told to sit whenever another dog comes close. I have him quite well controlled an I tell them he has few manners and annoys older dogs with his pushiness... but still I get moaned at when they walk their dog over to him and they 'just let them meet each other'. Mine bounce, their growls and often gets very aggreessive. Mine stays bouncy, whining 'play with me, play with me' like a toal noob, as they stalk off muttering that their dog has NEVER done that before!

Trainer thinks it is hilarious. He's a happy, friendly pup, just can't rein himself in to shake hands and introduce himself formally.

ShipShapeandBristolFashion · 29/10/2019 15:52

Yes when someone puts their dog in a lead I assume I should keep away. BUT you’re at risk of giving your dog issues if you are constantly clipping them on through fear or ‘just in case’. They’ll think “my owner feels this situation is scary, so I should be on my guard”.

Cherrysoup · 29/10/2019 15:53

Mine is terrified of other dogs after being attacked as a pup. Yes, he’s been to multiple trainers/classes/behaviourists. Ultimately, he now is too scared and reactive so I refuse to put him under stressful situations and he goes on the lead and preferably behind railings to keep him feeling safe. I bloody loathe the idiots who shout ‘He’s friendly’ as their invariably ill-trained, fuck all recall dog bounds up to me and I have to try to get away.

I was apparently to blame for putting him on a lead after I saw another dog who then galloped over to jump on him-my fault, he should have a big warning sign above him or be on a lead. He needs to be exercised and is fine unless another dog leaps on him. How about you let me walk my dog without letting your untrained lump upset him?

PineappleLumps · 29/10/2019 15:54

I do it with my dog incase ppl don’t want her Approaching them . She’s soft as grease but if someone’s nervous then they shouldn’t have my lab bounding up to them.

NKFell · 29/10/2019 16:15

Dogs are always off the lead in a massive park in my extremely dog friendly town and the general rule is, if someone is walking around the park on the footpath with a dog on a lead, don't let your dog approach.

So, no I wouldn't put mine on a lead but I would make sure they were no where near the dog on lead.

TheHoundsofLove · 29/10/2019 16:23

ShipShape I agree in the case of dogs who are well socialised and generally fine in the company of other dogs. But, what else can you realistically and safely do when your dog is unpredictable around others? As long as people don't let dogs run up to her, she's doing well with the treats and 'look at me' approach. At least being on a lead gives a clear signal (or should do) that she's nervous.

LaurieSchafferIsAllBitterNow · 29/10/2019 16:24

As soon as I spotted a dog on a lead or a stranger I used to put mine on the lead or get a hold of their collars as they were both extra large GSDs and in any given situation they will be blamed for everything.
Then we'd meet and greet and snick off the leads and off we'd go...friends!

People are suspicious of the breed, however once people knew they were both failed Guide Dogs they couldn't get their hands on them quick enough.

Gotaprettypup · 29/10/2019 16:27

I would think:
reactive therefore keep distance,
still needs training to behave,
being trained,
nervous owner,
nervous dog.

I put mine on a lead because she is still being trained and I'm trying to avoid her getting into bad habits.

MoaningMinniee · 29/10/2019 16:34

This is all the sort of thing that should be part of the Dog Test that I believe every dog keeper should have to take before they can have a licence to own one. We all accept the necessity to take and pass a test before we can drive a car, and to have third party liability insurance. Why not the same for dogs, which are also capable of killing and injuring people if incorrectly handled?

Original poster
LionsShare · 29/10/2019 16:34

@ShipShapeandBristolFashion yes I agree with you. But in a situation where she could possibly snap at another dog, hasn’t happened yet but I worry if the other dog reacted back that it could, I’d rather be able to keep her under control next to me on the lead.

I don’t always put her on the lead walking past other dogs. Most of the time she’s fine, if I’ve seen a dog who is bouncy and have seen them run up other dogs though then I will get her and put her on the lead because I know that’s a trigger for her.

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 29/10/2019 16:43

MoaningMinniee
What? Given owners may put their dog on a lead for any number of reasons and it's probably not for strangers to decide what they think the reason is, what reasons would be the approved responses?
Say the approved expectation is that anyone seeing a dog going on its lead should be duty bound to change direction and go nowhere near the on lead dog, who decides what happens when there's a path in a park and 5 dogs? Is it whoever fusses the most about their dog gets to decide the others should be in trouble?

It's all well and good people going on about a dog licence etc but what exactly would it be preventing? Do you seriously think that sitting some test is going to make people amazing?

Crass12 · 29/10/2019 16:57

Dog Test Confused

Cryalot2 · 29/10/2019 17:14

As the owner of a small breed dog I only use a lead in public places.

There is nothing dangerous about her, its just most public places stipulate that dogs are to be kept on a lead. It also makes sure as owners we never miss cleaning up when she toilets .
We realise that not everyone is a dog lover and I used to be terrified of dogs that were not on a lead.
It varies depending on dog and owner.
We either use a standard lead or extending.

Its sometimes a safety issue for the dog .
Whilst I expect lashed for saying I use a lead in public, she has plenty of freedom at home .

TheHoundsofLove · 29/10/2019 17:19

I think the issue really is that people who have never had a reactive dog, just can't imagine what it's like. And I do understand that as all my other dogs have only been too happy to play. That's why an apology is usually enough for me.

underground76 · 29/10/2019 17:30

I wouldn't make any assumptions - ie I wouldn't automatically think the dog was reactive. But I would certainly assume that the owner was signalling that they didn't want their dog to play with mine (whether that's because the dog is reactive, or super-excitable, or hard to recall, or in season, or being trained to ignore distractions, or any number of other things) so I'd call my own dog away or put my dog on the lead too until I'd passed by.

I walk my sister's dog quite a lot and although he isn't reactive, he is an ancient skinny greyhound with arthritis so boisterous dogs can easily hurt him just by jostling him or jumping around him. Someone's golden retriever bounced all over him recently and he yelped when it bumped against his legs and then growled when the retriever tried to do it again.

Most owners call their own dog away when they see us put him on the lead but some owners think that you are concerned about their big bouncy dog being aggressive and say 'Oh, he's just a puppy, he'll just want to play!' when in fact, the playfulness is actually the problem.

CalamityJune · 29/10/2019 17:30

I get this all the time. Our dog is really reactive to other dogs and doesn't have good recall so is always on an extendable lead. I always have him on a short lead when we pass people and dogs. Nevertheless, often other dogs will come running up to him with their owners assuring me that their's are friendly Hmm.

It just makes me that really their dog's recall is no better than mine, they just don't feel the need to do it.

Groovinpeanut · 29/10/2019 17:34

It's common courtesy to put your dog on a lead if you see other owners doing likewise. Sadly some people have no manners though unfortunately.

SnugglySnerd · 29/10/2019 17:37

I would think the same as you. I don't even have a dog! 2 yo dd is really nervous of dogs though so I am always very grateful to owners who out them on the lead. The fear was caused by one of the "it's ok he just wants to play" brigade when she had just started walking and was knocked over by an enthusiastic labrador in the park.

LolaSmiles · 29/10/2019 17:39

It's common courtesy to put your dog on a lead if you see other owners doing likewise
Why should another dog owner put their dog on a lead because I've decided to put mine on?
One of my dogs loves water. If I've not got towels with me then they go on the lead at their normal swimming/splashing spots. Their recall and training is good, but it's better to remove temptation. It's ridiculous to expect other owners to see me put my dog on a lead and do likewise.

Courtesy would be to not have their dog bound up to an on lead dog, which is fairly standard. All this "I put my dog on so everyone else should do too" is ridiculous and up there with "if I put my dog on a lead other people should be psychic, work out the reason and ensure they go out of their way to change their walk pattern because I have a dog on a lead".

meyouandlulutoo · 29/10/2019 17:41

I think like you, if I see someone put their dog on a lead, or is already on a lead, we put our dogs on leads and stay out of their space. I also sometimes put one of our dogs on a lead because she can be overly sociable which is a pain to some dogs.

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