To think 5 month old daytime naps shouldn't be this hard? (PLEASE HELP)

[Loaf90]

I'm at my wits end. Over the last few weeks (from 4 and a half months) my 5 month old DS has become increasingly resistive to napping during the day. I'm writing this after half an hour spent trying to help him settle in his travel cot for a nap. He's screamed so much that he's made himself retch despite me being there next to him, shhing/ patting etc. He's eventually fallen asleep on my shoulder. I know I can put him down now that he's actually already asleep but it's far from an ideal situation. In face even getting him to fall asleep on my shoulder is becoming increasingly difficult. He thrashes about and cries and I have to really work to get him to relax.

I'm really at a point where I can't see the wood from the trees. I don't know what I should be doing to improve the situation.

He isn't like this at night - he isn't a great sleeper but can be put down awake and will quickly settle himself to sleep. He'll also self settle quickly after nighttime feeds. He has a very solid night time routine so I don't know whether I should be introducing a daytime nap routine? He also sleeps really well in the car and out about in the pram.

Please someone give me some pointers as I'm starting to really dread days in the house seeing him get so worked up and upset. I feel as though I've gone seriously wrong along the way somewhere

What would he prefer to do when you're trying to settle him? Does he want to sleep but in your arms? Or does he want to play/be awake?

I can only speak from my experience as we went through exactly the same thing with my DS at that age, suddenly really started fighting naps. Nothing you are doing wrong I think they just are getting so much more aware of everything at that age. It may not work for you, but what worked for us was establishing a nap time routine similar to bedtime routine but shorter (I did nappy change, book, make room dark and turned on white noise machine, lullaby then into sleepbag and bed where he sleeps at night - about 5-10 mins). Took a few days and still about 10-15 mins of resistance at each nap but better than 30+ mins before. I tried to get at least 1 good nap in the cot and timed car journeys to coincide with his last catnap of the day if I could. Good luck

I've never put any of mine down for a nap. If they fell asleep, they fell asleep. No fighting that way.

I did the same as hungryhippie, I let daytime naps happen as and when they happened so there was no fighting it.

I agree with the last 2 posters. My daughter very very rarely napped at that age. She slept really well at night and didn't seem to get to the overtired stage so I didn't bother trying to get her to nap.

And if he does seem to really need a nap, can't you take him out in the car or pram so you get some time out of the house and get to do some errands.

I stressed so much about naps with my first but with my second I just went with it and didn’t worry too much about it if he didn’t nap. Neither of mine would be put down for naps until they were much older, they only napped on one of us or dropped off in the car

Both of my DC stopped naps at around 5 mths old, they just weren't tired enough. It did mean bedtime was brought forward an hour or so as they were very tired by then, but went down with no problems and slept all night. (babies were weaned earlier than they are now though, so that might change things for you with night feeds etc)

You will find a solution that works for you and your DC, just try to relax and remember, they don't HAVE to nap, just see what works best for your family and routine.

I second the PP who says about a good routine for naps too.
I also disagree with people saying a five month old doesn't need to nap. I've never met a baby that small that can stay awake all day! Sleep is so key to their development. There are some rare babies who do just fall asleep when they're tired but most don't and need help from us, I'd keep persisting with the routine for a week or so at home and then it should be easier to encourage sleep wherever you are.

I gave up on routine daytime naps with dd1, she just napped in the pushchair, car or playmat. If I ever tried to put her in her cot she'd just cry. It wasn't worth the stress for either of us. Your ds is settling well at night & that's when it's important.
I did used to get a bit fed up when friends' babies would go down for 2 hour naps though! It would be 20 mins max for us & then awake. She was ok at night though.
I think personality can come into it. Dd is 18 now & still doesn't need much sleep.

Are you perhaps going a bit too long between naps and he's overtired? DS is younger (4.5 months) but can only rarely stretch to 2.5hours between naps, usually more like 2. Or conversely, not waiting long enough so he's not tired enough and then outraged to be put down on his own?!

I follow some baby sleep people on Insta, I find Lucy Wolfe very good (also have her book but it's really for 6m+) and also just chill mama. They might have some good tips?

I found naps indoors a struggle too from around 4 weeks old. My daughter really needed to nap- she was exhausted- but only slept for half an hour and only if pushed in buggy or out in car. She created an almighty fuss if i tried to get her to sleep indoors. She needed four of these a day as well so I was constantly facilitating naps in a way that afforded me no down time. She just gradually started growing out of it. I noticed at around the six-month mark that indoors started to become possible and I concentrated hard on making them work. Her cot gradually became the place she naps best. Now, at 22 months, she naps reliably once a day for an hour and a half at least in her cot, and has been doing this for months.

So you might just have a baby of similar disposition. It happened to a friend of mine with her eldest. She's just had her second and he's completely different- naps easily. I'm 38 weeks pg at the moment and hoping for a more easy napper this time around.

Good luck. It's tough but, as with everything baby related, is likely to change as your baby grows up a bit. I despaired a lot about this and it turns out I just had to weather it.

Also, my daughter was not the same at night either and went to sleep at night easily then slept well.

Both mine napped when they fell asleep, I never had a set time etc. Sometimes they didn’t nap and fell asleep earlier in the evening. Our view was whatever, as long as they were happy, then we went with the flow. I don’t recall any ‘crying’ days trying to get them to sleep.

I dare say he's not tired and wants to be awake.. a baby who wants to sleep will generally sleep. I was also fighting with DD and it was making us both miserable - she sleeps when she needs to now and has dropped naps etc. To her own schedule and all have worked out great.

Mine has never gone down in a cot (ever! Co sleeps at night) But will sleep in the sling A LOT and at 6m started to sleep in the pram as long as put in super tired.

How many naps a day is he having? My son went from 3 naps to 2 at this age.

How long is he awake for before his naps?

I used to rock my DD to sleep in my arms whilst sat on the sofa until she dropped her naps (2.5 yo). We had such a good routine that she'd go within 1 minute. You do what you have to!

DS resisted when he was overtired. But the time I saw him yawning, it was too late - getting him to sleep would be a nightmare.

I got it down to a fine art in the end. I didn’t use timings but would just watch his cues - so for example, he’d go from smiling 100% of the time to 90%, and then he’d do a little head drop. At that point I’d lift him and hold him to sleep.

It didn’t matter what time it was - different activities resulted In different levels of tiredness. If we’d just been in the house all morning he’d nap later, but if he’d been around people he’d need a much earlier nap as the new faces seemed to wipe him out.

Try just watching him and taking note of his behaviour. It worked for me, and of course that doesn’t mean it’ll work for you but it’s worth a try.

Good luck OP, it’s hard work I know

Also, I just held him when he napped. He never napped in a cot for me, ever, but slept well at night.

DD (6 months) doesn't have a set routine for napping. I go by her cues and she tends to go down easily.

I tried hungry hippies approach. It did not work. He literally never ever fell asleep and would turn into a screaming over tired mess.

So after a few terrible weeks I resorted to routine and bam. Sorted.

Mini bedtime routine - story, darkened room, music on cot monitor. Regular naps at same time each day (morning nap, early afternoon nap, then usually 20 mins in the car or pram on the way home from somewhere. It took about 2 weeks and then he was a brilliant napper! Some kids thrive on routine.

Babies have a sleep regression at 4 or 5 months old. This is all due to development patterns.

It's really hard. My daughter was literally satan every time she had a regression. But power through. Keep to your established routine and find out the way he likes to be soothed best.

My daughter insisted on being held and rocked but she liked her dream sheep on playing heart sounds to help her drift off.
As long as the dream sheep was playing when you first put her in her cot she was happy to nap in there every time lol

If he sleeps in his buggy outside, can you try him in there for daytime sleeps at home? Wheel him round the house or up and down the street and wheel him indoors once asleep?

Have you tried giving him some calpol or nurofen? I put a lot of my dd’s bad sleeping down to teething pain.

It’s worth reviewing his nap schedule and maybe looking up some information about recommended schedules (how many hours on average a five month old goes between naps etc).

If he goes to sleep on your shoulder I would just go with it for now. There’s an element of peace to be found in dropping the battle for a bit and resetting.