To think 5 month old daytime naps shouldn't be this hard? (PLEASE HELP)

[Loaf90]

I'm at my wits end. Over the last few weeks (from 4 and a half months) my 5 month old DS has become increasingly resistive to napping during the day. I'm writing this after half an hour spent trying to help him settle in his travel cot for a nap. He's screamed so much that he's made himself retch despite me being there next to him, shhing/ patting etc. He's eventually fallen asleep on my shoulder. I know I can put him down now that he's actually already asleep but it's far from an ideal situation. In face even getting him to fall asleep on my shoulder is becoming increasingly difficult. He thrashes about and cries and I have to really work to get him to relax.

I'm really at a point where I can't see the wood from the trees. I don't know what I should be doing to improve the situation.

He isn't like this at night - he isn't a great sleeper but can be put down awake and will quickly settle himself to sleep. He'll also self settle quickly after nighttime feeds. He has a very solid night time routine so I don't know whether I should be introducing a daytime nap routine? He also sleeps really well in the car and out about in the pram.

Please someone give me some pointers as I'm starting to really dread days in the house seeing him get so worked up and upset. I feel as though I've gone seriously wrong along the way somewhere

Are you putting him down in a room with you? Living room etc?
At 6 months I was putting my LO down to nap upstairs in the dark. 45 mins morning nap about 2.5 hours after morning wake up time, so if baby wakes at 7, aim for them being settled by half 9.
Take baby upstairs about 15 mins before and get into sleep bag, lights off or dimmed and just relax with them, give them 5-10 mins to unwind then go into settling mode.

Do same routine for lunch nap as well about 2.5-3 hours after they wake from morning nap.

Personally for me a routine was essential, baby was a terror until I started to stick to rough timings, it’s not a perfect science and there were days it all went to pot but always thought 5/7 days sticking to routine was good enough. He’s 14 months now and goes down for 2 hours across lunchtime with very little drama

DS1 would only ever nap if driven out in the car, which I resorted to just to get a break. Until he was one, then he never napped again.
DS2 napped for two hours every afternoon until he was three. I was determined to do it differently and just put him down at the same time with a blanket in a darkened room and shut the door.
They're teens now, but I still remember the stress with DS1 of the dreaded nap.

I just take mine out for a walk in the pram. It’s guaranteed to work, there’s no frustration at trying to get him to nap, and I enjoy walking anyway. He’s 9 months now and has just this week had a couple of naps in the cot which is great for me getting on with stuff but the walks are more enjoyable

Oh for one of these mythical babies that just falls asleep when tired! None of mine have been like that

I've had a nap routine for all of mine. My 6 month old currently does 45 mins in the morning and 2.5 hrs in the afternoon and still does 12 hrs at night. The other two have been the same. The lunch nap allows me to reboot and keep my sanity. It's all about routine.

If only it were that simple as so many of you are making out ....

Mine doesn't really nap (he's 6 months this weekend). He does 12 hours awake and 12 hours asleep, same as his 3yo brother. Occasionally he will get a quick 20 minute cat nap, but some days he doesn't sleep at all. I feed him lying on a pillow on the sofa so if he wanted to sleep he would. Some babies just don't need as much sleep - my mum says me and my brother didn't nap in the day either.

(^obviously, this is an opinion not medical advice etc etc. I'm just saying I don't push naps if my baby doesn't want them and isn't acting overtired)

Ds is just 5 months and generally naps 2-3 times daily but not to a schedule.

He’s has NEVER had a nap in his cot. All naps have always been either in car or buggy if out or while being cuddled if we’re home.

With dd I spent hours trying to get routines etc for naps and it stressed me out. So I’ve taken a different approach this time.

My baby is a few weeks younger than yours but he’s awake most of the day ( but sleeps a good 10 hours over night) He likes to go for an hour or so within an hour of his first feed of the day and then after that it will just be brief naps out in pram or in car. What used to be a cue for a nap a few weeks ago now seems to be him letting me know he wants to play, so it’s down in the play gym he goes and we have a play together for a a bit then if I leave him too it he might sneak 40 winks while he’s there.
Maybe your baby is just ready to drop a nap OP?

As your baby goes down well at night I would mimic parts of the nighttime routine in the day too. That is what I used to do with my son.

So usually that was nappy change, into a lightweight gro bag and then bottle then down in a dark room.

I can't remember the exact pattern but I fell in to a pattern of two ishhour/40 min naps so if he woke at 6.30 I would keep him up till close to 9 and start nap routine. Then up for two ish hours and nap again through to bed time.

Watch for the signs - yawning and bags under the eye. If I put him down too early the screaming would start. As he got older the awake time got longer.

Not all naps were in the cot, we would head out and he would have some in his pram but generally the 9am nap was at home and that set up the day.

And once they get post 6 months and you are down to the one nap - the key then is the long nap.

My son was great for 40 mins but wouldn't self settle for another cycle - once they are down for one long one - I used to watch out for the 40 min mark and once he was stirring nip in and shush pop dummy back in. He then learned and would roll over for another cycle.

My DS napped on me/in my arms or in the car/pushchair at that age. I couldn’t put him down on his own.

I don't have an answer but I'm curious to know! Dd2 will only nap if held or if in the buggy. Even then the latter only keeps her asleep for a short while (15mins tops) if it's not moving. She sleeps like a dream at night though thankfully. Dd1 didn't like napping until around a year iirc, when she went down to two naps it was easier to put her down after she was asleep, then she would sleep in a still buggy from around 15mo for the naps. I tried dd2 in the buggy the other day but it failed miserably.