to be upset by half term

[nomoreclue]

It happens every school holiday actually. Me and my kids (primary aged) have no friends! I play date constantly, make as much social effort as I can but when the holidays hit its silence. I know the other parents are playdating because of photos I see on social media. I reached out to the mum of one of my sons friends to see about a get together but she’s “so busy” but she’ll “try and squeeze us in”
Where am I going wrong? I feel pretty depressed today. My kids seem popular. They don’t have loads of friends but they’ve got a few good friends but we never get any school holiday offers. Is it just me? I just don’t know what to do. I’m seriously thinking of moving schools/areas just so we can get a fresh start and the chance of meeting new people! AIBU

Half term I just like to spend time with my own dc not other people’s. And not really my adult friends either as it takes away from me giving my dc attention.

We are often fully booked during holidays, in the whole summer holidays we had 3 days left to ourselves after I blanked out our 11 days holiday, the 5 days the kids went to their dads, one day a week of the remaining weeks to one set of grandparents, one singular day to the other grandparents, 3 days of looking after my friends kids, 2 days set aside to sort school shoes etc, a day with my brother and his step kid, and a day each with close family friends who we don't get to see unless it's booked in the diary on the one day a week they have off work.
There was no time for school friends and to be honest I think they need a break from them as they've been with them all term.

Make your own plans and go on plenty of days out with your own kids. At this time of year, there are lots of free and cheap activities on. Take lots of photos and post them on social media. Then, just as you're seeing your local acquaintances social media posts about all the fun they're having, they'll see yours, and just as you want to join in with them, they might well want to join in with you.

Also, just try not to sound too needy. Rather than try to organise a playdate as such, why not get in touch with a couple of mums and say "Hey, I'm planning on taking my kids trampolining (or whatever) on Thursday morning. Feel free to join us if you want." Or perhaps look forward to the Xmas holidays and plan an activity then - "We thought we'd go to see Santa at the garden centre on the Monday before Christmas if anyone wants to join us."

We went from pre and early Primary school years - just us in holidays - kids and me all day - leaving me with a lot of time to fill - to end of primary to raspberryk position very little free time.

Wider family wanting the DC or vists, DH being around more and taking time off, normal lessons and groups continuing and things we always booked and loved being booked early and suddenly people wanting to come over is really hard to fit in - it's a very different position to find ourselves in though I do remember how hard those early school holidays were.

I think the people who meet up in holidays are usually the ones where the parents are friends. They probably know each other really well. By the time they get a bit older they will arrange to meet their own friends if they want to but tbh your children probably just want time with you.

You need to build your own life, OP, the school gate isn’t the best place to do that.

Your over thinking it. I don't think you are doing anything wrong. In the holidays people make plans, go on holidays, see family etc. Also a lot of partners take the time off so they have time as a family, it's not surprising most people are busy. I have a couple of close friends with similar age children and they are the only people I see in the holidays, if anyone. It can be lonely, but just get out there to some Halloween events and you'll no doubt bump into some of your children's friends. Maybe next half term invite a couple of your children's friends for tea a good week or so in advance. If all goes well you might get the favour returned and forge a closer mum friendship with one or two of their friends mums

Don’t move schools because of this .
We had this , as a lot went away as they had funds to do so . My dc were bored some half terms and it was hard as friends told them about amazing centre parks trips , holidays abroad etc .
To be honest due to this we
Planned way ahead
Had a fab Halloween party
Inviting those who were around
Did childcare ; got used ! For those needing it to provide a gang which I took out n about
Planned meals / treats out in country or sea or city . I get your feeling - don’t feel alone op . We had similar .

Just use the time to chill ! If your DC have friends and are generally happy at School, then it would be mad to move them! Sometimes its nice just to hunker down together ,or maybe go swimming /park shopping and so on .The pictures on SM are probably just a few mums who like to meet up ,and probably the rest of the class are doing their own thing too !

This thread is fascinating. I've given up trying to organise things in the holidays, everyone is always busy sitting around in pyjamas having family time. :D

It's nice to be reminded it's nothing personal

I took my kids away for half-term they needed a break from school & petty squabbles!

I think school for children is like work for adults we need a holiday for a change of scene and rest🤣

I always get nervous when asked on a playdate for the day. My kids are quite physical (rough play) and it gets a bit much when we are with others. I prefer to stay with the same group that understand the situation.

I think your focus has skewed

If you had no social media, you wouldn't know others had met up and you would be happily spending quality time with your kids

Knowing that they are has given you FOMO and social anxiety and that sense of inadequacy "why is everyone having fun without me?" Is it me? Is it my kids? That wouldn't be there if you were oblivious to the plans of others

There's nothing wrong with you or your kids.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent

I actively avoid meeting up with schoolfriends in the holidays.

As I work, I only have a couple of days off anyway. On those days, I want to see my own kids - not school parents I don't like, and other people's kids. But then I'm a mardy cow

Are there any organised activities for primary aged children near you? We do a lot of that kind of thing and a lot of the time the same children will come so it's a bit like toddler groups but with older ones. My boys went kayaking today. They had a great time and I caught up with some of the other mums who were there in the summer.