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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Name Change - Actually Required?

54 replies

PumpityPumpPump · 28/10/2019 18:03

Do people really get found out on here? I see alot of name change so people don't know it's me, I don't know who you are anyway?

OP posts:
jomaIone · 28/10/2019 18:05

I used to be confused by this too but I think it's more so if the person is recognised from their post, someone who knows them can't search their username and find all their other posts.

Someone may correct me though.

summersherewishiwasnt · 28/10/2019 18:06

Imo the pp has it right.
However, I have definitely recognised people on here from the native, always always change a few details.

Lovestonap · 28/10/2019 18:08

that's right. It's helpful if you want unbiased advice o,n one issue too. And I have recognised someone on here before, simply because her dilemma was so unusual - her user name and a search confirmed it (because I'm bloody nosy). Haven't ever said to her in real life though as that would feel horribly intrusive for her.

Pixiefalls · 28/10/2019 18:09

I have a diverse range of opinions and I think some posters would struggle to reconcile one of my opinions with another so it may skew how they view me. If I want to post for advice on any subject, I name change to something new for each post seeking advice and then abandon that name.

Original poster
PumpityPumpPump · 28/10/2019 18:10

But do people really remember what you have posted in the past?

OP posts:
EbayAddiction · 28/10/2019 18:24

No, they don't necessarily remember but if they search your username they can put all the pieces together. I change my username pretty much every week depending on how much I post. I have recognised someone before on here (and told them so we could both name change). That shook me up!

summersherewishiwasnt · 28/10/2019 18:25

Not always, sometimes. Oddly, people do also advanced search to read all the previous comments a poster has made and then bash them over the head about inconsistency.

Pixiefalls · 28/10/2019 18:27

It's for the advanced search reasons I change. Sometimes I do give away details that can be outing if pieced together so I name change and rein the blabbing in!

Original poster
PumpityPumpPump · 28/10/2019 18:27

Do they? Crikey. 😬

OP posts:
Cocojumbo · 28/10/2019 18:44

Why do you need to tell everyone that you have changed the name at all? Just change the name and write a post.

Iamnotagoddess · 28/10/2019 18:52

I was recognised on here.

I posted about someone I knew did not use MN.

A friend of theirs saw it, told our mutual friend (I don’t really understand why) and ultimately it ended our friendship.

11hairylegs · 28/10/2019 18:54

I think it depends what you post about. If it’s general chat I wouldn’t bother, but anything that you wouldn’t want everyone knowing or something really identifiable then I always change.

Pixiefalls · 28/10/2019 18:57

Why do you need to tell everyone that you have changed the name at all? Just change the name and write a post.

Because you have no posting history under the new name so risk being labelled a troll if the post is controversial, and other posters search for you

Iamnotagoddess · 28/10/2019 18:59

There are some people on MN who have no live and fancy themselves as Poirot.

Iamnotagoddess · 28/10/2019 18:59

*life!!

SunshineAngel · 28/10/2019 19:01

I know two of my friends have accounts on here because of things they've put, so I would understand why people would want to name change.

Transpeaked · 28/10/2019 19:01

Yup - my abusive ex husband found me.

stucknoue · 28/10/2019 19:02

If you reply on a number of topics revealing small amounts of personal info on each, it's possible that cumulatively you can be recognised.

Pixiefalls · 28/10/2019 19:03

A good friends abusive ex also stalks these corridors...

namechanger111 · 28/10/2019 19:03

I posted on here about a very sensitive issue I was having with my extended family at the time.

Ex(now)MIL’s friend recognised the situation, did an advanced search & provided information to exMIL & STBXH which helped to end our marriage.

I now name change regularly- just about to now!

gwackywacky · 28/10/2019 19:04

Because people arent objective. If they recognise your name the thread can get derailed by petty vendettas, and some posters have nothing better to do than actually go searching through posters' histories, again totally derailing the thread.

There was one thread on here though about an Australian woman who was in a really complex situation and loads of posters recognised her despite the NC. They linked to her past threads so I did go and read through them, and its true that what she was presenting in her new thread had a completely different reaction once you knew the back story.

Still in the case of that particular poster I had mixed feelings. On the one hand I was glad people had linked because it meant I didnt waste time replying. On the other hand I felt bad that somebody who was clearly in whatever way distressed wasnt able to have people reply to her new thread as a consequence...

Iusedtobeskinny · 28/10/2019 19:05

Yes, I have had someone trawl through my account and work out who I was, posting that elsewhere on the Internet.
I had no idea of the stalking abilities of some very bored people.

Iamnotagoddess · 28/10/2019 19:07

I also have a friend who reads MN but is banned who stalks me so I namechange when I realise he’s found me again “waves” “Hi lovely” Grin

Pinkblueberry · 28/10/2019 19:12

I presume there are people on here who know each other in real life and know each other’s user names? Otherwise I don’t know either as usually the content is what’s outing rather than the name. I don’t really understand why people tell you that they have name changed in the first place - I wouldn’t know/ care otherwise.

TheresWaldo · 28/10/2019 19:13

There used to be a poster who was almost guaranteed to find your rl name,address, childrens schools etc based on past posts. Not done maliciously I hasten to add, but to show that one user name can bring up a huge amount of telling history over time. NCing is sensible imho. But to be fair, if you post the same stuff, in the same way, you will probably remain recognizable to some.