To ask if anyone chooses to spend Christmas alone?

[supercee]

I have a fairly small family with no kids. Christmas usually consists of me going to my parents (I'm late 30's and single) and maybe one of my two siblings will be there, otherwise they would be on holiday or with their partner.

I don't have the best relationship with my mother and there have been many times we haven't been speaking over Christmas. This year we have been fine until now, it's has kicked off again (for various reasons).

I have always entertained the idea of just spending Christmas Day on my own, in my own flat, in my jammies, drinking and eating what the fuck I want. I always feel invisible at my parents house anyway, one particular sibling always dominates conversation and my mum hangs off their every word. My dad due to ill health and alcoholism is very unpredictable and in a hot minute can spoil it (usually for me).

Does anyone else do this? Are you lonely? Do you love it? Is it a case of the idea sounds great but would I be incredibly lonely on the day?

Would they “let” you (leave you to it)or would they use it against you?

Maybe a better question would be does anyone else's family do their nut in so much they happily spend Christmas on their tod and don't regret a second of it?!

Yes they wouldn't give it a second thought. If one or both of my siblings go (maybe likely this year) they would possibly try and get me to go along but my mum wouldn't.

And she wouldn't be bothered either.

I do this. I don't like the whole fuss around Christmas and I hate the dark cold winters so I started going on holidays somewhere sunny (going to SE Asia this year).

But even if I was staying in the UK I would stay home alone. I don't get lonely but I'm introverted and appreciate 'me' time to recharge.

My FIL happily spends Christmas day alone, well just him and the pets, MIL goes to her parents and spends the day with them. She does bring him a dinner back when she comes home. He is always invited but he'd rather just do his own thing

It works well for them.

I did it a few times in my 20s. Lived 300 miles away from family, and only got Xmas day off. I always went out Xmas Eve with friends but had a great day alone on the 25th. Didn't want to go to friends even though I had invites.
Stocked up on m and s food, champagne and dvds. Perfect.

I would love to

Closest I've come is when both parents were alive, I did a half day over there but it upset them a lot

Now it's just mum, but I wouldn't leave her, wouldn't want to. It is likely to be very boring and miserable, yes. When she's gone, I have other family members who would probably invite me but I'd say no and stay home.

One of the big issues is public transport; what could be half a day becomes three, especially if they are a way away.

I just find Xmas weird pointless externally enforced jollity. I'd actually like to spend it in central London and see if it's true that streets are empty!

Go on holiday! That immediately removes the problem.

I had a Christmas on my own about 5 years ago. Mid divorce, the kids went to their dad's, I knew it was the one day no one would bother me. I had offers, and people feeling sorry for me, but I really wanted a peaceful day. I got lovely food and had the best day, I cherish the memory. I say do it, and spoil yourself and enjoy.

Having spent many an xmas day with family who usually drink too much and end up fighting, I have fantasised about spending xmas day on my own for the last 30 years... yet to actually get the chance though

I am trying to make this same decision for similar reasons. Interested in views! I don't want to end up sobbing in front of my boxsets!

Yes, I love it. Nothing like enjoying yourself, doing what you want, eating what you want, drinking what you want, not having to worry about driving or public transport, nobody arguing, no one driving you to tears. Just me and my animals. ❤️

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If your family won't give you a hard time, just fo it and enjoy it!

I've done it a couple of times, went abroad though. And loved the lack of pressure.

I did that a couple of years ago, I thought it would be awful, but it’s got to be one of the best Christmases I ever had. Loved the peace and the time to myself. Didn’t even open my presents. I did go out for a quick drink with my neighbour though, then back home. It was bliss. But I was in a good place mentally, didn’t have any resentments and didn’t feel lonely.

I was single during my early 30's, had my own flat and spent a couple of Christmas's on my own. I loved it. Went out with friends on Christmas Eve, got up Christmas Day, ate what I wanted when I wanted, didn't have to go anywhere. Now I have a family and have to entertain and cook for relatives, I look back at those days fondly.

I’d love a Christmas to myself. Do what I want, eat what I want when I want to eat it. However I can’t due to family pressures. But my time will come.
Just do what you want OP and minimize the hassle as much as possible. There will be other years.

Yes, been there and done it! Bit of a long story which won't describe. You can eat and drink what you like and have a lie in.

I make my home nice and tidy, lots of decorations, dress nicely for myself, sing along to the carols.
I also celebrate what I do not have to go through any more, and I think that you can understand that is half the point. People with happy families don't feel sorry. Its all good.

I had a couple like that before I married.
Would have been much better if I had not been so poor.
I wouldnt mind now. We now have a policy of having anyone to dinner over the festive period who would otherwise be alone.

My Dad has done it on his own for years totally by choice. In my single days I would have done it happily. As long as I had food and wine and books and TV.

just spending Christmas Day on my own, in my own flat, in my jammies, drinking and eating what the fuck I want

I do it quite regularly. Not because I hate my family but because I'm quite happy by myself. I haven't done it for a couple of years but our family get-together is new year this year, so I'll be home alone. I'm actually quite excited

If you live in a city, it's nice to go for a walk on Christmas Day when it's empty.

I've spent Christmas alone by choice before. Similar but different to you OP. Lots of family issues and people just being selfish/thoughtless built up over many years and I snapped and told my family I wasn't going to them and I didn't want them coming to me. It wasn't an easy day. I had some sad moments (my mother died many years ago and this was the start of the issues I've had with my father) when I remembered happier times when I was younger. But it was wonderful having the freedom to do whatever I wanted. I think the first Christmas alone is the hardest, partly because you feel like an outcast as it's rammed down your throat that it's family time. There's a degree of stigma attached to being alone at Christmas. But I've done it a few times now and find it quite enjoyable.

The irony being that me putting my foot down led to some open conversations with my father and now we have a much happier Christmas arrangement that works for everyone and that we're all happy with. It took us 20 years to get there but we got there in the end!!

I volunteer and have done for many years. You will have to look into it now if this idea appeals - charities are often oversubscribed!

Thanks all, a lot of positive experiences. In my head I would go out Christmas Eve, had a few too many (I can't be hungover around family as they test my patience) have a lazy Christmas Day with like a PP, M&S food, champagne, chocs and maybe meet a friend in the evening. Job done.

In reality though I've not had the best year friends wise, my 'best mate' of 20 years has been an absolute horror to me which has left me questioning my friendships with my supposed closest female friends altogether (another thread entirely 🙄) and feeling like I'm being pushed out.

Will I be sitting empowered by ditching those who I feel have treated me like shit for a long time or will I be crying to the Queen's speech?! 😂😭