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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Pissed off at partner - AIBU?

63 replies

LadyFuchsiaGroan · 27/10/2019 11:14

My dp said today that he would refuse to attend our children's party, as there would be no point in him being there.

My daughter has a party coming up soon and I am annoyed that he thinks it is fine for him to stay at home playing computer games while I do the party by myself. Plus I think it is sad for the children that their father will never be present for their parties.

So aibu? Also is this normal for most families and am I just blowing it out of proportion?

OP posts:

EKGEMS · 27/10/2019 20:19

"When my kids had parties that young their Dad never attended I never expected him to" Sounds like your relationship expectations were met-some of us prefer partners that take an active role in their children's life and to flat out refuse future parties isn't on and would not be tolerated by me

Ontheboardwalk · 27/10/2019 20:27

It’s nothing to do with gaming. He could be doing his hobby - cycling or whatever to make the same excuse

That’s what he’s doing just making an excuse to not spend time with the children. That’s not on

Cryalot2 · 27/10/2019 20:34

How sad and selfish.
His reasons are? It seems to me that he is either old fashioned and men don't do this, or he is selfish immature and possibly spoilt . To put gaming in front of his kids is beyond ridiculous.
Has he maybe got a social phobia?

Does he show love , care and interest in you all?
I think you need it .

spanglydangly · 27/10/2019 20:57

My kids had parties when young their dad never attended never expected him to

Such low standards....why didn't you "expect" him to be there!

fluffyslippers02 · 27/10/2019 20:58

Why does he think there is "no point" in being there? Even if the dc ignore him (and you...which they prob will as they will be having to much fun)why wouldn't he want to be part of it? Even just by being there? The memories,the experience and the enjoyment he will get from seeing how happy his dc are should be enough of a "point" to being there.

ddl1 · 27/10/2019 21:00

Why is he not going to be there? It does seem pretty U (of him, not you). Is he involved in his children's lives in other ways?

Vulpine · 27/10/2019 21:04

Gaming often pops up as the source of family conflict so i would say, yes it is about gaming.

Summercamping · 27/10/2019 21:12

My husband wouldn't understand if I told him he didn't need to come to his children's parties...... he's part of the family! How could he NOT be there?

cacklingmags · 27/10/2019 21:27

Wanker alert. This bloke is just a child. Unlikely to change. Sorry OP. You probably need to think about moving on.

SlightlyStaleCocoPops · 28/10/2019 04:51

"Gaming often pops up as the source of family conflict so i would say, yes it is about gaming."

No.

StreetwiseHercules · 28/10/2019 06:19

Dad’s perspective here. Any dad who can do this and not be consumed with guilt or shame is a lowlife.

Motoko · 28/10/2019 10:23

Gaming often pops up as the source of family conflict so i would say, yes it is about gaming.

As does cycling, running, football, and any number of other unnamed "hobbies".

cheesecadet · 28/10/2019 10:33

I'd be worried about what he's got planned

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