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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

6 year olds ears pierced for first time

70 replies

Miakaceysmummy22 · 27/10/2019 08:44

No judging but I had my daughters ears pierced 3 weeks ago after her asking for a couple of years, I talked with her about pain and what was involved so she knew. Anyway we went to Claire’s and one of the ears has been perfect however the other one I have had problems since day one as always seems to be gungy, I am still cleaning with the solution they provide but I think the earring is sitting a little too tight on this ear as it’s slightly bigger than the other so I am trying to get the butterfly back off but it seems well stuck on,even tried the good ear too and that’s not moving 😨 has anyone got any tips please, tia

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 27/10/2019 09:23

Take the earrings out and let her ears heal over. How has she managed at school? In all schools I've worked in earrings have to be removed for PE.

SolemnlySwear2010 · 27/10/2019 09:28

Soontobe60 - in our school you put tape over them for PE

purplepalace · 27/10/2019 09:33

I second the advice to use cooled boiled salted water to clean (I'd also use ice to reduce any swelling) I would alternate with this and the solution they gave you.

If the earlobe is red and warm (infection always makes the area heat up) then I'd think there is an infection.

The first studs they use are very hard to remove (feels like the butterfly won't budge) but it is easier on fully healed ears.

DC3dilemma · 27/10/2019 11:00

@Hoppinggreen absolutely. @Miakaceysmummy22 might want to avoid all the “judgement” but she has had a potentially disfiguring and painful procedure performed on a child who can’t give meaningful consent, who now has an infection, and she thinks it’s fine to bury her head in the sand to avoid judgement.

All the arguments people make in these circumstances are nonsense-

She really wanted it -So what, my 6 year old really wants me to make him wings so he can fly.

She knows it’ll be painful- No she doesn’t, 6 year olds rarely understand the scope and range of pain

She knows she’ll need to take care of them -Again, no she doesn’t, not really. You wouldn’t get a dog on the basis that a 6 year understood they’d need to take care of it, would you?

My daughter requires a minor surgery for a tiny lesion which is high risk for cancer in adulthood. The procedure is very minor and will take place in a sterile hospital theatre. It is, overall, lower risk than a piercing given where it’ll be happening, and that it will be a small wound designed to heal (not kept open). The plastic surgeons still wish to wait until she can give clear informed consent, which may be when she is 12-14, not 6.

Hoppinggreen · 27/10/2019 11:07

Yes, definitely take her to the muppets who caused the problem in the first place. I’m sure they are fully qualified and trained to diagnose an infection and properly advise on how to treat it.
Any other “mummies” on here who think their young child is old enough for a piercing and fully understand the ramifications of that please at least go to a proper piercing place not somewhere that sells cheap hair accessories and trains it’s ear piercing staff for probably about 5 minutes!!

Iamnotagoddess · 27/10/2019 11:09

Fucking hell there are some sanctimonious twats on this thread.

The OP has not done anything illegal.

Confusedbeetle · 27/10/2019 11:15

I would take out thr ear rings, and let the holes heal

dementedpixie · 27/10/2019 11:18

While it is inflamed it's best to leave them in so any stuff in the piercing site can drain out. Should only remove them if a doctor/nurse, etc advises it

dementedpixie · 27/10/2019 11:19

P.s. does she sleep on that side as I found the piercing on that side took longer to heal as I was lying on it

YourOpinionIsNoted · 27/10/2019 11:21

Go to a pharmacy today to get advice re. infection and treatment.
Go to a proper piercing place on Monday to get advice on the earring itself.
Don't go back to Claire's for anything in future.

dont punch holes in your children's flesh to make them look prettier

DC3dilemma · 27/10/2019 11:25

@Iamnotagoddess it not being illegal doesn’t mean you are in the right, morally and ethically, does it? Laws change. Homosexuality was illegal. Physical discipline of children has only just become illegal (where I live at least). FGM has also only relatively recently become illegal in this country.

Little kids can’t consent to piercings.

And I’d rather be a sanctimonious twat than someone who pierced a child. At one time there were sanctimonious twats saying children shouldn’t work in factories, go up chimneys etc etc. Thank goodness for all the sanctimonious twats.

@Miakaceysmummy22 in all honesty, if you think you’ve fucked up, letting her get this done, be honest about it, warn other off doing the same and have some good come from this, rather than just burying your head and asking for “no judgement”.

Areyoufree · 27/10/2019 11:28

I second the pharmacist - I wouldn't go back to Claire's, as they will have a vested interest in it not being their fault. Unfortunately, the quality of their jewellery isn't great - I bought what was supposed to be a 100% titanium belly bar from there once, and it left a huge sore on my stomach. Looked like a burn. I react to nickel (as do many people), so I imagine that although the bar probably was titanium, the fitting wasn't. It's possible there is something similar with your daughter's earrings. I got my daughter's pierced yesterday at a proper piercing studio, and they used a system called "Neometal". It's implant grade titanium, and has a smooth back instead of a butterfly. You can also change the fronts, without removing the post at the back, which is also very useful. It's expensive, but I think worth it in the long run.

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 27/10/2019 11:29

Google needle v gun piercing and watch some of the videos, read about why the guns are not sterile, the earrings that can end up embedded in the lobe...etc, etc.

greeentopmilk · 27/10/2019 11:30

I've not read all replies but I can see it's full of patronising know it alls about child piercings and Claire's not being good enough (yawn).

My daughter was 5 and had hers pierced at Claire's. They were fine. No infection. Healed well.

I would give them a call and ask for advice about moving the back. And try using salt water to clean them.

Bluerussian · 27/10/2019 11:36

I remember one of my ears playing up a bit after having them pierced. It was OK after a while. I didn't move the earring (sleeper) for ages and when I did, it was healed. I have to say that that ear hole is more difficult to navigate than the other one which is earring straight in; the troublesome one seems to have the hole going in a slightly different direction. They look ok with earrings in though, you'd never know.

Your daughter will be fine.

Iamnotagoddess · 27/10/2019 11:37

I cannot understand why people get so worked up about others parenting choices (this parenting choice actually) and are trying to make the OP feel like shit.

Who is anyone to stand in judgement of someone?

There could be a huge back story to this that we know nothing of.

I thought my daughter was too young aged 8, during a period of time where her behaviour was not good and she was still having “tantrums” she was desperate to have her ears pierced. I said fine if you don’t have full on hissy for for 3 months you can have your ears pierced at the start of the summer holidays.

She never had a tantrum again and she had her ears pierced.

I had a friend who let her daughter have hers done aged 7 after she finished cancer treatment.

People need to keep their opinions and noses out of other people’s choices.

There is no proven long term damage physically or psychologically from having your ears pierced.

Bluerussian · 27/10/2019 11:37

PS: I had mine done at a jeweller's and they'd had a properly trained piercer for years.

greypetex · 27/10/2019 11:37

@greeentopmilk

It's not being patronising, it's bloody good advice.

Not sure why you are using your DD who was 'fine' as an example when the entire OP is about a child who is not 'fine' Confused

greypetex · 27/10/2019 11:39

Oh and I don't care when people choose to allow piercings, I just think they should investigate where they are taking the child first. A simple google would have given OP lots of information to make a decision.

Igotthemheavyboobs · 27/10/2019 11:49

I cannot understand why people get so worked up about others parenting choices (this parenting choice actually) and are trying to make the OP feel like shit

No issues with children having their ears pierced, have huge issues with gun piercings. They are not sterile and they cause a lot more pain and trauma to the skin than using a needle.

If op os having issues, it is important to tell her to go to a reputable piercers as opposed to going back to Claire's Accessories where the staff will have little to no knowledge of proper infection prevention and aftercare.

alwayscauseastir · 27/10/2019 11:55

My 6yo had hers done at clares and we had a similar issue - one was fine, other wasn't. As much as I tried, I couldn't get the butterfly off the back to clean around it. Clares wouldn't touch it as they didn't want to be held responsible. A local piercer wouldn't touch it as they didn't do the original piercing. Her ear was obviously infected so I tried again to get the back off. Massive mistake - her ear was so swollen by this point that I accidentally pulled the earring into her ear lobe 🙈. She ended up being sedated in A&E to get it out. Apparently it happens all the time Hmm. So moral of the story is...demand that clares take it off rather than doing it yourself - they put it on and therefore should know how they come off. My daughter is 9 now and refuses to have them done again.

RockinHippy · 27/10/2019 12:01

I'll withhold judgement, sadly it's sounds like you've learnt the hard way, especially with not going to a proper piercing studio.

MyDD (who is much older) has a few piercings & has had some similar problems with one of her Daith piercings. After following all of the cleaning advice given, trying surgical spirit & tcp too, colloidal silver on top of the cleaning regime has been the one that has finally sorted out a bit of lingering swelling & infection

Cautionsharpblade · 27/10/2019 12:04

This happened to me, as my earlobe swelled up the stud disappeared inside my ear - made removing the earring much trickier. Wish I’d taken it out earlier

RockinHippy · 27/10/2019 12:09

I cannot understand why people get so worked up about others parenting choices (this parenting choice actually) and are trying to make the OP feel like shit

If you are going to pierce a person as young as 6, with smaller more fragile ears, then you need to accept there's a higher chance of problems & go to a proper piercing business that really knows their stuff & who are properly trained & don't use a gun.

As for the rights or wrongs of it, I wouldn't, but I had kamikaze kid, who damaged herself enough with her boisterous antics, no way would I be adding more for her to hurt or infect herself with. If you're certain your own DC aren't at risk from catching the jewellery & ripping it out by climbing trees etc, then I can think of far worse ways to harm your kids with. Claire's though, no way in hell & that needs to be said time & again to hopefully stop some other 6 yo & poor DM from dealing with this & worse 🤷‍♀️

pinkyredrose · 27/10/2019 14:32

Surely there is a standard training for ear piercing? no there isn't. It's a notoriously unregulated industry.