Bit of a situation with school and want people’s views.
DD is 5, in year 1. There is a little boy in Reception she went to a private Nursery with. Nursery ended up separating DD from him as he seemed to just target her all the time, pulling her hair, scratching at her face, deliberately ripping up her drawings etc. Nursery assured me that DD was not the problem, her behaviour was fine and she never retaliated, they ended up separating the class into two groups by age, so the ones who were leaving for school were in one room and the ones who were staying another year in another, DD obviously being in the older group. There were occasional incidences at Nursery where the groups where mixed due to staffing issues but generally they were kept separate and if they were mixed DD and this boy where kept apart.
DD is really happy at school we’ve had no problems. But at play and lunchtimes the Reception class has use of the Key Stage 1 playground so DD and this boy are together again. I didn’t think anything of it thinking having a year apart would have meant he’d forgotten her.
Obviously not as I’ve been called twice this half term and heard about several other incidences from DD and her friends all involving this boy very clearly targeting DD.
So far he’s;
- Walked up to DD who was sat on a bench with her friend and pulled at her jumper hard enough to scare her as it tight was round her neck as he pulled* (I was called about this one)
- Pulled her hair while she was eating her lunch
- Deliberately stamped on her foot when a ball he was playing with came too close to DD – I’ve been told by the house captain (year 5 child) who was on the playground at the time that DD just ignored the ball but he came up to her and stamped on her anyway
- Pinched her cheek hard enough to mark her (I was called about this one)
- Scratched at her face
I have been told that everytime DD has done nothing wrong, and this boy is targeting her. DD never retaliates although she does get upset by it. DD says he seems to come up to her for no apparent reason. Other children, not just from DDs class or Reception but children from Year 2 and also the house captains from years 5 and 6 have told me they’ve seen this boy (and named him) come up to DD and seeming just hurt for no reason.
School have told me it’s not bullying because he’s younger than DD. They have said DD appears to not be doing anything to upset him, but it’s not bullying because she's in Year 1 and him in Reception.
We are on half term now but I am going back into school after half term to discuss this. And wanted others opinions on whether AIBU to think it’s bullying? And if it what can I reasonably expect school to do about it? I do not want DD kept in at playtime and lunchtimes as she enjoys the outside and playing with her friends.
*For added context and to prevent drip feeding DD witnessed her dad attack me on many occasions when we were together, I am no longer with him and we’re both happier but DD may have been scared that similar was happening to her
**Even more context the only reason Nursery could find for this boy targeting DD was that his mum was DDs keyworker for a year when she was in the toddler room, she left when DD was in preschool but left her DC in the Nursery, DD sometimes would run to her for a hug when came to get her son and the Nursery thought he might be jealous but I don’t see how that translates to him bullying her at school