Time does your 6yo go to bed?

[CrouchedLioness]

DH has been bickering with me since I politely mentioned that 10pm is probably too late for his 6yo to go to bed. He has him from Friday after school through til Sunday tea time EOW. He has issues getting him to actually get in bed as he allows him to play video games up until it’s actually time so I imagine he’s still quite alert when it’s late. He gets up at 7am and is usually very grouchy from lack of sleep. I mainly mentioned it as I don’t want him to mess up any routine his son may have at home and then he’ll get it in the neck from his son’s mother. I have my own DD with him and she goes to bed at 7pm every night, she’s 4 so it’s probably easier I’m not sure? AIBU to think 10pm is too late? What time does everyone else’s under 10s go to bed?

5 yr old goes at 7, 9 year old goes at 8 and 12 year old at 9. Even at weekends usually because as you say, kids are awful if they don't have enough sleep.

2yr old 8pm
8yr old 9pm

Believe me I’ve tried earlier but unless I want to get up between 4 and 5am I just have to let them stay up later.

Neither of my kids need sleep. I wish they did. Both seem fine for it though and we’ve just had to go with what works for our family.

Btw, those are the times they go up (after bath) not the time they’re actually asleep for. It’s more like 8:30 and 9:30

10pm is far too late! That’s mine and DH bedtime here 😂

We have 3 DC , ages are 8 years, 6 years and 3 years. They all get in to bed around 7pm, asleep easily before 7.30pm.

7 and 10 yr olds here to bed by 8pm. 10 yr old reads till 9pm.

I would be really frustrated by this. YANBU. Overall I think the parent who has the child should be free to make the parenting decisions but this is not fair on your DS or you. Totally unacceptable imo.

6yr old in bed by 7.30 during the week, sometimes later on weekend. She gets up any time between 6.30-7.30, usually a good half hour after I'm awake.

I was going to say in bed for 7.45 aiming for sleep at 8.
My DS (now 15) was an absolute pain for not getting in bed or staying in bed, a nurse told us it would affect almost every bodily process including concentration, digestion and even affect him growing.
Yes it was difficult to enforce a strict bed time on him as he was resistant, but we did it as it so important.

Mine were in bed by 7.30 at that age. Maybe let them have an extra half hour weekends, but 10 is much to late especially if he's playing video games until that time!

Video games until just before bed are a terrible idea too, he will still be wired from the game and unable to relax- ideally he should have an hours quiet down time with a quiet activity, or just resting.

It's only one day that really affects the child, though, isn't it. Sunday nights because he's at school on Monday. If he stays up late on Friday and Saturday every other week I can't see what harm that will do and he doesn't have to get up early on the Saturday or Sunday.

7pm for my 5 & 8 yo. His ex probably hates how out of routine he is, my kids are awful from late nights after weekends at dad's.

My 6yo DS goes to bed at 7 in term time and 8 in holidays. He'd be chronically sleep deprived going to bed at 10pm!

My 6 year old goes to bed between 8-9.30pm and that's something that we are actively working on because mornings are a struggle.

6yo is normally dragged to his room at 8pm but he often turns light on and plays (lego/toys) on his own till 9ish. Up 630/7am. I wish he'd sleep more. His sister needs more sleep and it is bad next day when he gets her out of bed to play.

Sort of payback for being one of those 7pm-7am babies in the first 3 years.

Even my 12 year old goes at 8:30pm unless there's a good reason to go later, like a sleepover or family film night. Same time as 8 year old as 12 year old admits to needing it and is usually asleep within minutes of me going downstairs. They do have to be up at 6am for school.

14 year old is allowed to go whenever she likes at weekends and in the holidays, 9pm latest in term time Sunday to Thursday, but she usually chooses to go up with her brothers at 8:30pm and read.

They need sleep and quiet time.

At 6 they went at 7pm - I read to them etc upstairs so actually in bed without anyone to interact with by about 7:45pm. I still read to my younger two - 12 year old still as intently listening as 8 year old.

Does your partner read to his son? He needs to be taking him up to brush his teeth, have a bath on one of the nights, tucking him into bed and reading to him at 6, not leaving him playing video games til 10pm then battling with him about getting into bed.

My 7yr old ds goes to bed at 8.30 on school nights but can stay up until 9.30/10 on Friday and Saturday. It doesn't affect him the next day, he gets up around 8am at the weekend no matter what time he goes to bed. Can't get my knickers in a twist about it tbh, I have teenagers too so the house is very much still busy until after 11pm at the weekend.

My kids get 15 minute later bedtime for each year. 8yo at 7.45pm, 11yo at 8.30pm and 13yo at 9pm. In holiday times it’s 15 to 30 minutes later, but we have a pretty solid routine for term time. So at 6yo my kids would have gone to bed at 7.15pm

Yes it it is late ...my 15yo goes at 10pm!!!

According to the NHS guidance he is probably getting 2 hours less sleep than he needs at that age www.nhs.uk/live-well/sleep-and-tiredness/how-much-sleep-do-kids-need/

My almost 6 year old goes to bed at around 7.30pm. Usually, we are in his room for 7.15pm for stories and then it's lights out. He sometimes charters to his soft toys for a bit but is always asleep for 8pm latest (often earlier!).

He gets up at 7am no matter what time he goes to sleep so it's important that he goes to bed at a proper time.

10pm is far too late on a regular basis! Maybe one night as a special treat but certainly not every night. Poor kid must be shattered!

I have a 3.5 and 6.5 year old and they go upstairs around 6.45pm/7pm for teeth brushing and stories. The 3 year old is lights out and asleep asap by 7.30pm latest. Eldest likes to read but is always lights out by 8pm.
10pm is way too late. The fact he is tired and grouchy in the morning should be an alarm bell. Your DH needs to step up and parent his son, ditch the video games (i.e. none after dinner) and wind down with reading or something low key on the TV. I understand the annoyance of effectively not having your evening free as well. I think the NHS website has some guidance on sleeping hours by age etc might be worth seeking out. Would also be interesting to find out what his routine is with his mother.

730 for a story, aiming to be asleep by 8.

DD just about to turn 6. Bed at 7 every night, come what may pretty much. She's only ever stayed up beyond that a handful of times in her life - holidays/travel or at grandparents'. She gets up around 7-7.30 usually. Needs all the sleep she can get and doesn't actually complain too much usually.

7 year old and 4 and a half year old usually in bed by 7pm as they'll be up earlyish (6-6.30) regardless.

I wouldn't personally have any problem with the later bedtimes (I'm Italian and DC go to bed later there)

But I would with the being allowed to play video games so late! A bath followed by bedtime stories or even family friendly tv (nature docs etc) would be so much better.