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Original poster

To not want to watch Joker because of my MH

53 replies

LargeMalbec · 26/10/2019 11:09

Hi,

I know this sounds a stupid question perhaps, but DP is desperate to see this at the cinema with me and whereas I think it looks brilliant, due to its content and aparent dark and grubby feel throughout, I'm not sure it will be good for me. I have quite severe anxiety and repetitive thoughts/OCD, which can effect me really badly, with sleep etc, so as amazing as it looks, I don't think I should see it.

I find things much more overwhelming in the cinema anyway. I'd probably be ok watching it on the small screen, but dp says they won't go without me, so I now feel quite guilty not going, as they love the cinema.

Anyway, anyone seen this? How dark and sad are we talking? From what I have hear, I think my heart will break for him a bit Sad The violence I could probably handle, although I'm hearing very mixed things about that.

TIA

OP posts:
AgnesNaismith · 26/10/2019 11:15

I’ve seen it and think it’s amazing. However, it played on my mind for a good week afterwards due to how his decline in mental health was relatable - it’s what makes the performance so amazing.

Given that you have repetitive thoughts and this is a main theme running through the film I would give it a miss.

Also - don’t feel guilty, look after yourself Cake

AgnesNaismith · 26/10/2019 11:16

*please replace one of the ‘amazing’ Confused

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 26/10/2019 11:21

I wouldn't watch it in your position - and I'd tell DP to go with friends or by himself. It's not fair of him to say that he won't go and see it if you won't go with him...

HigherFurtherFasterBaby · 26/10/2019 11:23

I went it to see it alone as I was warned by a friend it might set me off as it does somewhat mirror my life and what could have been me if I’d gone down a different road...

DH completely understood and had no issue with it.

Buddyelf · 26/10/2019 11:23

I saw it last week and I thought it was brilliant. It’s not quite as ‘dark’ as I think people lead us to believe. It’s violent in parts but I’ve seen worse - I’ve seen worse on tele.
It’s sad and it’s heartbreaking in parts but it’s a good film and Joaquin Phoenix is fantastic.
Maybe wait until it’s on DVD and watch it, then if you feel it’s getting too much you can just turn it off? That’s what I do with films I’m unsure about.

Pinkypurple35 · 26/10/2019 11:25

The content of joker is still playing in my mind 2 weeks later. The decline in his mental health really resonates, coupled with his bad circumstances in life. It is a truly excellent film but it might be too close to home / overwhelming for someone with a MH condition.

weird0 · 26/10/2019 11:29

I have very bad mh and I have seen it. It is very dark and nihilistic and doesn't have many redeeming qualities. It is a good film, very well made and the violence isn't too bad (if you have watched a lot of horror/violent films), Joaquin is excellent as is De Niro. It reminded me a bit of Taxi Driver, although TD has more depth to it.

Joker is more a reflection of how dystopian society has become (yes, the real world) and that there is nothing at it's core, it is sort of an empty nihilism.

I would wait and see when it comes out on dvd.

LtJudyHopps · 26/10/2019 11:33

I have absolutely no interest in watching it for any reason other than I don’t like things like that. There are films I’ve missed at the cinema recently as DP didn’t want to watch them and while I was a bit gutted I’m waiting until they come on sky movies. I wouldn’t make him feel guilty for not wanting to watch them what a shitty thing to do.
Please don’t feel bad and go and watch it if it will affect you negatively. DP can either go without you or wait until it’s out on DVD.

Dramaofallama · 26/10/2019 11:33

Yanbu. If you feel that it will have an effect on your own mental wellbeing then don't go and do not feel guilty either about not going.
My mum has anxiety, OCD and trouble sleeping due to this, no way would I make her watch a movie that I knew could trigger her or make her feel distressed from.

AntiStuff · 26/10/2019 11:38

Why can’t your DP go on their own?! I bloody love going to the cinema on my own.

Nice glass of wine, comfy seat. Failing that, if you’re going to a multiplex type place, find one which is showing a film you would enjoy at a similar time to a Joker showing and go and see that whilst they see the Joker?

PositiveVibez · 26/10/2019 11:40

It's not fair of him to say that he won't go and see it if you won't go with him...

This exactly. Why is he so adamant??? Seems very odd.

megletthesecond · 26/10/2019 11:41

I've not seen it for that reason. It looks great but I think the MH storyline would leave me feeling awful.

Your DP can go on their own. Solo cinema is ace.

thecatsthecats · 26/10/2019 11:42

I know nothing about the Joker, but I have a husband who always wants me to come to gigs with him regardless of whether I like the band or not.

As I've got older, I only really like to stand in a dark noisy room for music I really like, but it took me a while to learn to say, "Nope, sorry, I'll give this one a miss, go on your own or find someone else" - and it took him a while to realise this was a perfectly reasonable stance.

PocketMoneyMonster · 26/10/2019 11:46

I didn't find it anywhere near as dark as it had been hyped up to be - I like dark and it disappointed me. It's quite in your face violent in parts - I don't like graphic violence, so this also disappointed me. Maybe I need to watch it again, but overall I was disappointed.

However, if you think it's likely you affect you then send your husband on his own.

Sunnysidegold · 26/10/2019 11:56

I thought it was very sad. I kept thinking that if just one person had intervened or one agency been able to help, if someone had cared and he got the help he needed then he wouldn't have carried out the actions he did.

I don't find films triggering but I came out feeling so flat even though I thought the film was very good.

Original poster
LargeMalbec · 26/10/2019 11:59

Thanks for all your replies. I'm not feeling quite so bad about it now.

Tbf to my DP, I don't think they're deliberately trying to guilt trip me, just saying they aren't bothered about seeing it without me. I quite like the sound of solo cinema though . Weirdly, I find things less disturbing when watching them on my own. I've never been able to work this out 🤔

I think maybe I've felt more pressure this time because I say no to so many things and I genuinely like the look of this.

If something really gets to me, I can find it very difficult to shift. It doesn't always have to be disturbing, it can be a piece of music, but once my brain locks it in, that's it. I'm not sure I'll want this one locking in...

OP posts:
VondaVomin · 26/10/2019 11:59

Excellent acting but very sad and bleak with no redeeming elements. I wouldn't if you are likely to empathise with the character.

Butchyrestingface · 26/10/2019 12:00

but dp says they won't go without me

Does DP have:

  1. separation anxiety (whole thread going on the benefits of crate training if so)
  2. nae pals
  3. an intense fear of going to the cinema alone?

Please clarify as per above.

VaggieMight · 26/10/2019 12:03

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at poster's request.

Inebriati · 26/10/2019 12:04

I have bad mental health, if we go to the cinema and I can't deal, I leave and go home. If its a film that no one else wants to see I go on my own.

burnoutbabe · 26/10/2019 12:07

It's arty but I found it bleak and depressing. Not one I enjoyed watching at all and won't ever bother with when it comes on tv.

Ravenrob · 26/10/2019 12:12

I probably wouldn't watch it in your position. It is dark but I found it overwhelmingly sad. It's such a great film though.

xJodiex · 26/10/2019 12:35

I couldn't go, went to see the new Godzilla with a friend who really wanted to in the summer and it massively spiked my anxiety, i sat through the whole thing wishing it would hurry up and end, I'd never put myself through similar again.

Cinema ain't what it used to be.

florenceflossie · 26/10/2019 12:39

I have OCD too OP.

I've found a lot of TV series like Black Mirror still infiltrate a lot of my intrusive thoughts.

I went to see Joker a few days back. It's still affecting the way I am feeling. I wish I hadn't gone.

charm8ed · 26/10/2019 13:00

Slightly a different subject but I don’t get this whole wont go to the cinema without you thing.

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