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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Rude new postman!

37 replies

boble1 · 25/10/2019 13:48

Hi,

I am a stay at home parent. I go out on the school run 8.35 til 8.50 and then 3.05 until 3.45 everyday.

I am home everyday between these times.

We have a new postman.

He asked me to take a parcel for next door. I said no, as we haven't spoken for 12 years. He said she does take parcels for me to which I replied that I have not received any from her and she doesn't take them in as when I've been on the school run and have missed one, there is always a card through the door. He was adamant she does take them, even when I explained that she is so petty that if the bin men leave her wheelie bin on my driveway, she will make the council come back and bring it back onto her driveway.

He then said that as I am never home when he tries to deliver my many parcels [hmmm] could I leave the front porch door unlocked, a window open for him to throw my parcels through or buy some sort of special box for him to leave parcels in, to make things easier for him.

Again, I told him I AM IN EVERYDAY, apart from these school pick up times.

He complained that his bag was heavy with my parcels. I did note he was a young and muscular man.

He said that yesterday he saw we were in, posted letters, came back with the van and we had gone out (half term). I said yes, I had to get new tyres for my car.

What has amused me is that he went back to my neighbour and her son must of been having a lay in and he opened the door for her parcel.

He has made me feel very uncomfortable, I thought he was quite rude. Surely, in this day and age, internet shopping is all the rage?

Was he being a CF and should I complain about him?

Thank you x

OP posts:
loobyloo1234 · 25/10/2019 13:53

I think YABU. It sounds like all he was doing was trying to make things easier for you in that you get your parcels delivered? I'm sure they are also heavy for him so he was NBU to tell you that

Original poster
boble1 · 25/10/2019 13:56

My point is that I am home everyday, when he says I'm not and he is asking me to leave my porch door or a window open so I could potentially get burgled.

OP posts:
frogsbreath · 25/10/2019 13:57

Ask him to leave parcels you miss with a different neighbour (even though you say you are home to collect them). Then you can refuse to take parcels for this one neighbour who is difficult.

He can knock on doors with her parcels until he finds a neighbour who likes her Grin

TheCanterburyWhales · 25/10/2019 13:58

Well, he was just trying to make his job a bit easier really, wasn't he?
Most posties have a fixed round so if his delivery time coincides with you not being there, then that is going to happen every day isn't it? He can't be expected to make special trips for your school run time.
He offered you alternative arrangements, none of which were practical for you, so I guess you'll just have your wee card through the door and go and collect it yourself. I presume that's the solution you came up with?
It's not his fault you're not in, it's not your fault he delivers when he does.
It's not a big deal.

TheRobinIsBobbingAlong · 25/10/2019 13:58

In my area, most internet shopping parcels are delivered by Hermes, Yodel etc. Very few come via Royal Mail. When they do, my postman never goes to NDNs, he always puts a card through the door and I have to go to the local post depot to collect them next day. Postman will usually only have lightweight things and heavier RM parcels are delivered by van. If he can't cope with the parcels he's being sent out with then maybe delivering mail is not the job for him. Otherwise he should ask his depot to let him have use of one of those RM barrow things. They're lockable and postal people usually secure them to a nearby lampost as they go to each road.

Winterdaysarehere · 25/10/2019 13:58

Next time you see him offer him alternative job suggestions as he obviously isn't going to cut it as a postie!!
And yes complain. I reported mine for bending a huge envelope that said DO NOT BEND on it. It was ds's school certificates. Royal Mail offered to pay for replacements.

loobyloo1234 · 25/10/2019 13:59

So you are saying he is putting one of the red cards through even though you are there? If he is then he is of course BU but that is not what you have said in your OP

Original poster
boble1 · 25/10/2019 14:01

@TheCanterburyWhales

But I am in when the postman comes.

I think he was snotty as I wouldn't take next door's parcel, even though her son was home.

OP posts:
Original poster
boble1 · 25/10/2019 14:05

@loobyloo1234

Absolutely no.

I explained yes, I did miss a parcel yesterday as I had to get new tyres.

Previously postmen have knocked while delivering letters saying they will be there soon with the van to deliver a parcel. I would of said, could you please leave it with my nice neighbour as I have an appointment at the garage for new tyres.

I can't understand why he didn't do this.

OP posts:
cabingirl · 25/10/2019 14:05

Over the last month how many parcels have you had left with neighbours?

Original poster
boble1 · 25/10/2019 14:07

None with royal mail.

Hermes are notorious for coming at 3.15, but they know to leave with nice next door as you can update on their website if you won't be home.

OP posts:
sparepantsandtoothbrush · 25/10/2019 14:08

My point is that I am home everyday, when he says I'm not

But you weren't in when you went to get your tyres changed 🙄

He was just trying to make his job easier suggesting somewhere for him to leave your parcels if you aren't in. Doesn't everyone do that?

TheQueef · 25/10/2019 14:10

YABU he isn't your personal courier if you are worried, get a parcel drop box or rent the space to Amazon for a lock box.

CAG12 · 25/10/2019 14:12

Do you just have one neighbour?

I think he was probably just trying to make his life a little easier, if in a rather blundering way

Original poster
boble1 · 25/10/2019 14:12

That would be the first time I wasn't in for months.

Like I said, previous postmen have let me know a parcel will come soon when delivering the letters.

Do you think I should of left my window open or porch unlocked then? @sparepantsandtoothbrush

OP posts:
ChaosTrulyReigns · 25/10/2019 14:16

Did the council really come back to move her bin?

ShockShock

Original poster
boble1 · 25/10/2019 14:16

@TheQueef

No he isn't my personal courier but my point is that I am home and he was trying to make out I'm not.

I saw his bag and he had a few parcels there, he was trying to make out his bag is heavy as they are all for me when I actually had no post at all today.

OP posts:
Original poster
boble1 · 25/10/2019 14:18

@ChaosTrulyReigns

They did indeed.

I asked them who they were, and the man said next door's bin has been mistakenly put on my driveway and they've come to move it Shock

OP posts:
PigletJohn · 25/10/2019 14:20

I think the parcel box is a good idea.

I'm toying with making a wooden one with a hinged lid (made of decking planks). It will also serve as a seat for taking boots off. I could fit it with a yale lock that will latch when the lid is pressed down.

A box big enough for sitting on would be big enough for most pardels.

Jimjamjong · 25/10/2019 14:20

YANBU, I had the Royal Mail postman have a go at me when I opened the door once because: "you are never in and why do you order so many parcels?" Grin Well I am not in because I am working to pay for those parcels which ultimately pay for your salary (I didn't say that though, just gave him a look and made some non committal noises, couldn't believe the cheek of it).

Original poster
boble1 · 25/10/2019 14:24

@Jimjamjong Grin

OP posts:
FairfaxAikman · 25/10/2019 14:28

You need to do this OP, seeing as you're not in

donquixotedelamancha · 25/10/2019 14:37

I did note he was a young and muscular man.

His bag is very heavy OP and apparently you are always in for him to deliver his package. Why not invite him in for a brew? :-)

Original poster
boble1 · 25/10/2019 14:38

@FairfaxAikman

That was hysterical, thank you.

Lightened up my day Flowers

OP posts:
Original poster
boble1 · 25/10/2019 14:41

@donquixotedelamancha

Ha ha!

I think my 9 year old son's school bag is heavier!

OP posts: