Does he dislike women?

[buffetbaby]

For long I've wondered what is going on with a young man in my extended family and would appreciate your opinion please.
He has in the past referred to women who wear lots of make up, scantily dressed and those comfortable with their sexuality as sluts. He hates make up and anything false. He likes women to be covered eg no low cut tops.He says he isn't too keen on women's Bits and pulls faces when Sex is discussed. He thinks sex is over rated and he has only had one girlfriend in his life.He is mid thirties. To me this is strange.Has he issues with women or sex or sexuality.I am unsure how to navigate this.

Gay and in the closet/self hating?
Asexual?
Misogynist?
Angry or confused younge man who has some issues
Many many different possibilities I couldn't say but I certainly wouldn't like to be around him

He doesn't hate women. He fears women. He hates himself, not women.

I don't enjoy being around him too. The older he gets the more issues that are coming up to the stage that my jaw drops. I have nearly lost my temper many times. He has shame and self hatred as he has often spoken about shame in his childhood regarding sex and religion. Funny though, he adores his mother and sisters and grandmother. I am
At the stage where I am losing my temper and do t want to be around him which is sad because we were close once.

Best to 'navigate this' is to avoid him at all costs.

He sounds vile and sadly, not unique.

Why and how do you know all this?
Lots of people don’t like a lot of make up or talking about sex with family! Using the word slut is unacceptable obviously.

I know this as we grew up together from birth and I see a different man that I don't like anymore.

I would just avoid him

He sounds genuinely awful

Plenty of women don’t seem to like men very much.
Sounds like he had a puritanical upbringing which has left its mark.

Is there a possibility of sexual abuse?

I’ve a family member who speaks negatively about men due to past abuse. Nobody gets enraged, calls her gay or self-hating.

We are like brother and sister iykwim. He had quite the domineering but loving mother.

I've often wondered about sexual abuse as he self harmed through his teenage years in relation to sexual issues.

Do you ever challenge him on any of his views and if so, how does react? He isn't someone I'd be wanting to spend time around. I don't know that much about incels but I wonder if he is one of those, or on the route to becoming one. I wonder what he thinks about men who wear make up.

I’ve a family member who speaks negatively about men due to past abuse. Nobody gets enraged, calls her gay or self-hating.

I am curious what sort of things does she say? I have a fear of some men, because of past experience. But it tends to be those who do something that involves invading my boundaries in some way, not about what they're wearing or how comfortable they are with sex etc.

We have to be accepting of men who call women sluts, that they should cover up, that finds our bodies revolting/disgusting,

In case they have been sexually abused.

Rightho.

I challenge him at every chance but get completely angered and lose my temper.

we have a similar situation with a young man in our extended family in that he's very protective of women on the one hand, but also regularly comments on things like feminism going "too far" etc. In his case, there is no doubt in my mind that he is feeling displaced and scared. He works, but has never had a job that is particularly fulfilling or challenging and, frankly, is probably unqualified for any jobs that 30 years ago, he probably would have just got because he's a man. There are also some issues where religion/politics/gender politics are all getting mixed up in his head. he's a good man at heart but I've had to distance myself because challenging him on his statements etc is just impossible. Final straw was him posting a clip of Jordan Peterson with a big, "Yes, THIS is the problem with the world" and it was one of those clips about how men are so hard done by.

when you challenge him, does he listen at all?

A lot of men are struggling because things that used to be easy aren't any more. So comments, for example, when it's a all-women panel or news team about how "why does it always have to be women" with little or no understanding that it's always been men forever.

Also, he sounds gay and in denial.

Both the men mentioned seem to have virgin / whore type stuff going on.

Well, he's behaving like a woman-hating prick. It may be the case that his attitude comes from some sort of past trauma, but that's not a free pass to abuse other people. Either avoid him as much as possible or sit him down and say, look Timmy, you're sounding like more and more of a woman-hating prick these days. You're obviously very unhappy. Why don't you think about seeing a therapist before you end up with no friends apart from internet losers?

My first thought is that he is incredibly unsuccessful and unpopular with women and therefore hates them...so yeah misogynist.

He probably dislikes glamorous women because he stands even less of a chance with them

“We have to be accepting of men who call women sluts, that they should cover up, that finds our bodies revolting/disgusting,

In case they have been sexually abused.”

Nobody said that
It’s unacceptable behaviour but may have a root cause.

A possible explanation is not an excuse for being so offensive.

Minimise your time with your cousin.

What is a virgin whore thing?

He has perhaps found mgtow, incel movement etc. online.

Sone of it sounds similar to incel, mgtow etc stuff I've heard from you g men on a male dominated forum I used to go on.

The self harm etc while younger - perhaps something v untoward has happened to him - but if he won't speak to you or a counsellor etc. what can you do?

I knew someone like this and it was due to really low confidence and hating himself. Now he’s out of that phase and has a gf and is normal. But when he use to insult girls looks it was because he was going through his own depression