People moaning about money when financially comfortable

[FishCanFly]

Just returned from a short holiday with a family member. Exotic location. Yes, we went on a cheap, staying in an airbnb and eating out in local taverns rather fancy beachfront, but still very enjoyable. All the time my relative was sneering at "those European tourists" (like we weren't them too), as "they obviously must be loaded with money", moaning how she is on a "breadline" and how difficult things are at home. Final straw was when she said - let's not put our photos on facebook because "people will react badly when i complain about money" - and I'm right there thinking - have you got no shame?

It’s a bit odd that she’s made complaining about money such an important part of her identity. It’s as if she believes having money and spending it is a terrible crime. This does sound annoying but a lot of people have a difficult relationship with money. It’s strange for it to manifest like this though.

Op your right, the most people I have heard moan and moan and complain abut money are the ones in fully paid off houses worth millions.
I guess that's why some people get wealthy they still see themselves as v poor??

I wouldn’t go on holidays with her again. Does she always sneer and moan?

For god's sake. I'd have said "well maybe stop complaining about not having enough money then" 🙄

Personally I cannot for the life of me see the point of not having worry moneys to then be crippled with anxiety about money???

She definetly made pleading poverty a part of her identity. Annoying as hell. And she keeps her holidays a secret from her friends and colleagues at home.

Maybe it’s all on credit and she lives beyond her means?

I have a family member a bit like this (maybe not to the same extent as yours) but I think even if people are quite comfortable, they can still have a poverty mentality from childhood or times they have struggled with money even if they are now well off so always make out they are poor or hard done by. But people like this are not people you want to be going on holiday with or nice experiences as they will find a way to complain about the extravagance and expense of it. Holidays are there to be enjoyed, spend money and have a lovely time, you don't need negative people putting a downer on it!

while your family member sounds annoying (and over the top), most people who have money do so because they are careful with money.
there is no comfortable amount of money, its always possible to spend over your means. (obviously the reverse isn’t true - there is an amount of income necessary to be able to save, if you are under that, your chances of creating savings are cery slim)

Often people who have more, spend more.

You see it on here a lot. The squeezed middle class who have huge mortgages and private school fees and then struggle with money as their outgoings are so huge.

These are all choices though. If you can't live within your means on a comfortable salary then I struggle to be sympathetic and I would get annoyed listening to someone moan about it.

She is actually pretty modest when it comes to spending, and has done well for herself, just very envious and resentful that somebody else has more. Yes, staying in an airbnb is not as fancy as some spa, but still - such a holiday wouldn't be in her dreams if she was truly on a breadline.

I have family like this. Each member of the family (4) has a brand new car, with a private plate. They go multiple holidays every year, have cosmetic surgery, expensive dogs, clothes etc. I'm a single parent on benefits and often get told from another family member how skint they are and it's a shame how much they struggle .

There’s nothing to say that the people staying at the spa have more money than those in the air bnb though.

One of my relatives spends every penny she earns. To the outsider it seems she has far greater wealth than us, when the exact opposite is true. You can’t go by appearances.

I know someone like this. They are extremely comfortable but seem quite spiteful of others who they perceive to have more than them. It's odd.

A case of poormouthing - love that term - know several people who poormouth!

I would wonder if they come from real poverty as well. Not that you want to deal with this on holiday. But if you have scraped yourself out of real poverty, then seeing others handed a similar lifestyle can breed resentment, I have seen this happen.
Of course dealing with resentment is never great. But in our society where the poor are getting ever poorer and the rich are getting ever richer, then resentment is going to happen.
Why does she not want to put it on facebook? There may be good reasons such as toxic relatives.

Yanbu. I never moan about money because I own a home, my dc are fed and watered and we go on holiday once a year. The squeezed middle types really irritate me. Yes you may have little disposable income after childcare, car and mortgage but you had the money for these things! Why don't they see that? Many would dream to be in their position.

It's even worse of they also have a big fat pension pot and ISAs up the wazoo. I know loads of people like this. Big house, organic everything in the cupboards, cleaners, gardeners, then they moan about only being able to go camping as everything else is too expensive ( ignoring the mini breaks three times a year..) people like this have no idea how the other half actually live!

Some people just like to be negative. I’m one of the was very poor as a child but aren’t now. I never complain about money but I tend to not talk about it in RL in any personal context at all. Never disclosed how much I earned, what my pension and savings were and didn’t tell anyone I paid off my mortgage when still really quite young in my thirties.

I have met people that complain about money that really it is just because they spend it on luxury stuff and do stuff like buy a timeshare in Bali and never go there, that was SIL, they irritate me.

I can’t stand people who talk about money all the time, however they mention it.

People who earn more spend more, tastes go up which is fine. People’s priorities are also different, to some splashing out on a holiday is worth more than buying loads of up to date clothes through the year, some people’s priority is spending on their kids, some is themselves. Best to not even look at what anyone else is doing and concentrate on yourself!
I would hate if someone’s looking at me whilst on holiday making comments, she needs to shut up

Not everyone whose earnings go up, spend more. Some people if they been poor for a long time find it hard to spend money.

I get the resentment when people are faced with real poverty, i.e. unemployement, homelessness, not being able to afford basics.
But exotic holidays and other niceties she enjoys - certainly isn't anywhere near poverty. Or even the standard of living of local people in that holiday place. To me it just feels utterly shameless to moan.
As for facebook, i respectfully agreed to keep her name and face out of mine.

She obviously is not on the breadline and is wrong to moan in that way. Are things difficult for her at home though?
In fairness she does sound a pain.

I don’t know how you could be friends with someone that that op.
She must have other redeeming features because she sounds like a hypocrite and a knob.

Close family member, not a choice of friendship. Though i have friends who act similar. But they are just shit with money rather than actually poor. I.e. buy a new iphone then struggle with food/bills.
I just hate this kind of attitude.