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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To consider putting my dog down?

41 replies

Wolfie26 · 24/10/2019 12:40

I have an 11 year old dog who means the absolute world to me. I have owned him since he was 8 weeks old and he has been there through all the ups and downs.

The past three years with him haven’t been the easiest due to health issues. Arthritis, cancer, back problems, issues with urinating, bowel issues, constipation are just a few amongst other random non specific issues. Despite all these issues, he is currently pretty happy, healthy an fairly fit. However, he regularly has issues with urinating in the house. Sometimes it’s like he has lost control and completely peed himself, sometimes he seems to leak urine and sometimes he just goes in the same place as if he has been caught short. He can go a few months without doing anything and then there are times where it seems to everyday. The only thing the vets ever found was crystals in his urine which he now gets a prescription diet for.

He has had numerous surgeries to remove lumps around his bum. The second last one, just over a year ago, was very invasive and it’s lucky he’s not completely incontinent. He generally has a slight smearing left on his bum after a poo, which is easily cleaned, but anytime his faeces becomes slightly loose he starts to leak. The whole of his bum and back legs end up covered in poo as does anything he comes in to contact with. Again, he can go a few months without having any incidents like this but unfortunately the older he gets, the more prone he seems to be to an upset tummy.

Since Saturday he has had complete liquid diarrhoea. No ‘accidents’ in the house but again he is leaking everywhere, he is covered in it and it ends up all over the house, smeared on walls, floor etc. I have lost count of the amount of times I have bathed his back end. Three this morning alone. I have carpets in the majority of the house which I am going to have to get professionally cleaned (for the fourth time this year). I have been trying to keep him in the kitchen but he is so upset at being locked away, he paces, spreads poo everywhere then gets even more upset as he doesn’t want to lie down in poo. I don’t even manage to clean everywhere before he needs showered and I need to start again. I barely even managed to speak to my own child last night as there was just poo everywhere. I finished cleaning at half 9, ordered pizza, put DS to bed then started again.

It’s not Ddog’s fault but I can’t live like this anymore. We have different prescription food from the vet and some different meds but realistically even when this stops, it’s only a matter of time before the next episode. My house is a mess, the living room stinks but I can’t change the flooring because it’s just going to happen again at some point and I can’t afford to be constantly redecorating. My dog really means the world to me but I am honestly just at breaking point right now, I can’t cope with it anymore 😔.

AIBU to consider putting him to sleep? I feel so bad even thinking it. He’s not a dog on it’s last legs, I don’t look at him and think it’s time but I really am at breaking point now.

OP posts:
winnybella · 24/10/2019 12:43

Would putting him in a nappy work?

Cosmos45 · 24/10/2019 12:45

Dog nappy was my first thought? I think this is a large breed (wolfhound?), I am not sure you can buy them for a dog that size but worth investigating maybe?

mrsjoyfulprizeforraffiawork · 24/10/2019 12:47

I am wondering whether he has spread of the malignancy, given the liquid diarrhoea. I think it is quite reasonable to consider PTS as he probably is not enjoying life at all under these circumstances and the increased stress it causes all round is probably very noticeable to your dog, so PTS may well be the kindest thing. It is so difficult but better sooner rather than later. Lots of special cuddles and happy moments for him up until the vet visit in the meantime.

Damntheman · 24/10/2019 13:22

I sympathise. I'm facing the same dilemma with my 13 year old cat. She's got a tumour in her jaw that's making her face look horrendous. She keeps washing off the scab and bleeding on everything and now won't use the catflap or the litter box so poos on the doormat every morning. Other than that she seems totally happy and affectionate and full of purr..

I think I'm going to have to bite the bullet in the next few weeks but also feel bad because otherwise she seems quite happy.

BurMaMa2 · 24/10/2019 13:37

I'm so sorry you and your dog are going through this traumatic time. It sounds extremely stressful for both of you. If you look for 'quality of canine life scales" on the Internet, it might be helpful. In my opinion, it is better to humanely end an animal's life a week too early rather than a day too late. Hugs to you and your dog.

Cornettoninja · 24/10/2019 13:43

@Damntheman could you put a puppy pad down on the doormat? Not much in the way of help but short term at least you can just chuck it in the bin.

@Wolfie26 I don’t think it would be the wrong decision if you did decide to pts but I can see your in that difficult spot of it all being manageable (if disgusting and hard work).

What does your vet say? Have you asked what they’d do if it was their dog?

Kko1986 · 24/10/2019 13:43

Hi op
My heart breaks for you, I was 18 and my dog Billy who I adopted when I was 9 he was my best friend bless him. He started urinating inside for no reason. Then developed a lump on his stomach vet confirmed cancer he lasted another 3 months and the weeping got worse he seemed normal in himself but he was in pain. I made the choice to put him down took him for one last walk before we went in to the vets all the while thinking but hes walking drinking and eating. The vet assured me it was the best decision as he was in pain just hid it well.

You need to make the choice based on what u know as only you know your dog well enough x good luck x

Veterinari · 24/10/2019 13:45

@Wolfie26
He’s had a good life, I think a good death is also important.
Nappies are difficult to manage, unhygienic and still distressing for him - his fur etc would still be matted with faeces. It’s not a solution.

Saying goodbye is never easy but most vets agree that a week too early is better than a day too late.

Maneandfeathers · 24/10/2019 13:49

It sounds quite undignified for him, I would let him go sadly Sad

Windydaysuponus · 24/10/2019 13:52

Poor ddog's quality of life is falling. I had a brain damaged dcat years ago and when she became incontinent she was pts.
Your ddog has been well loved. Time to prove it by doing what's best for him now.

DangerousBeanz · 24/10/2019 13:54

I think the fact that you are asking strangers means that you already know the right thing to do, for your family and your lovely dog, and are just looking for confirmation.
He's had a lovely life. He's been well looked after and adored, but his quality of life isn't what it should be.
It's time to say goodbye.

Lots of love to you.

JuneFromBethesda · 24/10/2019 14:04

I'm so sad for you Wolfie. It must be breaking your heart even to contemplate such a thing Flowers

TipseyTorvey · 24/10/2019 14:05

Dangerousbeanz has put exactly what I would say. Huge hugs and strength to you. This is not easy but it's time.

81Byerley · 24/10/2019 14:08

Dogs are clean, dignified animals, and he is miserable being like this. The loving thing would be to let him go now. You can't enjoy him now either. What you are describing is horrendous for both of you. It's so sad for you, but time for you to do the most loving thing you can do for your pet, and put him to sleep. Sending a big hug.

JuneFromBethesda · 24/10/2019 14:13

Saying goodbye is never easy but most vets agree that a week too early is better than a day too late.

Thank you for saying this Veterinari. Twenty years ago we had a much-beloved dog put to sleep at the age of 13, after considerable agonising, because we felt she was no longer enjoying life. Last week my mum came out with the bombshell that she thought in retrospect we'd made the decision too soon. It was a bit of a dagger to the heart as I absolutely adored our dog. But I still feel we got the timing right, and were able to give our beloved girl a kind and painfree death.

bodgeitandscarper · 24/10/2019 14:14

It isn't going to get better, and will be stressful for him. Older dogs tend to be clingy and need to be with you more, if he's getting shut in the kitchen it is unfair on him. 11 is a good age for a dog, and a very good age for a large breed. I'd be doing the kindest thing. Flowers

NotEnoughTime · 24/10/2019 14:16

You have my heartfelt sympathy whatever you decide Flowers I have seen your posts before in the doghouse and it is clear to me how much you love your pooch. He will always be in your heart-no one can take away your memories. Best of luck to you and your darling doggo.

pigsDOfly · 24/10/2019 14:19

This must be so hard for you, and clearly you've done all you can to manage it, but I agree with most of the pps that the time has come to say goodbye.

I'm trying to imagine how my dog would react to what's happening to your beloved dog and I know she'd be so distressed.

You've loved him and cherished him. Sounds like now it's time to do this one last loving thing for him.

Flowers Take care.

Yamihere · 24/10/2019 14:27

As a pp said, getting pts a week too early is better than a day too late in terms of your dog's welfare and the emotional trauma for yourself.
Go speak to your vet or ask a behaviourist for an impartial decision if you are finding it difficult to make the decision. All the best, it's heartbreaking watching them slowly deterioate.

Branleuse · 24/10/2019 14:30

I think that he is probably quite distressed and uncomfortable. I dont think it would be a bad thing to let him go with a bit of dignity x

SmudgeButt · 24/10/2019 14:31

If it was me I would say it's time to say goodbye.

So sorry whatever you decide as pets are such a big thing in our lives it's always a struggle at times like these.

Idontwanttotalk · 24/10/2019 14:31

I think that, because he is currently pretty happy, healthy and fairly fit, the situation warrants another visit to the vet.

Is the diarrhoea related to the change in diet not having been gradual? Has the vet looked into the urine voiding issue. Is it a hormone issue or a sphincter problem that can be treated wth medication?

If the passing of urine and the diarrhoea issue can be resolved and he is still eating, drinking and happy then he shouldn't be put to sleep.
If the issues can't be resolved then I don't think you would be unreasonable to have him put to sleep. I am worried that if you had him pts without exhausting all options with the vet, that you may feel guilty forever. If you return to the vet and the issues can't be resolved, then I feel you would have done all you could.

You are clearly devoted to him to have had him treated for so many serious ailments. You, I'm sure, will know for definite when the time is right. My reading is that the time may be fast approaching but isn't quite yet for you. The cleaning up etc must be utterly exhausting and demoralising for you though.

SamhainQueen · 24/10/2019 14:33

I think I would PTS in these circumstances. In fact I know I would. Poor doggy.

What a sad situation.

Flowers
Member984815 · 24/10/2019 14:57

I think it's time , he can't be comfortable anymore , I know it's hard but it's the best thing for him

labazsisgoingmad · 24/10/2019 15:07

if life is miserable for him he has lots of health issues and a history of them then maybe its time to say goodbye. clearly it sounds like his bowel problems are making him as unhappy as you seek vets advice first maybe nappies but you know in your heart whether to take that big step or not