Friend treating me like a taxi

[Moominfan]

So Over summer had a few days out with said friend. I drive she doesn't. I'd pick her up and it would add miles/time to my journey getting her and her daughter. I never asked for petrol and wouldn't want her to pay petrol. I only recently started driving and really sympathise having a little one and no car. However, it would have been nice if she'd offered to buy a coffee or parking. Just a small gesture would have been appreciated.

Today I was going to take my child to a climbing wall not far from hers. Mentioned it and I offered to pick them up. It's only an extra 5mins. They then respond yea that would be great, I also need to go collect a prescription. I'm not a taxi I don't want to run errands. I've told a white lie now and said he's Ill just because I can't be bothered.

Honestly if you don’t say anything but will eat away at you

Yea it's soo annoying. Recently went to a few other places and didn't invite her because I just cba with dropping off picking up ext. if she lived nearby I wouldn't mind so much. Or if once in a while she offered petrol or get coffees or something. Before I drove a friend of mine would drive out her way to take me cinemas. I'd always get the popcorn. I just couldn't imagine not even offering

It's the assumption I'll ferry around. I just wanted to go climbing. Every time we go somewhere I'm asked to nip here and there.

But you asked her to go climbing.
And you said earlier you didnt want her to pay for petrol.

Its like you want the applause for being a good friend.But dont actually want to do it.

The only thing i will say is stop asking her out to things.And if you do,be upfront and say no detours.And could she chip in for petrol.Then you wont be seething.

Yea I did say up thread I'm going to meet her at a local soft play centre. It's easily walking distance for her. Yes I would like to be asked nicely to help her out with errands and not told where she wants to go.

Why are some posters attacking the OP? I think she has been more than reasonable, and I say this as someone who for several years in my teens/twenties didn't drive until I got my licence. I have had people go out of their way for me pre-licence and I always offered money (and left it in the mid seat console if they refused). I have had people go out of their way to pick me up for political meetings 45 mins each way, and I have been so grateful, and I have paid it forward for others. The issue is that the OP is being taken for granted, is not been offered money (.even if not necessary, it is the gesture that says everything) and assumed. Before I had my licence I rarely asked for any detours, and when I did, I was so apologetic.

The way a person goes about getting favours says everything. I have been in both situations, and respect and acknowledgement and gratitude really makes the difference.

I know is great when people offer, but if you want reciprocity it’s probably better if you mention it rather than stew.

OP YANBU. I hate it when people try and do this to me. I had one friend whom I’d ferried around for years and she finally got a car and how many times did she ever offer me a lift: once. So I stopped doing it.

Much easier to nip it in the bud now, OP, than let it get out of hand.

I must be reading a different thread to some of you.
Im reading the op offers df a lift if they are going out.

Ok the df could offer petrol money or a coffee.But i think the op is making a big deal out of it.All she has to is ask for petrol money or a coffee.Not offer and then give out about it.

, it is the gesture that says everything)

^ this I never used to mind, I was glad to help her get out and about but as time's gone I feel like my kindness has just been taken advantage of. Today I wasn't asked can you nip to pharmacy en route I was told she needs to go to the pharmacy.

I do think this has become awkward. There is definitely a presumptuous tone in her saying "great, I have to pick up a prescription." It would make me feel as if the climbing wall is secondary.

@gwackywacky

It's half term. Tons of normally working parents are taking their kids out...