To complain about DS nursery key worker

[Thegracefuloctopus]

DS is 13 months and has been in nursery since he was 9 months. The 1st nursery he was in we pulled him out of after 3 weeks because the nursery was too big and for a number of reasons, we weren't happy with it.
We moved him to a small nursery that has 6 members of staff accross two rooms.
We have loved this nursery so so much and really got on with it. However, recently we have found one particular member of staff is slacking massively and its creating a bit of tension.
This week the manager has been off and these things have escolated.
We have an online system where they keep track of what DS has done that day. DS has a key worked who we shall call A. He is the staff member we have noticed a difference in.
Whenever A uploads details onto DS file, it's not specific. Such as I find it unlikely that DS has gone to sleep at 12.23 every day, which makes me question what of the information is true.
We have also noticed a drop in the updates of what DS is doing in his day. We used to get "DS has been making prints today with brocoli, making them into trees". We now get nothing.
This week dh got there to find DS in soaking wet clothes in the garden, no coat on (despite me sending him with one) and eating mud. There were 10 children of varying ages in the garden and A was the only member of staff. Another was cleaning inside the nursery.
I did drop off and handed DS over with a large lack of conversation, just "what time did he get up" and then walking off.
Yesterday, DH picked DS up to be told "we've put him in some socks we found, we don't know if they are his but he took his off and we couldn't find his" I had noticed the pair of socks that morning drying on the drying rack. DS has now come home in them and they arnt his. There are spare socks in DS bag and I found the socks I sent him in that day in his bag too. AIBU to think you shouldn't put a child in a pair of dirty socks from another child, full well knowing they don't belong to the child you're giving them to?
We have also noticed A speaking to the children in a snappy way, such as "I'm not picking you up" despite the child crying with his arms up. Child in question is not much older than DS.
So, WIBU to mention it to the manager and ask why standards have slipped recently, especially with this staff member. and really question the socks thing.

That turned out to be longer than I intended, sorry!

Ok you’re overreacting about the sock thing.

The rest, it actually sounds like they are understaffed and A is getting the brunt of this. She probably doesn’t have time anymore to be updating his diary to the same degree if she’s being left in charge of 10 children!!

Hi op
I'm going to be sending my little girl to nursery in about a month and reading what you wrote I put myself in your position. I would ask for a meeting with the manager and put across your concerns and see what they say. If it continues I would look for another nursery as this is your child you have a right to feel comfortable and right now you don't. Always follow your instincts. Good luck

So you'd rather he had no socks on? I'd have been pleased they found a warm alternative.
And 12.23 for go to sleep= very shortly after I checked the clock at 12.20, and I don't think it was as late as 12.25. Other people would just put down 12.25.

What i mean by the sleep thing is that I find it unlikely he went to sleep at that time every single day.
DS had spare socks in his bag and the socks they said he took off earlier that day were also in his bag.
He also has shoes to wear just to clarify

The socks thing isn't an issue. They are busy.

It sounds as though they are (temporarily?) understaffed and the staff there are (understandably) taking the strain.
The micro-managing from home that you are doing will bite you on the bum . You're automatically presuming the member of staff is lying about the precise time your child went to sleep. Isn't it enough that your child slept and you were told?
The socks thing is a non-event.

Bottom line- is your child happy there? You've already pulled him out of one nursery. Might it be that nursery is just not for you? You could explore other options like childminders etc?

One nursery worker shouldn't be left with 10 children in the garden at that age. That's well over ratios. It does sound like they are under staffed but they shouldn't be letting children in the building if they are putting their numbers over. I would definitely bring it up with the manager. The sock thing isn't a big deal.

I think the mean comment ‘I’m not picking you up’ is an issue. Have a chat with the manager and maybe ask if they are understaffed and A has more responsibility than usual

The garden thing isn't on. The rest I'd find harder to get worked up about.

As the first post says, make an appointment with the manager or owner dependent on the structure and talk to them about it. They sound understaffed but regardless of that they need to adequately meet ratios and operate properly. It's unclear to me whether they are doing that.

You sound lime VERY hard work.

Somwould you rather they spend time filling in his online journal rather than looking after him? The sock thing is a total non issue. My grandson comes home from nursery in a variety of clothes despite being sent with spares every day, because he often needs changing more than once. He's usually caked in food, snot and paint but has obviously had a great day, loves his key worker, loves his little nursery friends. If he's happy there, that's the most important thing.keeping changing his nursery over trivial matters is very unsettling for him.

If they do lunch then nap then it is possible he is going to sleep at the same time every day, is he on only one nap a day?

Otherwise, as others have said 10 children to one adult is well over ratio and I'd be bringing that up with the manager.

It's not hard work to want a record of nap times and to expect the staff to check their bags. It may not be A's fault but management should be on this. Arriving to find him wet and cold with no coat on is really not on at all. Something similar happened at my child's first nursery and I get upset when I look back and wonder what else happened while I wasn't there.

Is your child happy to be there? If so, then I would talk to management about your issues. If not, I would pull child out asap.

You are nitpicking apart from the garden ratios

If you had to do the online journal, don't you think that you'd fill in the journals of multiple kids at once? So if 5 kids fell asleep between by 12:20 and it was now 12:23 you might say that those 5 kids went to sleep at 12:23? It's better than him going to a computer 5 times or having to walk around with a notebook noting 5 different times.

If you have loved the nursery for months and these are your complaints I would tread carefully. None of these are deal breakers IMO, and by making a complaint you will inevitably affect your relationship with the staff.

Nothing wrong with having a quick informal chat about something that's bothering you, but I would avoid using the word 'complaint'x

I would want to move my child ... Sounds like a horrible and uncomfortable environment.

Of course you're not overreacting. They are failing to give your child a nice experience. When I was at work all I wanted was dd to enjoy herself and be in a lovely environment.

There were 10 children of varying ages in the garden and A was the only member of staff. Another was cleaning inside the nursery.

That is the point at which I would have removed him and reported them.

OP has noticed the standards, that the nursery set in the first place, are slipping and shes hard work?? Nah, the nursery need to figure out a way to get their standards back to where they were. I would say speak to the manager and mention the issues you've raised here.

The garden ratio would be worth raising. But not as a dig at the only member of staff who was out there.

But would you really the staff rather sit providing you with updates of the minute detail of the day than playing and interacting with the children?

When ds was at nursery we had a home school book and rarely got more than the basics of sleep food and nappies.

YABU about certain things such as sleep, socks and not picking up a child.

Children in nursery get into a routine and tend to go to sleep the same time each day. So what if it's not to the exact same minute?

Nurseries usually have a stash of spare clothes in case of accidents so it's unlikely the socks your DC had on were dirty! How do you know?

Nurseries are busy environments and you cant pick children up all the time. As mean as it sounds sometimes you do have to be firm and say no I'm not picking you up. Particularly if it's a child whose always under your feet and needs to be more independent.

The lack of communication and supervision is something to mention to the manager but honestly, it's a short conversation, not an urgent meeting.

Yes the standards aren’t meeting OPs expectations but that’s something to be raised with the management and their running of the nursery, not a personal complaint about the key worker.

How old are the children in the room because even 10 with 2 staff could be over ratio (I work in a nursery) the sock thing I understand is not great but agree with other posters it’s not the end of the world esp if it’s the only time it’s happened. I think you are concerned about that as it’s on top of all the other concerns and issues you have been having recently (which doesn’t mean it’s not important at all). I think you need to speak to the room leader (if it’s not A) and discuss the issues you are concerned about. If A happens to be the room leader or you aren’t comfortable with whoever that is then speak to the manager. As a parent you are paying for your child to be looked after and the nursery should be doing that and reassuring you at the same time. You should be unclear or confused about anything and the nursery should be communicating well enough with you that you are confident with your choice of childcare for your child