To complain about DS nursery key worker

[Thegracefuloctopus]

DS is 13 months and has been in nursery since he was 9 months. The 1st nursery he was in we pulled him out of after 3 weeks because the nursery was too big and for a number of reasons, we weren't happy with it.
We moved him to a small nursery that has 6 members of staff accross two rooms.
We have loved this nursery so so much and really got on with it. However, recently we have found one particular member of staff is slacking massively and its creating a bit of tension.
This week the manager has been off and these things have escolated.
We have an online system where they keep track of what DS has done that day. DS has a key worked who we shall call A. He is the staff member we have noticed a difference in.
Whenever A uploads details onto DS file, it's not specific. Such as I find it unlikely that DS has gone to sleep at 12.23 every day, which makes me question what of the information is true.
We have also noticed a drop in the updates of what DS is doing in his day. We used to get "DS has been making prints today with brocoli, making them into trees". We now get nothing.
This week dh got there to find DS in soaking wet clothes in the garden, no coat on (despite me sending him with one) and eating mud. There were 10 children of varying ages in the garden and A was the only member of staff. Another was cleaning inside the nursery.
I did drop off and handed DS over with a large lack of conversation, just "what time did he get up" and then walking off.
Yesterday, DH picked DS up to be told "we've put him in some socks we found, we don't know if they are his but he took his off and we couldn't find his" I had noticed the pair of socks that morning drying on the drying rack. DS has now come home in them and they arnt his. There are spare socks in DS bag and I found the socks I sent him in that day in his bag too. AIBU to think you shouldn't put a child in a pair of dirty socks from another child, full well knowing they don't belong to the child you're giving them to?
We have also noticed A speaking to the children in a snappy way, such as "I'm not picking you up" despite the child crying with his arms up. Child in question is not much older than DS.
So, WIBU to mention it to the manager and ask why standards have slipped recently, especially with this staff member. and really question the socks thing.

Should NOT be confused or unclear 👍

I removed Dd when I found her sitting in a garden sunburnt and eating mud.
Final straw for me.
But I had already escalated my concerns and they were not done. So raise your concerns. A sounds frazzled.

Thanks all. It seems to be a bit of a split opinion so far!
My main concern is the drop in standard as we were so happy with it and they have slipped in standard. I'm maybe more sensitive to it after our first experience at another nursery (which this manager knows about as it was a sister setting).
When the manager is back (she seems to have Been off this week) I will mention the ratios and garden issues to her but more of an "I've noticed" rather than a complaint

You're automatically presuming the member of staff is lying about the precise time your child went to sleep. Isn't it enough that your child slept and you were told?

Well, no. If they put down precisely the same time every day, it makes the entire record unreliable, so you can't take it that the child slept at all. For all OP knows, that record gets filled in at any convenient time with random information, possibly before her son even turns up.

Sounds awful.

You're not hard work at all.
If you want to make a complaint, make a complaint. You don't have to 'tread carefully'. What, because you dared to complain they will chuck your DS out of nursery? No

Yes I’d talk to the manager; some of those things wouldn’t especially worry me but it creates a picture of things slipping and you need to feel confident about any setting you’re trusting to look after your DS.

Kids eating mud and sitting in wet clothes, as well as one staff to 10 kids is a cause for concern which I think people are skipping over. And I think the reason it's being ignored is that you've brought up some petty things along side the serious elements.
The member of staff is unlikely to be at fault. It's clear as others have said, they are short staffed

Wearing different socks not a big deal
Telling a child they won't be picked up, not a big deal.
You needing to know every minute detail of what your son is doing - yeah it does make you sound like hard work. Kids play, sleep and eat.

I'd speak to the manager about the main issue and don't have a go at the nursery worker unless you think she is a bad carer which it doesn't look like she is

Yanbu.

No updates, you have no idea what your baby has done all day, no nurturing care (not being picked up despite arms up) being talked to in a snappy manner.

Geez, why do parents choose this type of environment for their babies? Look at childminders instead. You will get home from home loving care and personal accountability with updates, records, next steps and development tracking.

that’s something to be raised with the management and their running of the nursery, not a personal complaint about the key worker.

I think the MAIN issue is the keyworker. He is not being truthful in his updates and not adding any info about what DS has done. The socks are a non issue.

YANBU. I would raise your concerns. It doesn’t sound good enough imo.

I would be most concerned about the dismissive "I'm not picking you up" to another crying child. I think that's really poor in an early years setting. I don't care how busy you are, if a child is crying, then it's a priority to find out why and offer some comfort, even if it's "Oh dear x, what's the matter?" in a kindly voice. Maybe it's not nursery policy to pick the older children up, but you at least get down to their level and give them a cuddle if they're unhappy.

I wouldn't be bothered about the socks, as I can see how they could not find his socks and then someone else later did and popped them in the back without thinking about it, that could happen. The mud eating also wouldn't bother me, tbh, but the ratio and the lack of info I wouldn't be happy about. I do think it's possible he's going to sleep at the same time every day, but it's probably more like "between 20 past and 25 past". I'd speak to the manager, but try to keep it non-confrontational at this stage.
To the posters who think nurseries are a bad, unloving environment, I totally disagree. My daughter's nursery is lovely. She gets so much affection from a range of staff, but the three main ones in her room have been there since she started 18 months ago, so there's consistency too. And we get all of the other things you're talking about too.

Haven't RTFT but my DC is in nursery, she's 16m and has been there since 9m. Some of the things I think you're overreacting on, well everything except concerns about him being outside cold and wet with minimal supervision and also your concern about A being short with crying babes who want a cuddle. I would definitely discuss these instances with nursery manager in a sit down meeting. The other things I think are just part and parcel of a nursery. They are very busy. I couldn't care less if DD comes home in someone else's socks despite me supplying spare ones in her bag - this is a frequent occurrence at our nursery. I don't care. I care that she's well cared for, loved, stimulated, has her nappies changed often etc not about socks that I can understand get dirty, wet, kids take them off and leave them around and staff's priority is not and should not be ensuring kids wear their own socks, it should be the big things I mentioned above.

I think the MAIN issue is the key worker

No. The main issue is the understaffing. That is not the key worker’s fault. The blame lies with management.
The fact that the op moved her child from a ‘sister’ nursery (does that mean owned by the same people) due to poor standards of care would indicate a general issue from the top down - a sort of pile them in, get their money and pay as few staff as they can get away with before parents complain.

The things i would pick up on are..

10 children to 2 staff
Snapping at child
Child soaking wet with no coat on.

Sounds like staff are overstretched and things are starting to slip. This needs raising ASAP with the manager but please focus on the things which impact your child's safety and well-being. I can understand the online record thing is frustrating but if they are overstretched it really is the least important thing to spend time on. Please don't get me wrong, things really don't sound right there but if you you will be more effective in trying to help your dc if you focus on the most important things first.

10 children to 2 staff

One staff member was in the garden with 10 children - at least one of them being a baby. Presumably others are toddlers.
The other staff member was inside cleaning.

I really couldn’t get worked up about most of this. We use a childminder - we just have a pretty vague chat at pick up and we rarely discuss naps, unless he hasn’t slept or didn’t sleep long. I certainly have no idea what time he went to sleep most of the time, never mind to the exact minute! I suppose it makes sense for a nursery to keep detailed logs but I don’t think I would have the time/be bothered to look at them in such close detail, it just sounds like a load of box ticking which actually takes away from quality time spent with the children. With the nap thing it sounds like they regularly put him down at about 12.15 and then it takes a couple of minutes for him to get to sleep - so they just put 12.23 as an estimate?

My son is at the preschool of a well regarded local nursery and to be honest I see some really varied care coming from the staff. If I were the parents of some of the smaller ones I don’t think I id be happy.

I agree about not liking the staff being snappy with the babies. I’m sure I wasn’t perfect as a mother and snapped too. But it’s difficult to see.

I would go with your gut instinct OP. It’s not a secret that childcare isn't well paid. There are a lot of people doing it who don’t particularly care about the children and are there to get their pay check. Keep a very close eye on things and complain if necessary. I had to move DS1 from a preschool when he was two. I was happy and when he left to go to school and DS2 came of age all the wonderful staff had left and the new people were just not well regarded. The preschool really slipped and is now at risk of closing. So I put my three year old elsewhere and am pretty happy, i still have my reservations at times but like you, nothing specific enough to make a complaint to the manager.

Ok so ops child and any other under 2s would be on a 1 : 3 ratio.
If the other children were between 2 and 3 it would be 1 : 4
Children of 3 and over would be 1: 8 (unless member of staff is a qualified EY teacher, then it would be 1 : 13)

With a group ouutside comprising of babies and older children, one would expect at least 2 members of staff to have eyes on the children (rather than one being inside)

I have long experience of nurseries and the diary recording is really a non-issue along with the socks op. The issue here is what your dh saw in the gardens, soaking wet child with no coat on. This is a lack of care on the part of the nursery and don't be put off by others saying they are temporarily short staffed. You are paying for them to be staffed and it is a safety issue as well. Trust your gut here.

I would speak to the manager next week putting the most serious concern first. See how she responds and mention the others. I think you have your doubts about this worker any way. Could you not ask for a change in key worker - obviously this will lead to some awkwardness but you can't be worrying about who is looking after your child.

One thing I will say though, is that the nursery no matter how good, cannot offer the standard of care you would give your child. Your child is one of a number at the nursery. The same as older people care, it is simply not the same as family even when of a high standard.

It sounds like you want a more personal service with more information about his day and more time talking and building a relationship with his main carer. Perhaps a childminder or nanny is a better choice for you.

The socks thing is a bit irritating but not a major deal. The not picking the child up can't be judged without more information. The child may want to be carried all the time and the nursery could be trying to break that habit. The ratios of children to staff outside sound too high.

I have worked in nurseries and the only issue is the garden, but you can't blame his keyworker for that. To the person who said if they're over ratio don't let them in, it doesn't work that way. Imagine dropping your child off and being asked to wait 20 minutes while lot member of staff arrives. Yes they should have more staff but if they haven't it's the managers fault not the key worker.
You've already pulled him out of one nursery, perhaps you need to reassess. I get the feeling nowhere would be good enough for your son.

It sounds like the workers are overstretched!

The reality of this type of care is it is impossible to meet all the needs of all the children immediately

I understand your child is precious and you want the best care. The reality is that in a nursery there will be compromises. Although this seems like a small nursery.

If I were you perhaps monitor the situation and reassess in a few weeks.

Have you thought of sending him too a childminder?

Remember that wherever you send you dc no-one will provide the care the way you would!