AIBU to be upset that DH didn't buy me anything?

[Derbyldn]

DH is abroad on a birthday trip with a few friends he’s coming home tomorrow. When we were FaceTiming him yesterday, DD6 asked if he was buying presents for them, he said yes. Missed his call today, called him back later, he didn’t pick up. Just texted me now that he was out shopping for the kids, no mention of me. I texted him a few days ago, asking him if he could buy me some nice scarves when he goes to the market again which he ignored.AIBU to feel a bit sad? I’ve been abroad before without DH, and I’ve always bought him something, does your DH/DP buy you anything when he goes away or am I just a spoiled brat?

Maybe he's desperately trying to surprise you but you keep asking if he's buying you anything?

He might be keeping his purchases a surprise?

He'd better be!

So you don’t actually even know that he hasn’t bought you anything?

Dh recently abroad and bought dc presents (sweets mainly and t-shirt). I did get a present but had to justify it to him that the perfume I wanted was very much cheaper in duty free. I then reminded him before he left and whilst at the airport. Generally though I don’t get anything on trips 🙂 I did ask him to bring me some American sweets I wanted but he “forgot” -see above buying sweets for the dc 🙄.

But if he hasn’t returned yet you don’t know that he hasn’t bought something and he may be putting it away for Xmas (looking at you dh!!!!)

My husband is the same. I've now adjusted to it and decide to buy things for myself as and when I feel like it on his behalf

Maybe he has bought you something, or plans to. I hope so Op. No point in feeling sad yet. You’ll know soon enough and then you can have a conversation about it.

And to answer your question; yes, DH and I do buy little gifts for each other and DD when we are away on trips or on business.

But no, generally not. Generally if either of us are away we’re busy doing whatever it is we’ve gone for, we don’t tend to go shopping. Also we’ve got enough stuff in the house without adding to it!
I suppose if either of us asked for something in particular we’d try to get it.

If he isn't home yet, I think you're jumping the gun a little to be sad.

You don't know that he's not bought you anything yet! Just chill your boots and see what happens - he could be working on a surprise.

I think if he didn't come back with anything having been out and about I'd be a bit put out, but I think DH and my bar is pretty low - we both travel for work and if nothing else is doable we've bought each other glossy magazines or limited edition Nutella (don't ask) from the airport and been happy with each other!

AIBU to feel a bit sad? I’ve been abroad before without DH, and I’ve always bought him something

Does he want 'something from abroad'? I would not personally. If I wanted several scarves I'd rather buy my own.

It certainly is not a universal expectation to bring a gift from holiday- you need to explain to him that this is very important to you.

am I just a spoiled brat?

No, you feel as you feel- everyone has their little foibles. It would be brattish to expect him to read your mind, or to be similarly exercised over lots of small issues.

How do you know he's not bought you anything? All you're going on is an unreplied-to message and a comment about shopping for your DC. Maybe wait until he's home with nothing for you before you start getting all worked up about it?

Utterly bizarre, the way grown adults are at times.

I stopped buying holiday gifts when I realised the buying of them was seriously interfering with my enjoyment of the holiday. I might just make an exception for a small child.

I wouldn’t expect a present from a person going on holiday

Maybe he didn't get your message as he's abroad?

But you don't know he hasn't bought you anything, you're just assuming

I’m usually really sympathetic in situations like when the partner ignores a birthday or puts minimal effort in- but in this case sorry OP you’re being unreasonable and quite childish. Can’t imagine giving a single shit about getting some tat from abroad to be honest.

My H goes away yearly and at a push I expect a bottle of gin. My h is away with his friends and I don’t expect him to visit shops to buy me a present. He usually stops in at the supermarket for a toy for our youngest.

I’d like a present bringing back I wouldn’t expect it though but it would be nice to receive but if he doesn’t then I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it just remember next time you’re away 😁

I wouldn't expect anything. Since you asked for something be nice if he got it but so what if he doesn,t. Doesn,t mean he appreciates you any less.

YANBU

DH took DD to Italy and he didn't need telling to bring things home for the other children who hadn't gone. He also bought me gifts.

Do adults really get bratty over this stuff?? Some of the adults we have on mumsnet amuse me daily

I wouldn't want or expect anything, and no we don't usually buy each other anything. Maybe at most some treats to share amongst all of us. We do travel often enough though and really I don't want more stuff cluttering up the house.

I wouldn't be bothered, but I hate the whole buying a present on holiday thing, young kids I understand but I never buy holiday presents for people, Not everything requires a present, it's just odd!