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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think a perfume advert shouldn't feature choking?

46 replies

PeterRouseTheFleshofMankind · 22/10/2019 21:15

Earlier on Twitter I came across a clip of Robert Pattinson's new advert for Dior. Part of a bigger ad campaign, huge marketing I think. He starts making out in a lift with a girl, all pretty hot really, but then starts putting his hand around her neck several times and is holding her, basically like the act of choking.

What. The. Fuck? In a perfume advert? I don't know if this is going to be on telly, but seriously, when the fuck did this become so normal?

Lots of comments on twitter along the lines of 'wish he would grab me round the neck like that' etc - do we really believe that women have always unconsciously loved to be choked during sex and its only this generation that have finally discovered it or something? And how come she never grabs him around the neck, why is it just the woman on the receiving end?

Clip is here:

OP posts:
Disfordarkchocolate · 22/10/2019 21:18

I've stopped watching tv that is the pornification of the death of women and children, soon I won't even be able to watch the adverts.

PeterRouseTheFleshofMankind · 22/10/2019 21:24

His hand looks so massive around her neck as well, he looks like he wouldn't even have to squeeze that hard to do her serious damage.

It's horrible Sad

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 22/10/2019 21:29

I'm not going to watch it but are they supposed to be strangers before they do this? Because that's even worse. No consent sought or given. Because BDSM has become something 'everyone' does and therefore you don't need to be really careful about safety and consent. Except you DO.

AutumnRose1 · 22/10/2019 21:33

Looks like the ad is 5 years old at least

Things move so fast online, was choking that big a thing at that time?

I would guess it's not going on tv if it's that old.

PeterRouseTheFleshofMankind · 22/10/2019 21:42

Yes it does look like they are supposed to be strangers. It seems to be that they are standing next to each other in the lift and he is fantasising about it. It certainly doesn't look like he asked her!

The dates thing is really odd actually - this article says that Pattinson was announced as the face of Dior in June, and it's only in the last couple of days that everyone on Twitter is going nuts over it, but yes I hadn't noticed that video was uploaded in 2014... A few references to 50 shades in the comments from 5 years ago.

www.freepressjournal.in/entertainment/robert-pattinson-just-redefined-male-hotness-in-new-dior-ad-and-twitter-cant-keep-calm

It's revolting whatever tbh.

OP posts:
AnathemaPulsifer · 22/10/2019 22:07

I can’t get that worked up about his hand on her neck. Doesn’t look like he’s squeezing.

Shortfeet · 22/10/2019 22:11

I just watched it.
It’s very erotic.
I don’t really see it as choking

WhineUp · 22/10/2019 22:16

Just more normalisation of abhorrent fetishes.

I fail to see the eroticism in this.

(Here's an idea - how about an advert which, if it MUST include sex, promotes positive sex? Now THAT would be truly daring and innovative.)

MorganKitten · 22/10/2019 22:16

Not choking at all, some of us enjoy it but then I’m not judging other people.

BarbaraStrozzi · 22/10/2019 22:19

Looks like choking to me.

I don't care that some women have been conned by porn culture into thinking this is erotic, I think there's no fucking excuse for mainstream media eroticising violence against women.

WhineUp · 22/10/2019 22:20

@BarbaraStrozzi

standing ovation

PeterRouseTheFleshofMankind · 22/10/2019 22:23

Why does he even have to put his hand round her neck like that then? It's so grim that young women have been conditioned into thinking this is sexy.

OP posts:
WaggleWiggle · 22/10/2019 22:23

I hate this advert. If any man did that to me, I’d knee him in the balls. I don’t get the normalisation of choking. If someone’s into it, fine, but it’s really not something advertisers should be linking to toiletries.

WhineUp · 22/10/2019 22:24

Cause (far too many) men think abusive practices make them manly and all. And women have been conditioned to think they like it.

Shortfeet · 22/10/2019 22:25

I think it’s erotic and I don’t think it’s choking.
Others may think differently.

I have not been conned by porn culture , @Barbarastrozzi

That’s quite a leap to suggest so !

AutumnRose1 · 22/10/2019 22:59

It's weird because I didn't know about the choking thing till recently

So, if I'd seen it when it was produced I don't think I'd have had an issue

Stormzy lyrics on the other hand....that was an immediate, OMD is this really just a mainstream lyric now.

Moondancer73 · 22/10/2019 23:01

Choking - where? Nothing in that video that looks like choking to me.
Yes, his hand is on her neck but he's not squeezing. It's called passion Hmm

OwlinaTree · 22/10/2019 23:03

I dunno, it just looked liked he'd got his hands on her neck, it didn't look like choking but it was like a dominant gesture I suppose.

FamilyOfAliens · 22/10/2019 23:08

I think it’s erotic and I don’t think it’s choking

I have not been conned by porn culture

HopefullyAnonymous · 22/10/2019 23:14

Which Stormzy song?

Butterisbest · 22/10/2019 23:17

He had his hand on her neck and then he moved her, he shifted her across the lift by her neck.
Not erotic at all. I might have found the hand cupping the side of my head to be ok. But the minute someone moved my body by holding my neck. Fucking knee to the bollocks right there and then.

NotALoozerHonestly · 22/10/2019 23:42

Choking gets a flat no from me, but this doesn't look like choking?

When I look at that ad I see him fondling her neck, the way he does the side of her head and then moves down her body.

Really didn't get a violent sense from it, and I fucking hate choking being normalised as part of sex.

AutumnRose1 · 22/10/2019 23:56

Hopefully Vossi Bop

pallisers · 23/10/2019 00:05

I'm remembering what it was like to be a sexually active young woman in the 80s and early 90s. Any man putting his hand on my throat like that would have been an utter red flag - I'd have moved out of his embrace and said "sorry but what are you doing here" I can't imagine any of my ex boyfriends doing this though.

I think this ad very carefully trod the line between choking and hand on throat (have never had hand on throat in any sexual encounters by the way - hands were usually somewhere way more effective in getting a response - do some women get aroused by their thoats being carressed? back in my day men went for other areas if they wanted to arouse you. Who knew) but we all know what it is saying about how men and women should interact sexually.

Dismal.

rainingallday · 23/10/2019 00:09

Can't make up my mind.

On the fence a bit.

It's pretty tame, but it is a bit close the bone yep. Shows him putting his hands around her neck briefly, as if to choke. But he doesn't do it.

I'm not articulating myself well here, but the upshot is I don't hate it, but something doesn't sit right with me about it.