You're just anxious, you dont 'have anxiety' stop it.

[GreenyEye]

Anxiety is a diagnosable medical condition.

Being anxious is normal, everyone gets anxious/worried.

Anxiety is when it takes over your life and affects your ability to function day to day, when it becomes abnormal.

AIBU to tell people to stop saying you 'have anxiety' unless you have actually seen a Dr or someone professionally qualified to diagnose it.

You're making it much harder for those of us with medically recognised Anxiety Disorder to be taken seriously.

Some of these comments are just vile .
So am I just “nervous” every morning when I wake up and wonder what bad thing is going to happen today ?
Am I just nervous every single school run because I think people are going to judge me for how I look or what I wear ?
Am I just nervous when my husband is 5 mins late home and I assume he’s got in to a car accident ?
Is it just “normal” nerves that I second guess every single conversation I have with friends , people in shops ,gp’s , neighbours .. because I worry I’ve said something stupid or I’ve managed to offend them ?
Is it also nerves that I always look for the bad stuff and expect it so then I can never be disappointed and that as a result I rarely let myself be happy or excited about anything ?
Wow .. if that’s normal then I honestly don’t know how people live .

Oh and I should add about not being able to sleep- panic attacks when I lay down so I feel like I can’t catch my breath and my heart races so much I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack ? No ?
All normal then and I’m just trying to join this super fun popular club of Anxiety sufferers for attention?

Some of these comments are just vile .
So am I just “nervous” every morning when I wake up and wonder what bad thing is going to happen today ?
Am I just nervous every single school run because I think people are going to judge me for how I look or what I wear ?
Am I just nervous when my husband is 5 mins late home and I assume he’s got in to a car accident ?
Is it just “normal” nerves that I second guess every single conversation I have with friends , people in shops ,gp’s , neighbours .. because I worry I’ve said something stupid or I’ve managed to offend them ?
Is it also nerves that I always look for the bad stuff and expect it so then I can never be disappointed and that as a result I rarely let myself be happy or excited about anything ?
Wow .. if that’s normal then I honestly don’t know how people live

A lot of this is me. Certainly the ones about family being 5 mins late home and I start to worry (I'd put that down to an over-active imagination) - and worrying about things I have said in case I have embarrassed myself or made them think I was stupid. And I used to hate going anywhere near a school for pick-ups etc. That's down to a lack of confidence, not a mental health issue. I realise we are all different but I think some things are just character traits.

I agree that Anxiety Disorders (I have crippling OCD) are different to just simple anxiety however 'Anxiety' is not a disorder, just a state of fear and worry.

Generalised Anxiety Disorder, Phobias, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Panic Disorder and Agoraphobia are psychiatric disorders associated with marked anxiety but anyone is allowed to say that they feel anxious or that they struggle with anxiety.

I have been to the doctors about my anxiety but I’ve never had an ‘official’ diagnosis and I can ensure you my anxiety is awful.

Some people are too anxious to go to the bloody doctors about so it’s a vicious circle.

I have what I believe is high functioning anxiety. To most people I seem fine but inside I am really suffering but somehow I manage. I’ve been suffering with anxiety since I was about 7 or 8 so I’ve learnt to cope. I plucked up the courage to go to the doctors yesterday, first time in 3 years. The doctor was really kind and after Some blood tests next week he wants me to go back to discuss my issues but we didn’t have time yesterday.

Just because I’m not diagnosed does that mean I’m not anxious?!

I think that the anxiety experienced in diagnosable anxiety disorders is more like 'terror' than worry.

Most people do experience worry and anxiety; not everyone experiences the disabling terror of a psychiatric disorder.

Jizelle - yes, like anxiety, OCD is a recognised, diagnosable mental health condition. But unlike anxiety, that is the only definition of it. Whereas anxious/anxiety have two definitions 1) feeling worried, nervous, apprehensive etc and 2) having a medically recognised anxiety disorder.

People who say 'Oh I'm a bit OCD about x,y or z' are dicks. People who say 'I have anxiety' may have a medically diagnosable anxiety disorder, or they may be using a perfectly valid meaning of the word 'anxiety' to mean they are anxious about stuff. It seems a bit unreasonable to think you know which it 8s, unless you know the person very well indeed.

Bumblebee, I don't think that's what the OP meant- I think you do struggle with clinically significant anxiety, otherwise you would not consider seeing the GP about it.

I think she probably just means when psychologically healthy people use it as an excuse or label themselves as having anxiety or OCD just because they feel anxious from time-to-time.

Anxiety is just an emotional state- anyone can claim to have it or struggle with it. Anxiety Disorders are Psychiatric conditions, which need treatment and disrupt a person's life (work, home etc) or cause significant distress and impact on wellbeing.

Carla at work likes to say she has OCD because she prefers to keep her notebook perpendicular to the edge of her desk. I like to say I have OCD because, without medication, I am rendered unable to function by constant intrusive thoughts mainly centred around imagery of the dismembered and putrefied corpses of my partner and children. It's not like she's trivialising my serious and debilitating mental illness. Oh, wait, she is. Just like people who say they 'have anxiety' when they are, actually, just worried, or a bit anxious, are trivialising anxiety disorders. It's shitty and selfish and you should stop

I can't count anything. If I do, I have to get to 100 at least because there's a voice in my head that says my daughter will die at the age I stop. So I have to forcibly stop myself from counting anything. I have coping mechanisms for when I have to count things. My therapist told me I have to avoid indulging compulsions like this one (it's not just counting) or they'll get worse. No one I know in real life knows about this (aside from.my therapist- privately paid for) and so far I've managed to control it without medication.

Maybe Carla needs to line up her notebook with the side of her desk because otherwise her family will die in some horrible way her brain invented. You don't know, so don't judge and mind your own business.

I think that the anxiety experienced in diagnosable anxiety disorders is more like 'terror' than worry.

Most people do experience worry and anxiety; not everyone experiences the disabling terror of a psychiatric disorder*

That's not how I understand it. My understanding is that anxiety in response to a specific stimulus, such as a job interview, is normal. Anxiety that is present for much of the time but with no specific cause is a mental illness. It doesn't have to be debilitating terror.

@Fizzyice

No, what you're describing is definitely not 'nerves' and I would urge you to seek some support and help from somewhere.

As I have said if you'd bothered reading the thread, I take back what I said about needing a diagnosis, because of COURSE there are people like yourself that obviously have a problem, and haven't yet sought help, but would absolutely meet the threshold of being diagnosed with GAD and offered help and support by the MH team/GP.

But again, i'm talking about the people who DONT and wouldn't meet the threshold claiming they have a MH disorder.

Ok, I must have missed that ,apologies.
I actually have an appointment booked for next week . I originally had one for yesterday but of course I cancelled as I’m worried the gp will think I’m bloody ridiculous and I’m worried I’ll burst into tears like i did when I went for depression quite a few years back

@rolytherhino I'm not going to get into a misery-contest with you - your intrusive thoughts sound awful and I empathise. 'Carla', however, is not a specific person but rather a rhetorical device to describe the many people I encounter who use 'OCD' to describe their preference for tidy stationery or a clean car. I'm certain that the vast, vast majority of them do not actually have OCD (pure or otherwise) and are just trying to be cute and quirky, and therefore my point still, absolutely, stands.

but it's a perfectly normal word for being anxious in normal parlance.

Like saying you are depressed when you have a down day?

Or saying you have OCD because you like to have a clean house?

Or saying you have Tourette’s just because you are a bit sweary?

Or, does dumbing down these conditions make it harder for those who actually have to live with them because it fosters a deep misunderstanding of just how difficult life can be?

But again, i'm talking about the people who DONT and wouldn't meet the threshold claiming they have a MH disorder.

And how can you tell who those people are?

That's a really good point RolytheRhino
Sometimes, I'm a bit... anxious/OCD/whatever really means, 'I know you're going to notice I do weird stuff but this is my coping mechanism and I need to make a little reference to it but what's actually going on is much worse'

Your being a bit precious about anxiety, did no one ever tell you as a child that you must share?

You are wrong. You have no idea what goes on in people’s heads or lives.

It’s actually crossed my mind once or twice in casual conversation whether people realise when I say “Preparing to go on holiday gives me anxiety”, for example, that I take med for it, usually spend time rocking with my head in my hands, can’t eat for 48hrs and often have to lie down on the floor in airports.
You’d probably just think I meant “Packing stresses me out a bit” and that I was being overdramatic.

You should think about being less judgmental.

I think you need to be careful about deciding someone doesn't have anxiety just because they don't have a diagnosis. I don't have an anxiety diagnosis but I do have an autism diagnosis so I'd like to think nobody would suggest my off the scale anxiety isn't proper 'anxiety'. However I have a friend who has no diagnosis but I think she makes me look positively zen. And don't forget that everyone with a diagnosis was at some point suffering without one.

But again, i'm talking about the people who DONT and wouldn't meet the threshold claiming they have a MH disorder

If my neighbour says she's anxious about X, Y or Z should I ask her if she deserves to use that term and feel terribly offended if she hasn't got a diagnosed disorder?

How on earth to you decide who gets to use your terminology?

Like saying you are depressed when you have a down day? Or saying you have OCD because you like to have a clean house? Or saying you have Tourette’s just because you are a bit sweary?

No, not like that. Because as has been pointed out many times on this thread, being anxious/having anxiety is not a phrase that is solely used for medically diagnosed anxiety disorders, unless you are disagreeing with the dictionary.

Stop trying to police other people's perfectly reasonable and accurate use of words which have existed for a long time, and stop assuming you magically know the level of anxiety of another person so that ypu can judge whether they deserve to be allowed to say they have anxiety.

I'm certain that the vast, vast majority of them do not actually have OCD (pure or otherwise) and are just trying to be cute and quirky, and therefore my point still, absolutely, stands

Actually, I don't think it does, because although some of them may well be just using it to mean 'a bit particular about this thing' some of them won't be. And you don't know which. Now, I would never say I have OCD because I'm not sure I do and because it's no one else's business. But if someone else does feel the need to provide an excuse for their coping mechanism, without providing their full psychiatric history to you in order to prove that they are actually suffering, and you label them, 'shitty and selfish' for it, I actually think that's pretty shitty of you.

@FizzyIce

They won't think your ridiculous at all, and please dont worry if talking about it does make you cry... i've forgotten the amount of times i've cried in front of my GP and Therapist while talking about stuff.. i've also completed frozen and been unable to talk about things I need to because even mentioning these things i've secretly been feeling can sometimes be so paralyzingly anxiety inducing, and they've understood how hard it is for me.

Just remember, they're there to help you and point you towards the support that will get you on the path to feeling better and learning to cope, it doesn't matter if you cry, they've seen all kinds of things and tears when you're scared are normal ok?

Good luck with it, I really hope they can get you help because I know living with that level of fear is not fun

For what it's worth, OP, I don't think you're being unreasonable.

Everyone on MN seems to have some sort of anxiety, on the sliding scale between 'being anxious' and having a full blown 'anxiety disorder'.

It's noticeable, and isn't my experience in real life at all.

@rolytherhino I'm sorry, I tried to be calm and patient with you but you're not getting it either because you don't want to or because it's a bit over your head. People claiming they have OCD because they like things to be orderly is, almost always, a shitty and selfish and thoughtless thing to do because, almost always, these people do not have OCD. Do you think I'm giving lectures to people who do this or asking for their diagnoses? No, of course I'm not, and you know that. In reality I let it go and hope that the person who has said it isn't actually suffering from OCD because I wouldn't wish it on my shittiest, most selfish enemy.
The point that I am apparently required to lay out for you on a silver platter is that tidiness isn't OCD and using it as a synonym trivialises it and contributes to the fact when I have had to take time off work because of it, I have been treated as some kind of skiver or drama queen. People need to learn it's not a term to throw around. I would think that if you suffer from it that would be clear to you but then I think people should understand lots of things that they often don't.