You're just anxious, you dont 'have anxiety' stop it.

[GreenyEye]

Anxiety is a diagnosable medical condition.

Being anxious is normal, everyone gets anxious/worried.

Anxiety is when it takes over your life and affects your ability to function day to day, when it becomes abnormal.

AIBU to tell people to stop saying you 'have anxiety' unless you have actually seen a Dr or someone professionally qualified to diagnose it.

You're making it much harder for those of us with medically recognised Anxiety Disorder to be taken seriously.

As PP's have said, if someone "has anxiety" they have a long-term illness that can significantly impact their quality of life. If, however, they "feel/are anxious" about something specific, they don't have an illness. It doesn't mean that they're not suffering, but it's a temporary emotional reaction.

Which you can get from the context of what they are saying - I don't think the terminology matters. It's like the "IT'S NOT FLU!" brigade - who cares? When one of my office mates is off work for a day, and comes back claiming to have had flu, it doesn't bother me. It doesn't mean that I somehow see flu as being less dangerous, just because they have mislabelled a cold. It also doesn't mean that when a friend goes AWOL for a few days, and I find out that they have flu, I automatically assume that they must just have had a cold, because of my office mates mis-labelling of one.

@ FlamingoWingo

I have a friend who suffers from clinical depression, the sort where she literally couldn't get out of bed. I would think "mild" depression would be feeling down about life in general but still able to function day-to-day.

Some people might need help to recover from mild depression (i.e. A-D's or therapy) or they might be able to manage it. Severe depression definitely requires medical intervention IMO.

And @ilovemushroomsoup, what would you describe as ‘mild depression’?

Personally I would classify mild depression as spending most days feeling sad or low, but not yet being at the stage where you're unable to function.

It's so important not to dismiss people who are at that stage.

Thanks @ilovemushroomsoup and @flamingowingo

Anxiety is awful. I feel for anyone who suffers with it.

@Areyoufree

But don't you think it trivialises a real mental illness? The 'flu analogy does bug me because influenza is quite a serious illness that people can/do die from - it's nothing like a cold! Most sufferers are in bed ill for two-three weeks, not coughing and blowing their noses for a few days.

Similarly, what I felt for six months after my Mum died shouldn't be equated with clinical depression. I felt down, dragged myself into work and didn't socialise much and was generally a misery. It wasn't the same as being unable to get out of bed and neglecting basic self-care.

I agree with you, OP. So many people claim that they have anxiety when they really don't, and it carries the distinct danger that those with genuine anxiety aren't dealt with properly and don't get the right treatment. It seems to be a particular problem on these pages, when people so regularly claim that "my anxiety" (and it feels like something they lovingly keep clutched close to them, like a toy) stops them from taking the obvious sensible action to sort out any problems they claim to have, when it's perfectly obvious that, whatever is causing their reluctance, it certainly isn't any sort of mental health problem - if it really was, they'd get treatment for it.

And you know they haven't been 'officially' diagnosed how?

Are you saying today you didn't "have anxiety' the day before you were diagnosed? Of course you did, you just hadn't got a formal diagnosis. And saying you're "just anxious" is quite patronising

@AmICrazyorWhat2

But don't you think it trivialises a real mental illness?

No, because I can get the difference from the context of what people say. If I ask a friend how they are, and they answer "Depressed.", a few questions can easily ascertain whether it is a temporary state that requires some support and TLC, or whether they need gentle encouragement to talk to a GP or other professional. I think that people know how serious depression or anxiety can be - in the same way that people know that flu is one of the most deadly diseases of all time, but will still use the term for any respiratory infection. To be honest, I think all of this arguing about semantics is unnecessarily divisive, and pulls focus away from the real issue, which is the current lack of support for mental health issues.

it certainly isn't any sort of mental health problem - if it really was, they'd get treatment for it.

Many people feel unable to seek the treatment they deserve. It's very naive to think those suffering are all able to seek the support the need.

To conclude someone isn't suffering from a mental health condition because they haven't sought treatment is ridiculous.

Not meaning to be flippant but what do you mean by: 'You're making it much harder for those of us with medically recognised Anxiety Disorder to be taken seriously'. Who have you found not to take a diagnosis of anxiety disorder seriously? How can you tell who does and doesn't have an anxiety disorder?

I've not been diagnosed with GAD by a doctor, as the thought of even phoning up/going into the doctor's surgery to ask for an appointment, let alone attending and having to discuss my mental health makes me feel physically sick. Even typing this, I can feel my heart beating faster. Having said I could never imagine discussing my mental health with people in day to day life either, so I guess my instinct not to discuss my mental health with others out of fear of negative judgment probably isn't such a bad thing.

I agree with the OP. Its as infuriating as when people go Oh he's a bit ADHD or a bit Autistic. Has he been diagnosed or even seen a GP about it? No? Then stop saying he has the condition, it just makes it harder for those who actually do, to be taken seriously.

It's hard enough to deal with the stigma of mental health problems without this shit from people who really should know better.

There was a similar thread a year or two ago, suggesting people shouldn't say they/their kids/their next door neighbour is ''having a meltdown'' as this is something only people with severe autism have. It's a description, not a diagnosis IMO.

This is a similar argument.

@Areyoufree

I know what you're saying.

It's interesting because I have the impression that there's far less stigma attached to mental illness in the UK today, whereas here in the US, it's only just beginning to be talked about and more support services offered.

if someone "has anxiety" they have a long-term illness that can significantly impact their quality of life. If, however, they "feel/are anxious" about something specific, they don't have an illness. It doesn't mean that they're not suffering, but it's a temporary emotional reaction

I agree. I have been anxious, a few years ago I had a job where my boss was a complete nightmare. I was anxious, I would constantly have to check my front door was locked when I left the house or that I had locked the car in the railway station car park, but I would not have recognised that as a mental health issue and I think it would be self-indulgent to say it was (and l would also feel that labelling it as my mental health issue would let my boss off the hook for her behaviour). When I left that job I was a lot less anxious and have been more or less fine ever since. It wasn't an illness or a chemical imbalance of the brain that drugs could have helped, it was a reaction to the stress I was under.

People say that mental health affects everyone, but if it does, then people have historically been really good at keeping it well hidden (or it manifests itself in physical symptoms, and they then take time off work for those). I have been trying to think of people at work who've suffered from mental health issues and I can't think of any. I have known people take time off because their loved ones have had problems, maybe that was the cover-up? Hopefully in future people won't feel that they have to cover it up.

And yes I think saying that you have flu when you've got a cold does trivialise the seriousness of flu.

when they're actually just suffering from normal, temporary situational anxiety, and then declare they're cured with the help of a self help book, a hug and a chat.

That’s exactly how I’m finally getting better! Literally a good self help book and a hug.

I had the most crippling anxiety (that yes was diagnosed by my Dr and a therapist) along with PTSD and OCD.
I tried medication that made me even feel worse and therapy that made me feel frustrated. I was hospitalised because they thought I was having mini strokes when actually it was just the crippling anxiety.
I couldn’t leave the house and for two months couldn’t leave the sofa. I had to have my husband or a family member take me to the toilet and sit next to me while I had a bath.

The only thing that has made a difference is finding a self help book that finally spoke to me and quite honestly getting on and living, even when I was bent over hyperventilating outside the supermarket I put one foot in front of the other and just did it. It hurt like hell and was the most awful time of my life but I’m finally coming out the other side and it’s literally all down to a book and a hug when I needed it, so for you to sniff at my struggles because I didn’t go about fixing myself like you think I should’ve is ridiculous.

People have different struggles and different ways of overcoming them, you and your struggles are no more or less important than anyone else’s.

I wonder if it’s one of the symptoms of anxiety that you need to feel yours is so much worse than anyone else’s as it gives you a reason to wallow in it. Ultimately anxiety is a self perpetuating issue and it needs to be fed so it can keep going, although that doesn’t mean it’s easy to learn not to feed it!

No it's not
Yes it is.

YABU. I haven’t been officially diagnosed with anxiety but due to having seizures in public i’m too anxious to go out alone and public transport is out of the question. What you’re saying @GreenyEye completely diminishes how i’m feeling which is wrong.

Similarly, what I felt for six months after my Mum died shouldn't be equated with clinical depression. I felt down, dragged myself into work and didn't socialise much and was generally a misery. It wasn't the same as being unable to get out of bed and neglecting basic self-care.

Depression comes in different severities:

'Depression can often come on gradually, so it can be difficult to notice something is wrong. Many people try to cope with their symptoms without realising they're unwell. It can sometimes take a friend or family member to suggest something is wrong.

Doctors describe depression by how serious it is:
mild depression – has some impact on your daily life
moderate depression – has a significant impact on your daily life
severe depression – makes it almost impossible to get through daily life; a few people with severe depression may have psychotic symptoms*

You may well have had mild depression. Just because you didn't completely cease to function doesn't mean you didn't have depression.

Sorry, forgot to link:
www.nhs.uk/conditions/clinical-depression/symptoms/

ok, I see your points, its a bit of a harsh stance to take, that you need to have had a diagnosis.

However I still dislike people who're just a bit worried/scared/phobic claiming they have anxiety.

and @ilovemushroomsoup I am not saying people with mild cases of it shouldn't seek help, if CBT can help them in the long run, they should absolutely talk to their GP or local MH team to see if any support can be provided.

I do however also think that in this day and age, with the stress on the NHS MH services, we need to be careful about trying to turn experiencing the spectrum of human emotions into MH conditions.

There is so much about because youngsters today are being taught that any extreme of emotion is dangerous and being anything other than stable/serene needs medical intervention.

In general, YANBU.

However, this comment:

its likely to be a lifelong fight for them to cope.

YABU. I had very severe debilitating anxiety and didn’t leave the house for nearly a decade. After some incredible CBT on the NHS I am now fully recovered and you’d never know I had it at all.

The point I’m trying to make is that anxiety shouldn’t be a lifelong condition, but you really have to put in a lot of work and put yourself out there to recover from it.

There was a similar thread a year or two ago, suggesting people shouldn't say they/their kids/their next door neighbour is ''having a meltdown'' as this is something only people with severe autism have. It's a description, not a diagnosis IMO. This is a similar argument.

Well first off, not only people with "severe autism" have meltdowns, an autistic person doesn't have to be severely autistic to have a meltdown. Secondly, no, that's not really an apt comparison. For one thing the meltdowns autistic people can have are not even close in severity and scale to what people are referring to when they say their kid/friend/neighbout in question is having a meltdown. Not to mention the fact that autistic people are often unable to control themselves whilst having a meltdown, and they can be very distressing. So I can totally get why parents of autistic children might be annoyed to hear the word meltdown being used to describe someone who's in a bit of a strop.
To put it into perspective when my autistic brother has meltdowns he's sometimes smashed up his room, destroyed furniture and electronics, and bitten his hands to the point they've bled. See the difference?

Also, there's no clinical definition of a meltdown. So how can you compare the two?
There is however a clinical definition of anxiety disorder. And it does make a difference, a person saying they have anxiety when they merely feel anxious about something is trivialising the issues people with anxiety have.