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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not act as guarantor for my DB?

74 replies

user1471605514 · 22/10/2019 13:10

My brother is splitting from his wife and needs to find a new home for himself and his 2 children immediately as they are being evicted. This is through no fault of his own - his DW had been lying about paying the rent.
He has asked whether I could be guarantor for a new rental as he has a poor credit rating (due to financial abuse by DW) and I feel awful but have said no.
The rent is in an expensive area (he needs to stay in the area for work and the children’s school) and I would not be able to afford even one months rent on top of my own outgoings if he were to not pay. It’s not that I don’t trust him but he is in a new job on a temporary contract and who knows what is around the corner.
I feel awful as we are the only family in a position to help but it would be a massive worry on my shoulders if I agreed.
He is saying he is incredibly hurt that I won’t help him but doesn’t seem to appreciate the risk I would be taking.
So AIBU?

OP posts:

PettyContractor · 22/10/2019 14:15

He needs to understand that it's not a meaningless signature on a piece of paper. Someone is only in a financial position to be guarantor if they have enough spare cash lying around to fund the maximum amount they might have to pay.

HollyGoLoudly1 · 22/10/2019 14:17

YANBU. I would be wary of being guarantor for ANYONE let alone if the rent was so expensive I couldn't afford to pay it if they defaulted. It's a huge responsibility and I'm a worrier about money at the best of times.

Pharlapwasthebest · 22/10/2019 14:20

You’re doing the right thing, you can’t put yourself at risk.

Itsallpetetong · 22/10/2019 14:21

YANBU. I wouldn’t leave myself open to paying any debt incurred if something were to happen either.

Streamside · 22/10/2019 14:24

I acted as guarantor for a friend and felt sick throughout the entire period.I could have lost my home and there were also implications for my student children.Six months later she asked to increase the loan and for me to guarantee it.I refused and she got another friend to do it.Its an awful thing to say but I even worried that she would die during the guarantor period.

CinnamonMentos · 22/10/2019 14:26

Literally watched an episodes of Can’t Pay We’ll Take It Away yesterday where a lady became guarantor for her sister. Sister didn’t pay the rent and was evicted. They came after her, for the sum of £12,000 I think.

Never be a guarantor for anyone.

ANiceLuxury · 22/10/2019 14:26

Even if you would of said yes you wouldn't of been accepted anyway as they make sure you could afford it before they let you sign for it.

Contraceptionismyfriend · 22/10/2019 14:32

No @TulipsTulipsTulips worst case scenario is that DB doesn't pay and bailiffs begin knocking on OPs door with the power to repossess her belongings and cars and also put a black mark against her credit.

mclover · 22/10/2019 14:41

Can you offer him to stay with you till he gets back on his feet/ saved enough for an extra months rent? I'm sure all the cousins will enjoy bunking in together for a month and he could kip on the sofa? Not ideal but better than nothing

Jaxhog · 22/10/2019 14:47

but doesn’t seem to appreciate the risk I would be taking.

This would make it a no for me. He'll have the same attitude when he gets into debt. He'll walk away and you'll be up shit creek.

Jaxhog · 22/10/2019 14:48

And NEVER be a guarantor unless you can afford to pay the default.

MitziK · 22/10/2019 14:55

Christ, no. Don't guarantee rent, as it'll be secured upon your home.

They will at the very least be eligible for temporary accommodation until the local council establish whether they are intentionally homeless due to refusal to pay the rent or whether they accept that he was subject to financial abuse.

This might not be somewhere pleasant, but it will be a roof over their heads and the time it takes to reach a decision could give him enough time to get himself together and find somewhere more suitable.

But no, you might as well hand the deeds to your home over, as 1. He could be lying, 2. He might take her back, and 3. He could lose that job and be dependent upon benefits, which the private landlord won't give a single fuck about, they'll just come straight for you and your home.

GingersAreLush · 22/10/2019 14:59

YANBU but I completely understand why your brother is upset- the pressure he is under must be immense and I hope he finds another way round this. But you’ve done the right thing- it’s a big responsibility and you can not personally afford it if you end up being held responsible for the rent.

Babbabump · 22/10/2019 15:09

What's his other option? Do they children stay with him full time?

pooopypants · 22/10/2019 15:13

I think you're being sensible.

DH just had to decline to be a guarantor for someone as it then shows on your credit file as having responsibility for 2 properties (I believe)

So no. Stand your ground, gently.

Durgasarrow · 22/10/2019 15:15

You can't afford it. You're being smart.

Itsjustmee · 22/10/2019 15:20

once your a guarantor it’s very hard to get out off
So even if you only want to be one for 6 months if he goes on to a rolling tenancy contract your screwed until he leaves the actual contract

Butterflyone12e · 22/10/2019 15:23

YANBU. I was guarantor for my DB for a loan. I ended up having to pay his monthly repayments until I had to clear the debt in full as it affected my affordability for my new mortgage.

gamerchick · 22/10/2019 15:24

Don't do it. It's not just paying an extra month's rent. It's paying all of the arrears in one fell swoop if he didn't tell you he can't pay. Bailiff territory.

Just no.

BeanBag7 · 22/10/2019 15:26

Worst case scenario is that for some reason he can’t pay, has to move out and you would be liable for the rent until new tenants moe in

That's a very bad scenario in my opinion!

OneForMeToo · 22/10/2019 15:26

Don’t most need to be home owners or earning 3x the rent plus their own housing Costs so you wouldn’t be accepted anyway.

Tensixtysix · 22/10/2019 15:27

Is he usually a wet dishcloth? He needs to understand that you have your own family to look after. He's on his own.
What I don't get is why the kids are getting chucked out as well? Has she been arrested?
Can't he contact the council as he has dependents?

littlepaddypaws · 22/10/2019 15:38

haven't even read the full opening thread and the answer is no, no way and on your bike, no. don't care who you are, just wouldn't happen.

ChicCroissant · 22/10/2019 15:43

YANBU OP, it is a really big ask to be a guarantor. You may not even pass the credit checks even if you wanted to do it anyway.

SuperMeerkat · 22/10/2019 15:47

I would never act as a guarantor but might secretly put away some money in savings (if affordable) so if he needed it to move again quickly then I could help.

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