To wonder if this counts as a disability enough to use the disabled loo?

[Lemononachair]

Inspired by another thread! I have been considering getting myself a radar key so I have access to a toilet when out where there otherwise might not be one, but I'm not sure whether or not I Wbu to do so as I don't know if it 'counts' as a disability as such.

I have a medically diagnosed hyperactive bladder condition, essentially it's urge incontinence. I take muscle relaxant medication to try and control this but it doesn't always help and I have wet myself in public before. As you can imagine this is hugely embarrassing and I'm always nervous about it happening again. It doesn't seem to matter how much or what I drink, whether I do pelvic floor exercises etc (I actually have several kegel toner devices and I believe my pelvic floor is pretty strong) but sometimes the urge is just too strong and I cannot wait or hold it. Sometimes I can need to go 3 times in an hour even if I don't drink anything at all and the urge will come on very quickly and intensely.

Wibu to get myself a key?

I've just got a radar key as I have colitis and dd has IBS. If you find you can't wait for the loo (and let's face it there are regularly queues in the ladies!) then get one.

@Wheat2Harvest you'll notice I did say that I do use the normal toilets where I can. But sometimes the normal ladies is far away from the entrance/side of the shop I'm on etc. In a department store for example I might have to go up three flights of stairs or escalators and right to the back where the cafe is, whereas the disabled toilet might be on the ground floor.

Some of the replies on this thread, while not by any means intentionally ignorant do highlight how little understanding there can be around disability and access issues.

Some reasons that a person who is not a wheelchair user may need an accessible loo include:
My niece with Down Syndrome who sometimes needs personal care during he period.
A friend's child with autism who can't enter a room with an electric dryer.
I have Crohn's Disease and use accessible loo if I can't wait. There is rarely a queue for a disabled loo, in my experience.
Our eleven year old friend with ambulent CP who needs help with wiping.
My friend has arthritis and needs the bars to get onto the loo.

In short, of course you should use the accessible loo, for speed, privacy and dignity. It's what they are there for 🙂

yes I think this is fine. I think there are several reasons why someone might need to use accessible toilet even if not physically handicapped

I think there are several reasons why someone might need to use accessible toilet even if not physically handicapped there's also the situation in older buildings where there may be only two ladies' loos for a possible 50 or more people ... and one has been made "accessible". The idea is that people who need it should be given priority (like priority seats on public transport) not that everyone else should queue for one toilet. And there even some buildings with one "accessible" toilet and NO "inaccessible" ones. It doesn't mean we all have to squat in the bushes outside.

I was in a museum-type place recently that had a set of female toilets, a set of male, and one disabled loo - which was also labelled baby changing and non-binary, so heaven help any disabled person who required that toilet urgently.

YANBU. Get a key.

And again, can I just point out, that you may have to wait for an accessible toilet to become available just as you might have to wait for a standard toilet - having a RADAR key doesn't mean immediate access to such facilities, it just means you can get into the accessible toilet if nobody else is using it. You need a plan B.

Tbh I think as long as you have a reason to be using the disabled loo then it’s fine!

I’ve seen pregnant women using them when women’s loo line was too long...etc I think ‘disabled loos’ are for both those with physical disabilities (wheelchairs...etc) and those unable to hold it in a long queue (IBD/pregnancy).

I'm really glad you asked this, I've had the same condition since I was a child and have often wondered if I could justify getting a key but was too embarrassed to.

I'm also battling to get bladder Botox which is the only thing that worked, have you considered that?

YANBU. Nobody should have to wet themselves because they can’t access a toilet. If the only toilet you’re going to be able to access before setting yourself is the accessible one then of course you’re reasonable to use it. If the standard ladies toilets are close to the accessible toilet and queue free then of course it’s preferable to use that one when you can, but in a situation where there’s a long queue or where they’re situated at the other end of the building then incontinence is a very valid reason to use one. In my local area I also find that the public toilets are often locked after about 6pm but the accessible toilet is still accessible with a radar key which is helpful if you know you’re not going to be able to wait until you get home.

YANBU. The needs of people with incontinence is absolutely one of the things the radar key scheme is for.

For example it's not uncommon for the 'regular' public toilets to be closed at night to deter abuse, with only the radar-locked disabled toilet available 24/7.

YANBU

www.bladderandbowel.org/help-information/just-cant-wait-card/

You might also find this useful, I have friends who have used it to 'queue-jump' if there's a long wait or to access staff toilets in places where they wouldn't normally let members of the public use them.

YANBU. The accessible toilet is there for those who need it. There will be occasions when you need it, so use it.

Glad a previous poster doesn't go with this 'invisible disabilities' thing. Let's hope she hasn't got one.

Yep, thats a disability, thats what the toilet is for, use it if thats your only option/nearest option etc.

Yup I was a bit urghh at the not doing invisible disabilities ! 2 dc with ASD getting to an age where might be expected to use men's independently and not be in women's also don't want to go in womens.Only they are socially and emotionally much much younger, very vulnerable, both need help tolietting and on bad days won't go in toilets where other people/hand driers/funny smells are. Id rather 'Not do invisible disabilities' either but don't have much choice !

YANBU

Lots of people missing the point that in lots of places there is an accesible loo available in circumstances where a standard one isn't. E.g. stations often shut the standard loos at a certain time but the accesible toilet will always be available via a radar key. Is the OP meant to wet herself just in case someone in a wheelchair comes along?

In any event, you clearly need access for cleaning up any accidents regardless so you can use the sink in the cubicle and also have enough room to stand a little way from the toilet to change (rather than having to stand on the probably grim floor directly by the toilet in your bare feet whilst you change (been there, done that).

YANBU at all if it's restricting what you feel you can do. xx

@Wheat2Harvest I'm not usually one for getting irate on these threads but I find your comment about not being "into" invisible disabilities highly offensive. Invisible disabilities are not a trend that you can choose to accept or not. Believing that something isn't real unless you can see it is an attitude that belongs in the dark ages.

OP, definitely get a radar key. I have because I have IBD and it has saved me numerous times. The only thing you might have to steel yourself for is judgemental bullshit like that above.

You don't 'do' invisible disabilities?

Charming. I shall keep that in mind when I next use a disabled toilet because if I have a fit in a normal cubicle I can't lay down on the floor nor can I stop myself from pissing myself due to Multiple Scolrisis.

But don't worry, you wouldn't know to look at me.

Jesus I can't believe there are still utter arseholes bleating that they don't 'do' invisible disabilities.

Of course it's acceptable. Use whichever toilet is nearest and available when you need to.

I suffer from colitis and have one. If you need to go you need to go

I have IBD and for me it's a combination of the urgency to go, the tragically embarrassing noise and having access to a sink in the cubicle.

We use them sometimes my son is,severely autistic and has learning disabilities and at nine still.in nappies so.I need the room.to change him unfortunately there are not enough " changing places" when out and about ,i.wouldn't say his disability is invisible tbh.