Feel let down by the sleep consultant. I think I probably am being unreasonable.

[DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou]

But I'm tired and desperate. She may well uses mumsnet so Im not going to say her company or bad mouth her, this situation doesn't call for it at all. But things haven't panned out like I thought and I'm gutted.

I have a 10 month old baby who, on a good night, wakes 5-6 times a night.

I paid I think £470 (I need to check exactly how much in a min) for a local sleep consultant who writes a plan, you have a consultation with and Whatsapp support on the night you start.

I desperately need support. He's my 3rd non-sleeping baby and it's support I need which is why I paid so much.

A couple of weeks back we planned to start today. She would phone we would do the consultation I would start tonight.
I did ask what time but she didn't specify.

I asked again this morning and just before 11am she emailed to say she has childcare issues (totally understand, we've all been there!) and can only do 1pm.

1pm was when I was picking my baby up from the CM settling in, I would be driving then putting him to bed.
She can do 7:15 but that's all my kids bedtimes.
She can do tomorrow at 1pm by that's the time I'm collecting DS again. Now she's not replying.

I had everything building up until this point, I got the cot sorted, the white noise, the two black outblinds, prepped the kids, got them earplugs, warned the neighbours.

I'm exhausted and have been very much looking forward to this it's been weeks and weeks since I paid, this has been a long time coming.

I'm going ahead and don't want to wait any longer. She takes a week to respond to emails as it is.

I'm gutted to be going ahead without the very thing I needed in the first place. I realise I sound pathetic but I'm tired and broken.

Oh I went to the HV as well and got their sleep expert but they didnt really help, they asked me to keep a feeding and sleeping diary which almost killed me (as had to fully wake up every time to make note of times and write stuff down) and she advised me to cut out a couple of night feeds and feed on some others. Which didnt work as there was no consistency (eg feed between 2am and 3am only so it trains them to wake up then) and there was literally no other way we could get the baby back to sleep for some wake ups and when we did it was only for 20 min. They dont / can't recommend any form of sleep training before 1 I was told and even then they discourage it but I have a particularly stubborn baby and gentle methods just didnt work (they worked on my first,)

Honestly, I think you need to try letting him self-settle a little bit. Of course, not to the point where he's a screaming mess, but perhaps the gradual retreat method would work for you. Basically, over the course of a few nights, you soothe them in the cot, without picking them up when they cry, and gradually move away from the cot closer and closer to the door. You'll probably end up on the landing! Babies do need to learn how to self-soothe at this stage, otherwise they'll continue to rely on you to do this for them every time they wake up. Check out the gradual retreat method online, it's very effective for lots of people and less brutal than CIO.

That's literally the whole point of the sleep training.
Teaching him to self settle.

Fingers crossed!!

I'm struggling to place the camera somewhere he can't grab the wire though.

The one mental reframe our sleep consultant helped me with was to think of it as "I am inside the room, leaving for increasingly long spaces" vs "I'm outside,coming back periodically to sooth". It helped me with the whole way I did it.

Also to remember that my 20m old was securely attached, but really angry, like when I have to make him sit in a buggy... not like an abandoned baby who didn't kniw where I'd gone.

I did cry it out.
3 nights
What helped me that thinking how the lack of sleep was not impacting me. My baby was sleep deprived!
Mine are now 9 and 7 - no attachment issues!

Bloody hell.

The sleep consultant I used was amazing!!!! It cost me £90 and she fixed everything within a week of first contacting her.

Well there was minimal crying. As soon as I went in to pat him he would stop crying which is great I assumed he would be hysterical and not want to be patted and just be pissed off.

However, he woke 11 times.

This doesn't surprise me whatsoever.

Those who have done this, is it normal to wake THAT many times?

Possibly. If you assume that he hasn’t learned to connect his sleep cycles and each cycle is roughly 40 mins then that makes sense. I would camp out in a corner of his room though.

I am, we share a room at the moment.

i suspect your presence is exacerbating the wakings

I mean, the first 6 wakes I wasn't in the room.

But I do hear what you're saying. We're in a tiny 2 bed flat at the moment while we buy a 5 bed place in which he will have his own room. But until then.... 😫