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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be angry at husband over heating!

69 replies

Pidge40 · 21/10/2019 11:01

Ok so it's a small thing but I'm so mad at my husband!!
About 6 weeks ago he decided that he wanted to change all the radiators in the house so they'd all be matching, at the time I thought it was a good idea as they are a bit mismatched.. the weather has changed in the last week and it's becoming very chilly in the house and abviously we can't have the heating on. He stated this this morning it won't be done for another 2/3 weeks!! I told him that he needs to get it sorted asap!! He said he'd checked the weather and it's not going to be freezing anytime soon and to put another jumper on!!
It's ok for him as he gets to go off to work in a warm office all day whilst I am home with a 3 year old DD and 22 month DS
Raging!!!
AIBU to be so mad with him??

OP posts:
foxatthewindow · 21/10/2019 11:53

YANBU for being mad at him but YABVU for allowing him to fiddle with the heating system this late in the year. It took two plumbers nearly a week to swap out/change/move/re-pipe the radiators in our house. If he doesn’t know what he’s doing he shouldn’t be doing it

TatianaLarina · 21/10/2019 11:56

Moving and repiping takes time though, switching not so much. But yeah, he should be doing it himself.

snowball28 · 21/10/2019 11:59

If he’s just switching them out for new ones then really he should of gotten them done in that first weekend like he said. I had 7 switched out for new ones and a new boiler put in a few months back it took one bloke two days. Is he just being a bit lazy?

PinkiOcelot · 21/10/2019 12:04

I would be ringing an engineer to arrive first thing in the morning when he’s left for work. Sod that another 2-3 weeks!!

Ponoka7 · 21/10/2019 12:12

If it was just adults in the house, I'd say get a cheap heater.

But because of the age of your children, it's unacceptable.

If you were renting, with two children 3 and under, you wouldn't be expected to go without heating for that long.

EileenAlanna · 21/10/2019 12:19

If it was just the 2 of you I'd say put a few jumpers on - I live alone & my heating wont be going on until next month at the earliest - but not when you have very young children at home. Tell him to pull his finger out & get it finished unless he wants to make his children ill.

RavenLG · 21/10/2019 12:28

If he has the radiators and all the connections are the same it shouldn't even take a day surely? We had 2 radiators replaced in our bedroom and spare room. They we're old connections so we needed the water draining below the upstairs level, then some welding done and pipes / connectors replacing. It took about a day all in all. DP has changed a radiator in another room and it took less than an hour and he's not even a plumber (although is a tradesman and has done it before). Your husband is dragging his feet because he's lazy or he's out of his depth and doesn't want to admit it. He could get this done within a week after work with little to no effort. I'd hire someone to change them.

TeaForTara · 21/10/2019 12:43

I agreed to them being done as he said it would only take one weekend!!

That's a bit of a drip feed. He said it would take one weekend and it's been six weeks so far? Tell him he has three options:

  1. Install all the remaining ones tonight himself
  2. Leave the remaining ones until next year and turn the heating back on right now
  3. Pay someone else to complete it tomorrow
Delatron · 21/10/2019 12:46

If he hasn’t the time then just get someone in. Agree though, I’m sure you can still have the heating on while you are switching them around. He doesn’t sound like he knows what he is doing.

Cherrysoup · 21/10/2019 12:47

Cap the pipes of the ones that aren't on yet and put on the bloody heating!

Original poster
Pidge40 · 21/10/2019 12:56

I honestly wouldn't be to bothered if it was just the 2 of us.. when we first brought the house we didn't have any heating for the first winter but toughed it out.
He has always been like this insisting on doing everything himself in the house which was a wreck when we brought it. And I've always helped him. Saving money and all that. And I'm grateful he is so hands on but he makes me mad when he promises to do something and then drags he's heels!!
I think I'm more mad at myself as I knew in the back of my head this would happen and although I did originally say no and to leave untill the summer, I gave in when he promised me it would be done quickly! I'll know for next time!

OP posts:
flouncyfanny · 21/10/2019 12:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SomeonesSomeone · 21/10/2019 13:03

Challenge 1kW Carbon Heater £39.99

www.argos.co.uk/product/5236673

Brilliant, like sitting in front of an open fire. Puts out a decent amount of heat even on the low 500 watt setting. Heats up in minutes, cools down very fast too can easily be switched on and off when you leave or enter a room. You'd have to watch little ones near it but that's true of all heating.

Get one and either hide it or tell DH to jog on when he expects you to freeze while he sits in a lovely warm office.

Has he got any form for being tight with energy costs when it's not him who is cold or is he just a really slow DIYer.

Londonmummy66 · 21/10/2019 13:05

Give him an ultimatum - he does nothing but the radiators next weekend and if he thinks it will take longer then he needs to take a couple of days off work at the beginning of next week to finish the job. WHat isn't finished by the time he goes back to work next week is then done by a plumber that you will book. Nothing like the threat of having another bloke messing on their territory to get them cracking...

SomeonesSomeone · 21/10/2019 13:16

Ah, cross post, so a heel dragger then. I have one of those, no job too small to leave till later or better still "tomorrow".

Sigh, can't live with em, can't fit their neck under the circular saw.

Still recommend the heater though as great for fill in heat on super cold days. I love mine.

flouncyfanny · 21/10/2019 13:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BrendasUmbrella · 21/10/2019 13:18

Buy some portable heaters. I'm sure he's warm at work all day, there's no reason for you and the little ones to be cold all day. Buy one now, and make noises about buying more. It might hurry him along, possibly.

FiddlesticksAkimbo · 21/10/2019 13:18

Just get a couple of fan heaters.

Grape0 · 21/10/2019 13:21

Definitely just phone a plumber yourself. Radiators are relatively cheap and they are easy to fit.

FiddlesticksAkimbo · 21/10/2019 13:25

I’m sure you can still have the heating on while you are switching them around. He doesn’t sound like he knows what he is doing.

Unlikely - he will almost certainly have needed to drain the system to change some of the pipework.

And if you're going to buy temporary electric heaters don't be taken in by bullshit. It doesn't matter how fancy and expensive the thing is. If it burns 500w of lecky it puts out 500w of heat - that's physics! Buy a cheap one.

Lllot5 · 21/10/2019 13:25

He’s doing on purpose. He wants you to be dependent on him.
Sounds like my ex, half a job then we were all waiting for him to condescend to finish it.

ysmaem · 21/10/2019 13:28

I had 7 radiators put in that took less than a week. Put your foot down and tell him he has to sort it asap or you're employing someone to do it properly. YANBU, I'm mad for you!

VeniVidiVoxi · 21/10/2019 13:28

Can't you have the ones on that are fitted? Ask him why they can't be in use. When we had radiators off for decorating the others could be on (making sure valves were closed for the missing ones of course!).

Thatagain · 21/10/2019 13:30

YANBU I have no heating to. My boiler decided to not work and I am in my living room and it's cold. I am p $$d of I do not want to take my coat of. I am thinking about staying in a b&b until it's sorted on my dp expenses. He will not like that but I do not like being cold.