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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To leave my 12 yr old dd on her own?

56 replies

babayjane67 · 21/10/2019 10:19

Hi
I work pt at my dds school as a lunch break supervisor&I've got chance of poss doing another job there as a breakfast club supervisor.
If I get the job it's an extra HR&a half so 7.30-9&it'll mean leaving the house to walk up at 7.10.
At the moment while she's still at the same school,she comes up with me&stays as I'm doing it as overtime this week as one girls already left hence her position has now come up.also I've helped out before when anyone's been out sick etc.
But next Sept she goes up to Secondary school which is much closer to our house but obviously means she won't be coming up to breakfast club with me&I will have to leave her alone in the house from 7.10 til she leaves for school at roughly 8.45.she will be 12 by then.
She's never been left on her own for any length of time before but when I googled it nspcc guidelines say it's fine to leave a child that age for HR or 2 deoending on their maturity&to maybe do some trial runs first of leaving her for 20mims then half HR etc.
Dp doesn't think it's a good idea to leave her but I said well it's another yr away so there's time for her to practice being left alone&fir us to lay ground rules down of not answering the door if anyone knocks.we don't have a landline only mobiles so nobody will ring that she can't speak to.she has a bog standard mobile that she can only ring,txt&take photos with so no internet to worry about.
So aibu to leave her for that HR&a half to do that job?

OP posts:
stucknoue · 22/10/2019 06:48

Take the job, by next year it's a good time to be looking for work with more hours anyway, there's a reason benefits expect you to be full time from age 12 and wrap around care stops. Though at my kids secondary they opened the canteen at 8am for early arrivals and kept the library open until 5 to help parents (and it was free, well they could buy food of course)

EleanorReally · 22/10/2019 07:15

I dont think I would,
I would prefer the after school scenario.

EleanorReally · 22/10/2019 07:17

Will she have to catch a bus?

LagunaBubbles · 22/10/2019 07:23

You and your DP aren't doing her any favours at all by treating her like a young toddler.

babayjane67 · 22/10/2019 09:35

Stucknoue we're not in benefits.
Eleanor the job is for breakfast club not after school so have no choice.
No she doesn't have to catch a bus.its a 15 min walk to the school she's at now&a 3 min walk to the Secondary when she starts next year.
Laguna I'm not my dp is.i asked for opinions as he's against me leaving her alone to do this job.

OP posts:
Passthecake30 · 22/10/2019 17:27

I have a ds in yr 7 who lets himself in every day and is alone for 1.5-2hrs. The only reservation I would have in the morning is that I would worry that he would get distracted with his tablet without me to nag him but an alarm would sort that. I'd also worry that he'd forget to take things to school and not lock the front door properly, however, I live in a very quiet road and I could ask my elderly neighbours to check if my front door was actually shut!

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