How do slim people think?

[Episcomama]

...because I really do think there is a difference between how slim and overweight people think. I am very overweight - BMI of 33. So obese rather than overweight, technically.

I've been off and on diets all my adult life, and the only thing I've really had success with is intermittent fasting and keto. When I stick to it, it works. The problem isn't my body, it's my mind. It's as though there's a switch that gets flicked from time to time. A voice in my head telling me to eat in case of famine. Food occupies much of my waking hours - once I've had a meal I'm thinking ahead to the next one.

A dear friend is very slim and once mentioned that she just doesn't really find satisfaction in food in the way I do (comfort, commiseration, celebration, whatever.) When I spent the weekend with her recently, it really became apparent how differently we see food. She was mildly horrified at both the quantity and frequency of my meals whereas I couldn't understand how she was satisfied with what she ate.

Eating disorders aside, do you think there's a difference between a "thin mind" and a "fat mind", to express it crudely. And if you have a thin mind and used to have a fat mind, can you share with me how you flicked that switch?

I literally love food - thinking about it,talking about it and eating it! I am actually slim - but this time last year I wasn’t - I was 19lbs heavier than I am now. We weren’t long home from
Holidays and I hated every pic of me from that place !! I calorie counted it didn’t take too long 7 months and it was all gone and I look and feel a lot better - I literally still eat what I want just less of it..my partner is really slim and she always “ate what she wanted” but overtime I’ve realised she always ate smaller portions than me and that she moves a lot more lol. Calorie counting and weighing food helped most for me!

@ReanimatedSGB You are very strange. What on earth makes you think you have any idea about what goes on inside the head of a slim person? Which, incidentally, was what the OP asked. She didn't ask for bitter commentary.

the majority of women have at least a mildly disordered relationship with food According to what? This thread? Is that the scientific basis for your claims?

You say you're in your mid-50s. Isn't it time to grow up?

I think it is the same for over weight men. DP is a big guy 6.2 stocky big shoulders with a big stomach 18 stone at least.
My BILs are all trim, I see them looking at DP stomach, his friends and work colleagues take the piss, his brother, etc.
Men are more open to taking a dig in the name of jest.

Everyone is different, I don’t believe in a slim vs a non slim mind. I think it is a combination of physiology and phycology.

My metabolism has slowed down significantly since childbirth which is the reason for me being a healthy BMI and being underweight is now a thing of my past. I think if I exercised I would probably be 3kg lighter but then again I’d probably eat more so I think my current weight, give or take a kilo, is my natural weight.

I am five foot and overweight currently - the worse thing about being short is you gain 3kg and it is really obvious. I exercise and eat well but I think it’s the 🍷🤣

Yes, I think there's a difference in the mindset of a larger person Vs a slimmer person, but I don't think it's that simple. Putting things like emotional eating or being unable to eat while emotional aside, lifestyle has a lot of input too. I work nights, and that puts me at higher risk of obesity - and I am, so is my friend. I'm not sure of the scientific reasons why, but judging by my eating habits, it's because nights screw with your routine and patterns. For 4 nights I am awake and fighting to stay awake, and you get into a cycle of needing a boost (4am is a bitch for me) and I eat the opposite way around, so breakfast (toast usually) at about 6pm, a snack/lunch type thing of a sandwich or scone or similar anywhere between 2-5am, and then a meal about 8/9am, then sleep. My theory is my body needs a short term energy boost in the early hours and I end up on a loop of a few biscuits, coffee with sugar, chocolate etc, sugar boost, sugar drop and then round we go again. I've also never felt the type of hungry quite like Nightshift hungry. I only feel it during my 4 on and it seems to be just constantly there. On annual leave and my 4 off I'm not feeling that. Due to the nature of my job quick grab snacks rather than actual food is what tends to happen too. I have put weight on since going back on permanent nights. I'm usually too knackered to exercise much on my 4 on as well, though my job is physically active.
I think some people who work long hours with long commutes may have similar issues, office working where it's not naturally active but long hours meaning little time for exercise.
But all that said, I do think it's about your mindset too. I got an insight into what it's like to not be bothered about food all the time when I had gall bladder disease, it hurt to eat, to the point where eating scared me because I've never felt pain like that. I lost a lot of weight very quickly because I think my brain retrained to avoid food as it triggered pain. Slowly though my 'original' mindset won through after I had it removed, and I am back to square one. Well maybe more like 5 because I'm not as big as I once was.

I've always been thin, but also very active and do a lot of sports. I do enjoy food though and never skip meals, but I don't tend to snack much, although do have puddings most nights. I think I naturally moderate without having to actively calorie count, if I go out for dinner or have a big celebration I just won't feel as hungry the next couple of days. I'm in my 40's now, and still a size 8 but I do think having a big dog that needs a lot of exercise every day has helped me stay that way. I don't live in UK, so for long parts of the year I have to be up to exercise him before it's too hot, so have normally run 10k before 6, and then another hike at night. I also find the more I'm exercising the less my body craves / tolerates junk food and have found since I hit 40 I'm less able to drink alcohol which I think makes a difference.

I’m in my early 30s and been about the same size for 17 years and have 2 small children. I’m between a size 8/10 and 5’6. I think the thing that has kept my weight off is walking everywhere (don’t drive), doing exercises I enjoy, and the way I eat . I’m not a big snacker and chocolate and crisps don’t appeal to me. I love wholewheat pasta, fruit, seafood and veggies and drink mostly sparkling water sometimes with a bit of squash. I eat off of dessert-size plates and small bowls. My meals are homemade and I don’t eat a lot of ready meals or boxed meals. I often find them bland and end up adding things anyway so I prefer to just make my own. I steer clear of jarred sauces except for pizza sauce which I use a small amount of. I have treats when I crave them, but I consider what I’ve had for the day beforehand or have them in the mornings. I often make healthier versions of them when I can. If I want a takeaway I have them, and a late night one is about 2-3 a month max.

I love food, but it isn’t something I constantly think about, however I do think about what I’m putting in and will it satisfy me. I tend to eat about every four hours so I want to eat something that isn’t going to have me feeling hungry in two. I have a part-time job where I’m on my feet, am constantly moving and don’t get a break so need to stay fuelled until I am able to sit down and eat.

What flipped my switch was watching my parents eat and how they ate and moved as a teen. My parents and little sister are overweight. I never saw my parents eat breakfast and most of our food was packaged. We had a cabinet full of snacks and we often had fast food a few times a week. My parents spent most of their time in the car and at work and then would come home and sit. They both had jobs where they would sit or just be standing. When I left for uni, I did the opposite.

I am not slim but back within a healthy BMI for my height. After having my baby I began to stop eating once I was full and it made a massive difference. I eat everything but I now think if I am eating and I am starting to feel full I have probably already had enough and stop. Also if I have had a lot for lunch I won't eat dinner, or like yesterday I had a ice cream (huge scoop) while out so didn't eat lunch. The only exercise now is two 45 min walks a day (plus housework, shopping etc), before I cut down on eating I would go to the gym twice a week and I hardly lost anything. I think what you eat counts for a lot.

I'm slim in my 30s and was naturally extremely skinny in my 20s. I love food, find comfort and happiness in it and could shovel it in my face all day long. However, I know the consequences of doing this, so I moderate my gluttony with healthy light days and lots of walking and exercise. It helps that I have quite a lot of restless energy and enjoy walking.

Also I'd never push past feeling full - I've noticed quite a few people who are larger would never leave food on their plate or would go back for seconds because it's there - I understand concern about wasting food but it will inevitably lead to weight gain.

Oh and snacking. I would only snack because I was starving, I don't really understand opening a packet of biscuits in front of the tv and mindlessly eating.

But imho most slim people don’t eat very much at all, especially if they in their forties

I would agree with this. I'm 47 and I would say my waist size is about 28 to 30 inches. I have to buy 34" waist to get the right leg length, but they are massive on the waist.

I probably do have an unhealthy relationship with food, I don't actually enjoy it and only eat if I am hungry. Generally only one meal a day in the evening.

The thought of going out for a posh meal doesn't fill me with any excitement at all, a simple sandwich would be fine for me, as that gets rid of the hunger and it's job done.

Food occupies much of my waking hours - once I've had a meal I'm thinking ahead to the next one.

I'm slim and have been so for 30 years. I wasn't as a kid and teenagers. I can say that the above definitely applies to me. I do think of food all the time and food is a comfort to me. I am not naturally slim, if I don't adopt strategy, I'll put on a stone in a couple of months.

I can really say that the reason why I am slim is determination because I hate the idea of being overweight more than any of the strategies I have to put in place to remain slim. I don't like saying no to the chocolate I got for my birthday. I don't like stopping to McDonald and get a meal for my DS and nothing for me. I don't like going out and telling myself that I can't have the dessert, and I don't like doing my weekly shopping and not putting things that are so tempting in the trolley.

But none of those things are worse than I would feel if I was overweight, both how it affects me physically and mentally. My confidence and self-esteem would be at bottom low and I couldn't live like that.

So I spend my time coming up with ways I can indulge a bit without putting on weight and cutting down when I do put on a few pounds. It's part of my life every single day, but I don't see it as a massive restriction, no more than regularly looking at the clock to keep track of time, it's become second nature.

Right now, I have opted for an intense workout programme to counteract being able to still treat myself through the menopause. I would much rather not go through these sessions, but again, I rather 1 hour of pain 4 times a week if it means still being able to have treats and plate sizes that makes me satisfied whilst still remaining slim.

But imho most slim people don’t eat very much at all, especially if they in their forties
No they eat what their bodies need, it seems like 'not much at all' to those who overeat.

Like I said above, I do eat more than I need, so I have to counteract it by burning large amount of calories, much more than the average person my age. It's one or the other.

I am 5ft 5in, 42 tomorrow and hover around 13st, so top end of the overweight BMI.

I used to be a size 10/12. When I was that size I was early 20s, in the gym 3 or 4 times a week and spent every weekend off my tits on party drugs.

I like good food. I like healthy food. I cook from scratch using fresh ingredients. I am a good cook and enjoy cooking for my family and then enjoy eating it. During the day I don't eat much. No breakfast (except occasionally on a weekend), either a made sandwich on wholemeal bread (ham salad, tuna, cheese and pickle) or a salad or soup for lunch, but forget lunch probably 3 times a week, then a normal dinner with my family. Don't snack, don't have pudding except on a sunday.

I am fairly active. Clock up 10k steps most days, have horses and just started riding again, did some kayaking over summer, have an allotment I am on every day plus the usual housework bollocks and running around after a 5 year old and a teenager.

I do drink too much (but am working on this).

When I read threads like this, I can relate more to the slim people that post. I enjoy food, but healthy food. I often forget to eat. I don't snack, I don't have a sweet tooth, I don't have a cheese habit, or a pringles obsession. I rarely have white bread. Prefer salad to pudding.

And yet I am overweight. And if I wasn't as active know I would be obese.

So for me, it's not as simple as thinking like a thin person. Before I found out that clubs were more fun with disco biscuits, I was chubby then, before dcs, in my 20s, at the gym and eating very little. So genetics have to play a part.

My half dsis is thin as a rake, stuffs her face constantly, had 4 dcs and is only 2 years younger. 2 of my other half sisters are chubsters, 1 is permanently on a diet, the other does a very physical job. Another half sister is skinny too.

Me and my chubby sisters got the fat genes apparently. I can get slim, it takes a lot of work and I can't eat much more than a 1000 calories a day and I can't drink at all.

Have resigned myself to being a chubby, but fit and healthy person. I weigh myself each week. If I am any heavier than 13st 2lbs I cut out a few meals for a week or 2. But I can't get below 12st unless I diet hard and stick at it forever and ever and ever.

Or start raving again.

I have been slim and I have been fat. I absolutely hate the notion that all overweight people have some odd relationship with food.

I am heavier now as I am in my 50's and larger after completely missing the signs of perimenopause, due to a change in work/life balance, having a job where I sit on my arse and because I have drastically reduced my activity. Sure I eat more than I need, clearly, but as a 5 ft middle-aged lady who does very little exercise, My energy requirements are low. What I eat is likely someone else's weight loss diet. Two jaffa cakes at afternoon tea will make a difference for me, (errugh I hate them by the way, just using an example).

Did I think differently when I was thin? Hmmm. Yes, I think I obsessed MORE over food back then.

I am fairly slim and tall. I have had an eating disorder well I still have it really I just can keep it in check. I am currently considering allowing my Ed to take over again. I feel fat and ugly. In reality I'm not fat and I'm nowhere near ugly but from the years of abuse I suffered this is a consequence. As I slim person I always think I need to be slimmer, i need to purge etc. I hate it but can't seem to help it.

I'm usually slim (around a UK size 10) but recently crept up to a 12 and had put 2 stone on in the past year. I've lost over a stone lately and my mindset has started to change. I'm not longer seeing food as a "treat", I haven't added salt to my food. I'm also doing regular exercise which I enjoy!

I've done an intense 6 week boot camp but plan on doing slimming world to lose the extra weight by Christmas and to keep my focus.

Slimming world is good as you are allowed treats and can eat out etc.

My boot camp is brutal and doesn't allow freedom to eat out/go off plan at all. So it's worked but isn't sustainable.

Generally I'll have wine OR chocolate, crisps OR sweets, I eat healthily through the week then have more freedom on a weekend. If I have a heavy weekend I'll cut right back for the following week.

Food should be enjoyed but healthy food can be delicious.

I make a bacon and lentil soup which is delicious and very filling yet also cheap to make and easy to make.

I'm slim and love love love food.
for me it's all about taste rather than quantity. so, I'll make something really good but only have a small amount of it.
It's a bit of a not so vicious circle, once you're slim you feel fuller much quicker.
Also, if \I know I'll be having a lot to eat in one meal, I will drastically cut down the other meals.
I don't eat breakfast anyway.
oh, and never snack

How strange. Just had this exact conversation. I was a size 2-4 till I was 30. Skin and bones. Though I ate huge amounts. I just had a super fast matabolism. However this fast metabolism doesn’t help when I require medication. So for example. Many painkillers don’t work. As I metabolise too quickly. Anaesthetics don’t work very well. Any drug for sedation. Never ever work! Even the top and hardest drugs. As I found out when I went to have an endoscopy. Dr said he’s not met someone who the ‘slammer’ cocktail to drugs. To which he gave me the very highest dose he was legally allowed. And I’m still sat there grinning like a Cheshire Cat!

I was out on long term steroids. I put on 4 stone. I went up to a dress size of 12. I’m off the steroids now and back down to 6-8

Food wise. When I was younger. I loved crap foods. I could polish off 5-6 strawberry cornettos a night. But I’ve never loved food. I eat to stay alive. Rather than for pleasure. It’s really strange. I don’t go ooh and ahh over foods. I don’t really get satisfaction from food and I think that’s the difference.

I've been obese in the past but I'm now slim and have been for a decade.

The difference personally is I now make food and health a priority. I bloody love food, but I'm mindful of portions, mindful (not obsessed) with nutrition and I avoid 'empty' calories. I eat regular meals, cook from scratch and have lots of variety in the foods I eat. I love walking, hiking and running too so I'm fairly fit.

If I've had a big meal out, I won't snack the next day or two. If I've had a big slice of cake, I'll lay off sugary treats for a while.

For me, staying slim is about eating with mindfulness, not convenience.

I'm slim - 10-12 and tall. I have never done diets. Ever. Don't particularly think about what I eat but guess I'm fairly healthy and eat well although I eat quite a lot of chocolate.

I'm mid 40s and have definitely put on some weight in the last few years but that's fine.

I think some people are just lucky.

I’m 5ft 5 and about 58kg (about 9.5 stone) so I’m not particularly slim but I eat and eat and eat. I’m constantly eating and have really big portions and I will generally have bigger portions than my husband when we dish out the evening meal or if we go out to eat.

They want to be slim more than they want to eat.
But imho most slim people don’t eat very much at all, especially if they in their forties.

And their 50s Agree with this totally. I'm a fat mind in a very slim body (previously in an obese body). I don't think that I can 'cure' the fat mind part so ..... I have to manage it. Constantly. I work very hard at it.

On the upside, the 'managing process', while hard work, is not exhausting or depressing. Once into a routine, it's fine. If you're in your 40s, 50s or beyond, don't let it put you off losing weight if that's what you'd like to do. You can do it. And you can maintain it

I'm slim and love food. For me this is due to:

• genetics mainly! I am tall so when I put on weight it has further to be distributed.
• I have never dieted. All the people I know who are overweight are constantly on a diet. It obviously doesn't work, it just messes up your metabolism.
• I eat properly. At a table. I cook almost every day and I rarely snack between meals. If I do it is a small snack. I know this is unpopular but I am amazed at somethings that people on here consider "snacks" - they are actually full meals.

Following on from that I do think it helps that I live in Italy as there is less temptation. Chocolate bars and crisps are EVERYWHERE in the UK. It's actually quite strange. I definitely put on weight when I come to the UK.