How do slim people think?

[Episcomama]

...because I really do think there is a difference between how slim and overweight people think. I am very overweight - BMI of 33. So obese rather than overweight, technically.

I've been off and on diets all my adult life, and the only thing I've really had success with is intermittent fasting and keto. When I stick to it, it works. The problem isn't my body, it's my mind. It's as though there's a switch that gets flicked from time to time. A voice in my head telling me to eat in case of famine. Food occupies much of my waking hours - once I've had a meal I'm thinking ahead to the next one.

A dear friend is very slim and once mentioned that she just doesn't really find satisfaction in food in the way I do (comfort, commiseration, celebration, whatever.) When I spent the weekend with her recently, it really became apparent how differently we see food. She was mildly horrified at both the quantity and frequency of my meals whereas I couldn't understand how she was satisfied with what she ate.

Eating disorders aside, do you think there's a difference between a "thin mind" and a "fat mind", to express it crudely. And if you have a thin mind and used to have a fat mind, can you share with me how you flicked that switch?

I think it's easier to put on weight as you get older and I know that some of my issues with food stem from childhood

Carbs and cheese are my downfall

I definitely believe there's a massive thought difference with food and thin/fat people.

I used to eat quite normally, and was a size 12, maintained quite easily with bugger all exercise.
There was a highly stressful time, and I just stopped eating during it. It wasn't intentional, my appetite just vanished, and obviously I lost a shitload of weight almost overnight.
My appetite has never come back. I used to be able to have a three course meal. These days I have to order a starter as my only course, and I probably won't even finish that. I haven't lost any more weight because my body is obviously used to the reduced amount of food.

I fucking miss food. I fucking miss enjoying food. I bloody well loved food. But to me, a good day now is managing to eat a crumpet.

@ReanimatedSGB You’re in your mid-50s, say “there is more to life than fussing and whining about the exact dimensions of my body”, yet your contribution to this thread is that thinness is due to drug use, eating disorders and a sense of moral superiority. Oookay.

I'm slim and I love food but PP is right, I like being slim more. Part of it stems from the fact that I don't think I have a very attractive face - strong features - so being slim makes me feel better about that. Although, as I get older (in my 40s now) being slim seems to make me look old so part of me thinks I should put on a bit of weight.

A good part of my weight is genetics but the other part is self-deprivation. I don't think I have a particularly healthy relationship with food to be honest. If I do eat "unhealthily" for more than just a one off, I feel guilty about it. It's not an attitude I want to pass on to my own DC.

When I was young I grew up with a mother who was constantly battling her weight, with a battalion of aunties and cousins who were doing the same.
Chattering on about it like being a grown up, like blue eyeshadow and getting a perm (guess the decade!)
When I came into my teen years, I started to lose my hair, that took ALL my body focus, everything hinged on that. Meanwhile, my sister and contemporaneous cousins went full on in on the weight. Most of them became overweight at certain points, yo yo dieted, another one severely restricted her intake.
My hair improved in my 20s. At that point I had missed out on the Weight imprinting as a teenager. I just had to accept the way I was - I never thought, I can always lose just another half stone and then I'll be happy. My obsession was one I had to make peace with, because I had no control.
A smidgen of control is the worst thing when it comes to body acceptance. It leads to obsession, trying and failing, emotional imprinting when you are young and finding your place.

I'm approaching middle age now. Eat what I want, but what i want has no emotional baggage. If my trousers get too tight I eat the same as the family only less carbs and biscuits. It simply is not an issue. I'm a bit chubby for my height but fuck it.
On the other hand, fucking grey hairs, getting brittle and thin....!

TLDR that feeling of constant striving for perfection when young leads to disordered eating, while you are still too young for perspective.

Your mind gets used to your ‘usual’ weight. So will constantly try to keep you on that weight. It takes a very long time on a lower weight for the mind to get used to that and will then adjust your hunger.

However there is also our cravings and emotions around eating, which are complex.

I used to be slim and able to eat anything. Except I didn’t I realize I often didn’t eat that much as I was used to not having regular meals. A bit sporadic.

When I put on weight after pregnancy, even now I struggle to maintain an okay weight. I am within BMI but I have to constantly watch what I eat. Which is tedious as I love food!

I'm 50 and a size 8. I weigh about 8 stone and am about 5'5" though I was naturally much slimmer when younger with a similar food intake. I like food a lot and enjoy cooking and eating a nice meal but I don't think about it much apart from thinking about what to buy that I'd like to eat at the supermarket. I snack if I am hungry, mainly fruit, nuts, cheese, crackers, crisps, crudités etc. I'm not mad keen on sweet/sugary things and can go weeks without eating anything with added sugar just because I never really feel like it.

I don't really think about calories etc. I haven't got a huge appetite anyway and would struggle to finish eg a restaurant main course in most places as they are just too much food for me. In most restaurants I would order two starters instead of a starter and main course, and maybe a side salad or portion of veg with the one that was pretending to be a main course. I would eat a similar amount of food at home for a main course (small amount of protein/carbs, lots of veg or salad) just because that's what I like eating.

I am a bit heavier than I used to be as I've got older. I don't mind. It's normal.

I just don't get excited by food. I don't understand the passion some people have for it. My inlaws discuss every aspect of each meal we're eating and it's always faintly disgusted me.

I probably have slightly skewed attitude to it though. I've often struggled to eat in public...I liken eating to going to the toilet...it's just the opposite!

I find the whole ritual of "eating out" troublesome too. Sitting there...waiting for food, talking while you eat...it's a bit gross to me.

I eat when my stomach growls.

Interesting that a lot of people are saying they're just naturally slim
Yes I think supersize vs superskinny debunked that theory week after week.
Even the naturally slim ones did not get half as much. After 2 weeks the slim gained the larger lost.
I am naturally slim people would say.ive never been fat, I try everything in moderation and eat what I like BUT I guarantee the portions are smaller than a large person.
I ate like feck on new medication I put on 15lb in a month, Iost it quick but it was an eye opener.

I think childhood has a hell of a lot to do with it to be honest. We were told to finish our plates, and we were given massive, adult sized portions from a young age. I remember lying on the sofa, stuffed so full I could barely move. Why my parents insisted of feeding us so much I don't know - rationing was long gone!

This kind of education takes a lot of unlearning.

I remember my mum saying she thought kids always needed an extra few pounds on them in case they were sick and lost weight but in my case I was around 20 pounds overweight - not good.

I’m a size 10, and love food, I am super greedy, and could easily eat until I feel sick. I also know if I go up a dress size, i don’t like the way I look and feel, so I am fairly mindful about how I eat. I don’t see food as “good” or “bad”, but we tend to have things like cake, crisps, puddings at the weekend rather than every night. I’m on holiday just now, so all bets are off, but I will rein it in when I am back to work.

I do about 18,000 steps on most work days, which helps, and I weigh myself once a week - I don’t worry about slight fluctuations, but if I am up over a few weeks then I will have eg soup for dinner for a few nights, and no treats.

I’m slim (and on the short side) and just eat what I want, whenever I want. I don’t really put much thought into food or have a strict diet/routine - I have whatever I’m craving at the moment eg a vegan day or restaurant order or whatever.

I would say that I probably have between 1200-1800 calories a day, I never really eat that much to gain wait even I don’t monitor what I eat/calories.

I’m also active though. I find it really tedious to eat lots of protein as I’m not a meat eater but want to build muscle. This means lots of edamame beans or just food that I don’t particularly like.

There is no slim people eating over 3000 calories a day. unless an athlete
There are no obese who eat less than 2000 calories a day. unless medical issue
Nothing natural about it.
Like a pet the older we get the less food we need, reason older people put on lots of weight.

I’m a 6/8

I've been underweight and obese, so seen it from both sides,I'm a healthy weight at the moment. No I have never used drugs other than nicotine, have an eating disorder or considered myself morally superior.
When I was very thin I used to be very busy, not get time to eat, smoked, and/or was skint.
When I was obese I had enough time and money to eat whatever I wanted, which tended to be things like lots of sandwiches multi packs of mini cheddars, packets of biscuits, etc etc.
To stay a healthy weight requires a conscious effort for me, I can't eat whatever I want. I do it because I don't want to get diabetes T2, or have a stroke, dementia or heart attack in my '50s like both my parents did. 2 more years and I will have outlived my Dad.
I exercise a fair amount as well, that does make me feel good.

i've always been slim (size 8) and even for my build, very much on the light side. 5'8" and have only just hit 9 stone in my nearly mid forties. Spent 20's and 30's having/after 2 children at less than 8.5 stone.

I really like food, rarely skip a meal and very much believe that when you eat is almost as important as what you eat. Only having one meal a day just means your body will hold onto everything because it knows it's going to be a long time until it gets more food. Think how clever the body is in learning how ofter you breastfeed your baby, the stomach and digestive system is probably also just as clever.

In my late teens I read an article in Company or Cosmo about eating like a fat or a thin person , regardless of how you actually looked. I realised I ate so many sweets, chocolates, cakes and crisps that I should have been the size of a house. It made me rethink my eating. I also went on a two week diet, the only one I have ever been on. Cutting out all the crap. I actually put on weight. Found that where chocolate and sweet things are concerned I definitely have a stop mechanism and can't eat that much in one go but I ended up eating loads of sandwiches in order to feel full. It basically set me on a path of all things in moderation. I am pretty disciplined but I do eat chocolate every day. Avoid cheese, creamy things etc etc. You couldn't pay me to eat potato salad or pasta salad but give me a salad full of veg and i'm very happy.

The only way to lose weight is to be in a calorie deficit and how many calories any one individual can consume is completely unique to them. I do believe everyone has a natural body weight/size and there are usually some signs often in the wrist/hand, ankle/feet. Take a look at the likes of Catharine Zeta Jones when she had lost loads of weight - her wrist and hands didn't match the rest of her because she genuinely was not built to be so slim. If it's possible to find your true weight/size, i'm sure it's much easier to maintain.

I’m fairly slim and I just don’t often feel hungry, I’ve always been that way, I can’t eat much at a time and I eat because I need to survive. I do listen to my body though and if I’m craving something it’s for a reason so I eat it, I do have a day or two a month where I will eat everything in sight!
I just don’t think much about food, it’s a necessity not something I relish.

Wait until the menopause, I have been slim all my life, no sweet tooth, varied from size 10 to 14 post pregnancy, always been able to lose weight to a 10/12 when I set my mind to it.

I cycle every day and run 2x weekly too, but now I have a scary huge midriff. I can't shift it with my usual reigning in even with the exercise and now I'm looking at a hugely restricted diet to fit into my clothes.

Fuck womanhood.

I enjoy food, but I don't think about it all that much unless I'm about to eat.
I like eating but I hate feeling full up it really slows me down, so what I do is I don't need anything at all until about 4pm and then it's just one sort of continuous meal until 2 a.m.
I like to feel empty in the daytime when I'm busy doing stuff and then I just fill up at night when I'm sitting still.
(BMI 22.3)

Definitely a huge difference in the thought processes of fat and thin people. Those who don't recognise this tend to be the thin people!
I have heard the whole 'forgot to eat' thing before when someone is busy and to me it's inconceivable and annoying. My brain is telling me to eat every ten minutes, I have to fight it. Not a chance I'd 'forget '!

I eat to survive. I find no pleasure in eating, it’s a chore. And preparing/cooking food is even worse. Obviously I enjoy treats as much as the next person, but I find meals and sitting down to eat so boring. I just don’t enjoy it.

I’m a size 6/8.

Depends. Being predisposed to a "slim" attitude towards food doesn't really help much if you're dealing with an illness or medication which causes extreme hunger or affects your metabolism.

if you're dealing with an illness or medication which causes extreme hunger or affects your metabolism
I agree.
The majority of obesity is not from those issues. It is an addiction to giving yourself a treat, time management, boredom and convenience food.

I almost never forget to eat but I don't get urges to eat outside of my normal meal times and if I do miss a meal I can usually put it out of my mind if I have to
One problem is that we are all constantly bombarded by food cues so if that happens to be your weakness it's impossible to avoid ....and we all do have weaknesses of course!